96/150: Capt. Kirk & The Holy Grail - A Usenet Parody in one act Name: Omega Man #1 @5282 Date: Sat Oct 19 13:01:11 1991 From: Klingon Empire (Austin/Rio Grande Valley, Texas) From: kasprj@operators.its.rpi.edu (Jim Kasprzak) Subject: A brief Trek parody Organization: The Big Wedge This little bit of insanity crept into my brain a few days ago and got a few chuckles from local Star Trek fans, so I figured I'd repost it here. The "Bridge Scene", from STAR TREK V.V: CAPTAIN KIRK AND THE HOLY GRAIL... OLD MAN: Stop! He who would cross the Bridge Of Death, must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. What... is your name? KIRK: Captain James T. Kirk, of the United Star Ship Enterprise. OLD MAN: What... is your quest? KIRK: To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before! OLD MAN: What... is your favorite color? KIRK: Green. OLD MAN: Pass... REDSHIRT: That's _easy_! OLD MAN: Halt! What... is your name? REDSHIRT: Crewman Smith. OLD MAN: What... is your quest? REDSHIRT [in a bored voice]: To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. OLD MAN: What... is the corrosive ingredient in Romulan Ale? REDSHIRT: Um... ah... I don't know - AIIIIIIIGGGHHH! SPOCK: Fascinating. OLD MAN: Halt! What... is your name? SPOCK: Spock. OLD MAN: What... is your quest? SPOCK: To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before. OLD MAN: What... is the phase velocity of an oscillating subspace transmission? SPOCK: Amplitude modulated or frequency modulated? OLD MAN: I don't know! AIIIIIIGGGHHH! * * * That's all that I felt inspired to write. Please don't flame me about exact wording, I don't watch Trek or Python every day. If anyone feels like writing more "Captain Kirk and the Holy Grail" scenes, go right ahead. ---------------------------------------------------------------- __ Live from Capitaland, heart of the Empire State... ___/ | Jim Kasprzak, computer operator @ RPI, Troy, NY, USA /____ *| Disclaimer: RPI