Hi all, Yep, it's me again - Steve, writer of many a bad parody. I've recently noticed several messages in this .creative forum regarding X-Files erotica, and how such stories portray Mulder and Scully as being out of character. Personally, I'm not terribly fond of X-Files erotica either, for the exact same reason. But whenever I see something so controversial in this forum, I just feel like I have to be a part of it1 :^) Therefore, I've written up a little story that is sure to further ruffle your feathers. Another reason I'm writing this story is that up till this time, I've noticed that only the ladies were writing X-Files erotica. I wondered why this was the case, since men are just as capable of generating smut as the ladies (perhaps even more so). Therefore, I've decided to try my hand at erotica, giving the subject my own spin on things (Uh oh!). * * * * WARNING !!! * * * * * * * * WARNING !!! * * * * * * * * WARNING !!! * * * * The following material is ***EROTICA***. It contains scenes of nudity, graphic sex, and bestiality (heh heh, just kidding about that last part). In addition, if you do not like seeing Mulder or Scully doing anything that would be out of character, do not read any further. I should warn you that some of the things in this story could be considered deviant behavior, and may therefore surprise you. You even might find certain elements of the story to be morally repugnant. If you are under 18, or are immature, or lack an open mind, or do not have a sense of humor, or otherwise easily offended by material of an adult nature, ***do not read this story!!!!!***. I hereby state that anyone who ignores this warning and proceeds to read the story anyway will forfeit all right to criticize or flame me in any matter whatsoever regarding to this story. * * * * * * * * PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! * * * * * * * * Here follows "The Sex-Files," by Steven Han, 8/31/1994 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11:57 p.m. Washington, D.C. Fox Mulder walked forth through the park in the dark of midnight. He passed an old man sleeping on a park bench with a flock of pigeons nearby. Walking towards the center of the park, Mulder approached a lone empty bench near a pond. Glancing around, he sat down. A few minutes passed, and then a few more. Bored, Mulder gazed around the park, its few inhabitants barely visible in the moonlight. Off to his right he saw a gazebo in the distance, cradling the outline of a couple sitting in a lovers' embrace. To his left, Mulder saw nothing but trees and the full moon high above. Minutes turned into hours as Mulder sat and waited. He shifted around on the bench, then got up and took a stroll around the area. Glancing down at his watch, he saw that it was past two a.m. It appeared his contact wasn't going to show after all. Out of the corner of his eye, Mulder noticed someone staggering in his direction. The figure was hunched over and making some sort of noise. As the person approached closer, Mulder noticed it was a woman, and that she was coughing. Her head was drooped over as she tried to keep her balance and stay on the bike path. Not noticing anyone else around, Mulder turned in her direction to see if she might need some help. He walked towards her slowly at first, not certain what her problem might be. As he got near her, the woman raised her head, and Mulder guessed she was in her early twenties. She was wearing a black leather biker jacket, complete with chains and studs, over a black T-shirt with a white skull-and-crossbones logo. She also had on blue jean cutoffs and fishnet stockings. Her hair was dyed some strange colors, which were difficult to make out in the dim moonlight. But upon approaching closer, Mulder could swear her hair looked like shades of... orange and blue. The girl looked up at Mulder and eyed him curiously. She raised a thin cigarette up to her mouth and took a puff. She blew out smoke in Mulder's face, causing him to wince in pain. "So, what are you, some kind of flasher?" asked the girl, pointing towards Mulder's London Fog raincoat. Mulder smiled and was about to respond when the girl bent over and started coughing uncontrollably. ".. *Cough* ... Ack...." belched the girl, before slowly raising her head again. She pulled the joint back up to her face, apparently fighting the urge to take another draw. Wincing, she threw down the smoke and stomped on it with her black leather boots. "Goddamned cheap reefers, man - I swear, our country's quality control is going straight to hell." Mulder carefully studied her appearance. Outwardly, she seemed to be a common street urchin, but her demeanor suggested much more. Behind the bleached and dyed hair, behind the two-inch long black eyelashes, behind the nose ring and safety-pin earrings, and behind the reefer smoke she was blowing in his face, Mulder was somehow intensely attracted to her, like a moth to a flame. Despite her garish exterior, she possessed an almost magical pull; there was just something about her, hiding behind her harsh appearance - a lure of a radiant intelligence, of a deeply hidden passion, of an inner beauty... Mulder quickly shook off the thought. Not wanting to appear like a creep, he asked her, "Well, hello miss. It's rather late to be out walking alone like this. Do you require any help?" She looked back at him, staring him squarely in the eyes. "Hey, what's it to ya, buster? And just what are *you* doing out here?" Mulder smiled and pulled out his badge. "Not to worry, miss. My name is Fox Mulder, and I'm with the FBI." "Pretty snazzy badge, guy," responded the girl, unimpressed. "I bet you got that thing just to pick up chicks." Mulder grinned and put away the badge. "No miss, that's not exactly my style. Now what exactly are you doing here at this time of night? And are you feeling okay?" "Hey, I don't need no fed asking me questions. What, are you conducting some sort of an investigation here or something? Chasing criminals?" Mulder smiled as he shook his head. "No miss, no investigations tonight. I was just supposed to meet someone..." He stopped himself, although he hardly suspected her of being one of them. He just didn't think she'd find his story too interesting. "Well, looks like you got stood up, eh? Too bad, since... *hack*!" She bent over again and started coughing uncontrollably. Mulder stepped up to her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Miss, I'm going to take you to see a doctor. You need help." The girl jerked her head back up and stepped away from Mulder. "Hey, I'm fine! I don't need to go to a stinking hospital! I'm just a little tired..." She then started to stagger about, looking dizzy. Mulder approached closer and grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling. "Well then, where do you live? I'll take you home and you can get some rest." The girl looked at Mulder and grinned. "Home, heh, what's that?" "You don't have a place?" "Hell, the last place I had, I shared with two dudes and three gals. But they were total losers, all of them. And that was back in Cleveland." Mulder shook his head, wondering what to do with this girl. Finally, he said, "Look - I don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging out here in the middle of nowhere. You can stay at my place for the night, and in the morning we can figure out what to do about you." "Why, you're a ge-nu-ine prince, Mr. Mulder. Now you wouldn't happen to be of those sick perverts, are you?" "Only during a full moon, Miss. Then I grow a beard and sprout a pair of long canines," replied Mulder, taking her arm in his. "Now what exactly is your name?" "Tani," said the girl, grinning at his sense of humor. "Okay, Tani," said Mulder softly, as he led her away from the bike path. He felt her leaning her head and shoulders into him as they proceeded to walk together towards his car, locked in step. Mulder began to sense that beneath her tough exterior, Tani hid a soft and sensitive heart. He figured her appearance was probably just a shell, a front she used to keep people away. But away from what, he wondered. Tani pulled her arm out of Mulder's and wrapped it around his waist, leaning into his chest. It made walking more difficult for the both of them, but Mulder didn't mind. It seemed that after her initial period of apprehension, she was beginning to warm up to him. He stole a glance down at her face, although he could only see the part of it that wasn't buried in his coat. But behind the ratty hair and the three earrings on her left ear, she exuded a radiant air of sensuality, an intoxicatingly pungent scent of womanhood. Or perhaps it was just that she hadn't showered in a while. 11:35 p.m. Syracuse, N.Y. Dana Scully looked up at the sign by the front entrance to the club. "Lady's Night Out," it said. Not exactly a family-type outfit, but this was where the clues were supposed to be. She shrugged and stepped inside. Scully walked cautiously down the steps and into the dark and smoky clubroom. She noticed groups of women sitting around the tables, laughing and throwing back drinks. She looked around and wondered who here might have been witness to the abduction. A young waitress walked by and said to her, "Ma'am, it's a two drink minimum. What're you going to have?" Scully turned to her and tried to explain, "Actually, I'm just here looking for some information." "Sorry ma'am, the two drink minimum applies to everyone - just doing my job." "Oh allright, fine. Give me two ginger ales," said Scully. Scully approached a table with three women sitting around it. The women were all in their thirties and wearing entirely too much makeup. Scully spoke. "Excuse me ladies, but have you heard anything about an abduction of a retired man around here recently?" One of the women turned briefly in her direction and growled. "Hey babe, leave us alone, will ya? the show's almost about to start." Flushed, Scully turned around and sat down at an empty table. She started eyeing the other women in the club, to see if any of them might be more helpful... Suddenly, she was bolted from her seat by the loud noise of amplified music. Turning towards the source of the sounds, she saw the stage lighting up and the women turning and clapping towards it. Moments later, she heard the sound of gunshots in the air. Instinctively, she reached for her gun. But before she could pull it out, she noticed someone stepping out onto the stage. Bouncing onto the stage was more like it, actually. Scully was relieved to see that it was just a performer, a young man dressed in a cowboy outfit complete with fake six-shooters. But upon closer inspection, Scully was surprised to find that the guns were nearly the only thing he had on. Otherwise, he had only a cowboy hat and a skimpy bikini bottom to his credit. Scully noticed the women around her suddenly howling and yelling at the near-naked performer. Some got up on their chairs and whistled at the man, while others twirled scarves and hankies in the air. The man pranced out onto the stage and began dancing and gyrating about wildly. "Whooo-oooh!" shouted one woman, leaning forward towards the stage. "Come to mama, baby!" said another, jumping up and down on her chair. "Take it off!" yelled another woman, getting up on a table. She had to be pulled off by her friends. "Ride'em, cowboy!" yelled another woman, elbowing her way to the front of the crowd gathering by the stage. "No, ride *ME*, cowboy!" yelled another woman, waving dollar bills in the air. "Take it off, take it *all* off!" shouted another woman, reaching over onto the stage and sticking a roll of dollar bills down the performer's bikini briefs. Scully was flabbergasted at the display of unadulterated estrogen taking place in front of her. She was about to get up and excuse herself from the whole mess when the waitress returned and approached her table. "Two ginger ales - that'll be eight dollars, ma'am." "Eight dollars, for two ginger ales?" asked Scully, looking up incredulously. "I'm sorry, but I just work here, ma'am," replied the waitress politely. Scully begrudgingly looked through her purse and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. "Here, keep the change," she said, handing the bill to the waitress. "Thank you, ma'am," said the waitress, turning to walk away. Just then, it sank in to Scully that the waitress, unlike the lusty women in the club, had been quite courteous and polite. Perhaps she might be of some help. "Uh, excuse me, waitress?" Scully asked, stopping her as she was about to leave. "Yes, ma'am?" said the waitress, turning around. Scully smiled up at her. "You don't need to call me ma'am. I'm special agent Dana Scully, with the FBI," she said, flashing her badge. "I'm here investigating a case. Perhaps you can help me." The waitress approached closer and responded. "Sure, anything I can do to help, ma'am, er - Ms. Scully" Scully marveled at the waitress's innocence. Even in the dim light, she could tell the girl couldn't be much older than twenty-one. Her soft, sandy brown hair ran down to her shoulders, framing her youthful heart-shaped face like a picture in a treasured locket. Somehow, Scully was mysteriously drawn to the warmth of the girl's face, which exuded a wonderfully honest and endearing charm. She noticed that although the girl wasn't wearing much makeup, her natural beauty shined through brighter than any cosmetics could allow. "Have a seat, Ms.....," said Scully, as she noticed the waitress's slim but curvy figure. "Lemma. Lemma Swansong," replied the waitress, grabbing the chair across from Scully and seating himself. "Lemma - what an interesting name," said Scully, amused. "Well, I'm a mathematician. Or a math student, actually. And my mother and father were both mathematicians, you see. And their parents before them, and their parents' parents, and so on," said Lemma, scooting her chair forward. "Now what was this you wanted to ask me about?" Scully leaned forward to get a better look at Lemma's eyes. The soft, soulful circles appeared to be green, but they could just as well have been blue or gray in this light. "Well, Lemma, I'm here investigating the circumstances surrounding the disappearance of an old man near U.S. 41, just outside of town. They say that all traces of him disappeared, with the sole exception of his shoes." Lemma's eyes perked up. "Why, you mean Mr. Roberts? that's been the talk of the town the past couple of days! I've heard from over a dozen people who saw him shortly before he disappeared, Ms. Scully" Scully grew fascinated. "Call me Dana. Now what do you know of the circumstances surrounding the abduction?" Suddenly, the gruff bartender shouted over to Lemma. "Hey honeybuns, I'm not paying ya to chat with the customers; go get their orders!" Embarrassed, Lemma got up and apologized to Scully. "Ms. Scully, er, Dana, I'm sorry, but I have to tend to the tables. If you stick around, I can talk to you some more later." Scully smiled mischievously towards Lemma, raising a glass. "I'll be here," she winked. 2:45 a.m. Washington, D.C. Mulder helped Tani up the stairs and into his apartment. As he flicked on the lights, Tani marveled at the messy state of his pad. "Why, I don't remember a place this messy since I had to sleep in the dumpster a coupla months ago," said Tani, kicking pizza boxes out of her way. Mulder collected up the garbage lying around the floor and cleared up the sofa. "I'll sleep on the couch - I always do anyway," he said, smiling. He turned a corner and went into the bedroom. Mulder fiddled inside the bedroom, and a bed mysteriously popped up out of nowhere. Tani wandered around the confusingly laid-out apartment, wandering into the bathroom by mistake. Turning around, she found herself in the kitchen. It was only when Mulder called to her that she finally located the bedroom. "Here, the bed hasn't been slept on in quite a while, but it should be fine," said Mulder. "You can wash up in there..." But before Mulder could finish up his sentence, he noticed that Tani had thrown off her jacket and planted herself down on the sofa in the living room, turning on the TV. Noticing Mulder approaching, she turned to look up at him and said, "Sorry, but I'm an insomniac. Never been able to sleep like a normal person." Mulder plopped himself down on the sofa next to Tani and replied, "I know just what you mean. I have the exact same problem myself." * * * Scully watched as the last of the women filed out of the club, staggering and helping each other towards the door. Lemma carried away the remaining empties and made her way back to Scully's table, taking a seat across from Scully. "So, did you enjoy the show?" asked Lemma. "Well, it was... different," said Scully, uncertain whether she even understood the show or not, much less enjoyed it. "Well, you know," continued Lemma, "it's a real popular attraction for the ladies. It's not exactly *my* cup of tea, but the job helps pay the bills. An education can be pretty expensive these days. You see, I'm working on my master's in applied mathematics, Ms. Scully." Scully smiled, charmed by Lemma's openness and sprightly energy. "That's Dana - remember, you can call me Dana," she said, gazing into Lemma's deep, entrancing eyes. "So tell me, Lemma, going to school during the day and working nights - how do you manage to have any fun?" Lemma blushed and responded, "Well, Ms. Scully, er, Dana, I suppose it *is* kind of difficult to meet people, working such late hours and all. In fact, it can get downright lonely sometimes. But I do manage." Almost subconsciously, Scully reached over across the table and placed her hand on top of Lemma's. Lemma was a bit startled, and started to pull her hand back. But then she saw Scully's reassuring smile and relaxed her hand, leaving it in place. A bit embarrassed, she looked down at the table, then raised her head again briefly to steal a glance at Scully. She noticed Scully gazing at her admiringly with a sweet smile on her face. Feeling suddenly flustered, Lemma cleared her throat and turned the topic of conversation back to the investigation. "Ahem, Ms. Scully - er, Dana, sorry, there I go again. Now you wanted to know more about Mr. Robertson's abduction?" Scully moved her hand off Lemma's, then ran her forefinger down the length of Lemma's pinkie. "That's right, Lemma. You say you heard from people who saw Mr. Robertson shortly before he was abducted?" "Yes, Ms... er, Dana. He was seen leaving the church last Sunday, around 2 in the afternoon. Several people saw him walking home - he lives no more than a couple of miles from the church. But some friends went to call on him later in the day and he wasn't home. And no one's seen him since." Scully paused to admire Lemma's voluptuous full red lips as they formed her words, delivered in the clearest and softest voice she had ever heard. She began to slide into a trance brought on by Lemma's mesmerizing voice, when the manager suddenly interceded. "Hey lady, we're closing here. Go home and give it a rest, will ya?" Surprised, Lemma glanced back at the manager, then looked back at Scully. "Um, Ms. Dana, perhaps you could come back tomorrow night, and we could talk some more then?" Scully looked back at her with longing eyes and said, "Well, why don't I drive you home? My car's parked just outside." Lemma was a bit hesitant, but she thought Scully looked sincere. And besides, she had been such a dear... "Okay, I'll just finish up here, and we can be on our way." Several minutes later, Scully and Lemma got into the Taurus. They left the parking lot and drove east. Lemma pointed the way towards a park a short distance away, and Scully pulled up in front of a modest trailer. Scully stepped out and noticed some heads popping out from neighboring trailers and glancing in her direction. As soon as she turned to look at them, however, they quickly disappeared back inside. Shaking her head, Scully turned back towards Lemma, who unlocked the door to her trailer. She pointed the way in, saying "It may not be much, but it's home. Won't you come in for a spot of tea?" Scully grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Why, I'd be delighted, Lemma." * * * Mulder handed Tani the remote, then got up and walked over to the kitchen to boil some water. "Tani, do you want some coffee or tea?" he asked. "Got any Wild Turkey?" she asked. "Coffee it is, then," replied Mulder wryly. Several minutes later, Mulder curled up next to Tani, placing the two coffee mugs down on the table. "So, Tani, why don't you tell me a bit more about yourself?" "What do you want to know?" she asked, picking up a mug and sipping the dark black coffee. "Well, how about telling me how you ended up here in D.C.?" Tani leaned back in the sofa, taking a deep breath. She started, "well, Fox," "Call me Mulder," he interjected. Tani gave him a funny look, then continued. "Okay, Mulder, see - it's like this. I started out in Duluth, where I grew up. My older brother, he played in a local rock band. I jammed with his band once in a while, playing drums. But later, when they decided to take their act on the road, that was splitsville. They took a drummer with 'em that was old enough to get into the bars where they'd play." "So I hung around town for a while, playing with a couple of bands here and there. But I eventually got bored with those losers - I wanted to get around, see the sights. So I hit the road and started hitching from town to town, playing with the odd band here and there." "And so you ended up here," said Mulder. Eyeing her suspiciously, he asked, "do you really play the drums?" Tani chuckled, and reached down to the floor to dig inside her jacket. She pulled out a pair of drumsticks and proudly waved them in front of Mulder. She then promptly began drumming on Mulder's coffee table. She struck notes on the wooden surface, the half-empty coffee mugs, and then on Mulder's knee. She giggled and looked up into his eyes. Smiling, Mulder took the drumsticks from Tani's hands and began slowly strumming them on her knees, then her thighs, and then her shoulders. He said jokingly, "so, you have a gig here yet?" "Not just yet. For now, I just figured I'd hook up with a cute guy who'd be understanding and supportive of my career goals," she said coyly. "Well, I guess you got lucky then," said Mulder, leaning towards her. He felt her warmth as she also leaned towards him, first rubbing her thighs against his, then her elbows, and then her shoulders. Her face approached his, and he turned his head slightly and aimed his smackers towards her purple lips. Soon, Mulder's lips were locked in a passionate kiss with Tani's, and his hands wrapped themselves around her head and neck. Tani's hands started wandering over Mulder's back, feeling out every one of his sleek muscles. Mulder pulled Tani towards him, laying her down on the couch on her back. His hands started wandering around her body, exploring her hair, her shoulders, her back. They drifted lower, to the small of her back, the curve of her hips, her thighs, her feet. Ouch, he cried quietly to himself, those darn spurs on her boots... * * * Scully entered the modest trailer, which was surprisingly immaculate. Not a single dirty pan or plate could be seen anywhere, and Scully was suitably impressed. Looking around further, she noticed that although the trailer was small, it had a nice, homey feeling to it, like the place was actually lived in. Perhaps the crochet stitchings and Norman Rockwell prints on the walls had something to do with it. "Won't you please sit down and make yourself comfortable?" said Lemma, putting away her purse and reaching for a tea kettle. "Would you like some coffee or tea?" "Tea would be delightful," responded Scully, sitting down on the old but tastefully covered up couch. She eyed the surroundings and realized this was probably just how she'd decorate a trailer - if she were to ever live in a trailer, that is. Scully observed Lemma as she came over with the tea platter and sat down next to her on the couch. Scully sensed that Lemma recognized the mutual attraction, but she still seemed a bit nervous. Well, I'll change that in no time, she thought. Scully scooted over closer to Lemma, and was pleased to see that Lemma didn't move away. Scully then subtly rubbed her thighs and hips with Lemma's, and noticed Lemma beginning to blush. She decided to play to the situation, taking the initiative. "So, Lemma, it must be rather lonely in here, living in this trailer all by yourself," said Scully. She pretended to stir the sugar in her tea, while gauging Lemma's reaction out of the corner of her eye. "Well, it's not so bad, actually... I have my neighbors and all. They're really quite friendly, especially Mrs. Johnson next door. We're the best of friends; she comes over a lot, and we chat all the time." Damn, this line wasn't working, thought Scully. She decided to adopt another approach. "Um.., Lemma, tell me - do you remember when you were young, and you and your girlfriends would share each other's innermost secrets?" "Why, sure, I remember," replied Lemma, smiling. "It wasn't that long ago that my high school girlfriends and I would gather together in my bedroom, telling each other our secrets until we got tired and went to sleep." "Well, Lemma, we can do that too," said Scully coyly. "Why don't we share our deepest, innermost secrets with each other? I promise not to tell your secrets to anyone else, and I trust you won't tell mine to anyone either," said Scully seductively. "Um, I'm not sure, Ms. Scully..." said Lemma hesitantly. "Well, if you're not comfortable telling me your secrets yet, why don't I start off," said Scully, batting her eyelashes. "Why, I remember when I was younger, about your age right now, about the time I was a senior in college. I remember I had many, many girlfriends, but there was this one special friend I had, who was ever so dear to me." "I remember we'd do everything together. We were the best of friends, and we were inseparable. And we swore we'd never ever let a man get between us. Because, you know, men are evil. They only want one thing, which is what we have. They don't truly understand love, real love. They don't understand the honest, genuine love that two open-minded women can share. They can't possibly understand that only a woman can truly ever love another woman." Scully leaned closer to Lemma, but Lemma pulled her head away slightly, as if still holding on to a glimmer of doubt. She was about to speak, but Scully cut her off and continued her soliloquy. "I'm speaking of the deep, beautiful, sincerest form of love that comes from the heart, Lemma. That's something a man can never feel, because he doesn't have the inner beauty and harmony that we women posses. And in order for us to truly explore and understand this love, Lemma, we must give in, give in to our passion for each other, our innermost desires. We must revel in the beauty of two women joining and becoming one, sharing their deepest needs and wants, entwining their fantasies and their realities. They must bond together and become one, Lemma." And with that, Scully locked her lips on Lemmas, as she felt the heat pulsing through Lemma's veins. She put her arms around Lemma's neck and embraced her, and she felt Lemma doing the same to her. * * * Mulder reached down and unbuckled Tani's snakeskin belt. He then peeled back Tani's cutoff jeans like a grapefruit, pulling them down beneath her ankles. They got caught in her boot spurs, and Mulder tugged and yanked them to pull them free. Unfortunately, Mulder heard a ripping sound, and the torn shorts came loose in Mulder's hands. "Oops," he muttered. "It's okay," said Tani, as she reached down to unbutton his shirt. The button holes on his denim shirt were too small, however, and Tani muttered under her breath as she struggled to guide a button through the opening. She swore at the shirt's manufacturer, growing ever more frustrated. Finally, she gritted her teeth and gathered up all her strength, ripping the shirt off Mulder's chest. Mulder was startled, but he didn't let it slow their pace. He reached over to grab the bottom of Tani's T-shirt, and pulled it over her head, revealing a sexy black bra underneath. He then lowered his hands and grabbed a stocking, pulling and rolling it down to her ankles. He lifted it off her foot and then did the same to the other stocking. Lowering himself to remove the second stocking from her feet, he suddenly realized that Tani probably hadn't bathed in quite a while. However, the musky smell only made him want her even more. Tani bent down and undid Mulder's pants, sliding them effortlessly off his legs. She noticed he was wearing red silk boxer shorts with little hearts on them - her favorite kind. She pulled on the elastic on the shorts, pulling them down to reveal the throbbing treasure inside. Mulder reached over Tani's back and fumbled with her bra. He swore at the man who designed these contraptions, wondering why they were always so much trouble to remove in the heat of passion. Grumbling, he finally managed to undo the hooks, and slipped off the bra over Tani's head. But as Tani tried to pull her arm out, the cups entwined her neck, and she started gasping. Only a quick recovery by Mulder kept her face from turning as blue as Mulder's denim shirt. Recovering, Mulder then reached down and pulled down her panties, noticing a tattoo on the inside of her right thigh. It said "Bubba." Mulder bent over her and laid her down on the sofa on her back. He reached down and gently kissed her lips, and then her cheeks. Soon, his smooch began to wander over her body. Her chin was next, then her nose, her ears, her neck, her elbow, the back of her knees... Finally, Mulder reached down and approached her precious flower, her womanhood, her dark cavern, her tunnel of love... She separated her creamy white thighs (and they *were* like real cream, not the cheap half-and-half mix of cream and milk, but the genuine 100% cream, full of milkfat)... Mulder gently kissed the inside of her thighs, working his way up to the buried treasure chest. He noticed yet another tattoo on her left thigh, saying "Goose." Ignoring it, Mulder climbed yet higher, finally reaching the valley of passion, the hidden caves of lust, the gates of delirium. He cautiously parted its doors with his fingers, lingering in the odoriferous lobby before plunging his tongue into the depths of its sacred halls. Soon, Mulder's tongue was exploring every corner of the love box, as if engaging in a long overdue spring cleaning. And while Mulder normally wasn't exactly a spic-and-span type of guy, he was certainly doing a thorough enough job of it here, and Tani was appreciating every minute of it. After several minutes of mopping up everything around it, Mulder finally landed on the jewel, the prize package of her cereal box. He caressed the small bulbous crest of her womanhood, the focal point of her feminine desires. A fire erupted inside Tani, as Mulder's tongue lashed out at her like a flame licking up from a burning torch. Mulder lifted his head back up and crawled forward on Tani's taut belly. He made his way up to her lips and kissed her, as she embraced him tightly. She could feel his tongue creeping into her mouth, exploring every millimeter of it... His tongue meshed with hers, jousted with it, and felt out the outline of her teeth. Exploring further, he found a bit of a candy bar stuck in her back teeth, apparently several days old. Hmm, it still tasted sweet, he thought. >From there, his tongue found its way to the roof of her palate, to the back of her mouth, down the back of her throat, and down her windpipe... Oops, perhaps a bit too far, thought Mulder, and promptly withdrew his tongue back into his own mouth. He climbed on top of her, and Tani could feel the warmth of his manhood rubbing against her thigh. It felt like someone had been leaning over her with a hot dog, and accidentally let the wiener fall out of the bun and onto her leg. Only, it was a huge wiener - more like a summer sausage - hmm... that wasn't it either; it was actually closer to a salami, one of those big tan things seen hanging in the butcher shop... Tani parted her thighs apart like the pages of a well-worn book, inviting Mulder to enter the warm pleasure zone. Their hearts pounded with anticipation. * * * Lemma eased herself onto the bed, as Scully gently pulled off the waitress skirt. Scully removed her own jacket and threw it behind her, as she climbed onto the bed by Lemma's feet. She bent down and pulled off Lemma's left stocking, then her right. She then reached down and undid her own skirt, letting it drop to the foot of the bed. Scully crawled up closer to Lemma, and undid the buttons on Lemma's blouse. As Lemma breathed deeply, Scully pulled the blouse over her head and arms, then threw it back over her shoulder. Scully then removed her own blouse, and tossed it behind her between her legs. Scully then bent over Lemma and slid her hands under her back, unclasping her bra. She apparently had a rather easy time of it, and the bra was loose in a fraction of a second. Scully lifted the bra over Lemma's arms, admiring the full curve of her creamy breasts. They looked as enticing as a pair of frosted sweet rolls on a silver platter. Scully then reached down and pulled Lemma's panties off, revealing the moist brown forest nestled between her soft tan legs. Scully stopped to breathe in the deep fragrance of the jungle, then proceeded to throw the panties back over her shoulder. Scully then deftly removed her own bra, exposing her own pert breasts to a smiling Lemma. She then removed her panties and threw then behind her, under her left arm this time. "Wow, Dana - you really *are* a redhead," exclaimed Lemma. Scully smiled and eased herself back down on the bed, as she caressed Lemma's thighs with her fingertips. Lemma sighed softly as she lay back on the bed, appreciating Scully's soft touch. Scully noticed that Lemma still seemed a tad tense to the touch - but she figured she would take care of that soon enough. Scully lowered herself still further, and maneuvered herself between Lemma's thighs. She gently parted Lemma's legs apart, and began rubbing the insides of her thighs, making little looping circles in the direction of her lush caverns. Scully sensed that Lemma was beginning to become more relaxed, and figured she was ready. She pulled herself up close to Lemma's folds and kissed them gently. She slowly parted the pink passion flaps with her fingers, and kissed the insides of the open lips. Looking up, she saw Lemma moaning softly with pleasure. Scully realized Lemma had at last given in completely, finally submitting herself to total passion. Scully dove in eagerly for the enticing feast. * * * Mulder reached down to grab Tani's hips, then gently inserted his manly extension into her warm, inviting interior. Tani squealed with pleasure as she felt him entering her drawing room, dropping in ever so slowly to say hello. Mulder thrust his third leg in fully into Tani's chamber, and was rewarded with a quick "Ooh" from Tani. From her vantage point, his appendage seemed a mile long, like a telephone pole, like a mighty douglas fir - only with no leaves. Mulder began the rhythmic strokes, and Tani reached up to brace herself on his shoulders. Together, they rocked back and forth, gently at first, like a leaf swaying in the wind. They then they progressed into long steady strokes, like waves in the ocean. Then the rocking intensified as they began wheezing and puffing, like an engine cylinder with a blown gasket. After a few minutes in the prone position, they shifted around. Mulder climbed off of Tani and sat down on the couch, and she got up and maneuvered herself onto his lap. She parted her legs and sat herself down on the saluting flagpole, feeling it climb inside her like a hand digging inside a nearly empty pickle jar. Gently, Tani began the vertical motion, balancing herself with her hands on Mulder's shoulders. The stroke was smooth and straight at first, as she rode him like a bicycle pump. Then the stroke turned into a rocking motion back and forth, as she rode him like a cradle. Then the ride became wilder, as her mount turned into a bucking bronco. A little later, the strokes sped up even faster, and she rode him like a jackhammer. Finding herself on the ride of her life, Tani intensified her grip on Mulder's shoulders, as he grabbed her derriere and propelled her up and down the elevator shaft. She pulled him closer to her, embracing him around his neck, burying Mulder's face in her heaving breasts. Mulder nearly suffocated from the lack of oxygen, but that didn't keep him from bouncing Tani up and down in his lap. The momentum kept building, as Tani bounced up higher and higher, faster and faster, like a kid on a trampoline. Tani and Mulder panted and breathed in gasping spurts, as their complete attention and energy focused on the rocking ride. Tani's passions drove her to the point of insanity, fanning her flames of ecstasy. She felt a maddeningly intense fit of pleasure, driving her to the edge of consciousness, until she felt she could take no more. Mulder likewise felt the pleasure building up in his manly center, welling up into a bomb, a rocket, an orbital booster ready to launch off into space at any moment. It was all he could do to keep his attention focused on Tani, as he felt his body taking over, obeying only his most basic animal instincts. He felt the tension building up within him, like a ripe melon about to erupt, like a water balloon filled to the point of bursting, like a link sausage being squeezed by a steam roller. Then, in an intense fit of madness, their passions exploded. Stars went off in Tani's head, as she was sent spiraling up into a geosynchronous orbit. She marveled at the stars and galaxies roaming about, as she gasped to recover her senses. Mulder wrenched a couple of times, releasing his pent-up juices into Tani's love canal. He felt his passion rising up into Tani's embrace, as intense pleasure swelled throughout his body like a shot of 200-proof vodka. He lurched a couple of more times, then sank back on the couch. He felt both fulfilled and spent at the same time, like a lemon with all its juices squeezed out. He took a deep breath, as Tani sighed and sank her face into his chest. * * * Scully rolled onto her back, drawing Lemma closer to her. She grabbed Lemma's hand and pulled it up to her chest, guiding it around her left breast and onto her nipple. She then led Lemma's forefinger into circles around the nipple, now as erect and straight as a London palace guard. She then pulled Lemma's other hand up to her mouth and kissed it gently, sucking on each individual finger in turn. Lemma crawled up next to Scully, and bent her head forward to lock her lips with Scully's. Their mouths opened, and Lemma's tongue met Scully's, exchanging greetings in the doorway. The tongues visited Scully's house, exploring every nook and cranny, and did the same with Lemma's. The tongues danced together, intertwined, forming a ribbon, a braid, then a pretzel. Lemma finally unlocked her lips from Scully's, and slithered back down on the bed. She climbed atop Scully's legs, as Scully spread her thighs wide apart. Lemma buried her face beneath Scully's equator, and only her soft brown hair remained visible from Scully's vantage point. Lemma explored Scully's love channel as Scully had done with hers. She gently strolled around the neighborhood, approaching the front yard carefully and deliberately. She crept up ever so slowly to the front door, gently caressing the doorway. She then parted the doors aside, and threw herself headfirst into the lobby. She buried herself in the warmth and sweetness of Scully's honeybucket, visiting every microinch of her moist and flavorful fruit basket. She pulled Scully's legs up above her shoulders as she burrowed her face and tongue further and further into Scully's love box. Lemma felt Scully rocking back and forth as she reeled from the passion of Lemma's licks. She moaned out in pleasure, and gently ran her fingers through Lemma's hair. She alternately tightened and released her muscles as Lemma teased her and toyed with her pleasure center, like a little girl playing 'keep-away' with a puppy. Eventually, the passion inside Scully began to build, as the heat and tension around her love zone began to mount. The tension turned into madness, then into delirium, as the fit of passion overcame her and pulsated through every inch of her body. Scully felt her body form goose bumps from the fits of pleasure, her every nerve ending saturated by an intense ray of blinding ecstasy. Finally, she exploded in a cataclysmic firework of a climax, a coda fortissimo, her entire body convulsing in the aftermath. It seemed to take Scully forever to recover from the sensory overload. She paused to take a deep breath, then noticed Lemma scooting up next to her with a big grin on her face. Lying there and stroking Lemma's hair, Scully spoke. "Well, Lemma, I think I finally believe in aliens - because this night with you was really out of this world!" THE END (Hey, I warned you about this! :^) -- Steven Han - shan@nyx.cs.du.edu - finger for PGP key Hello, world!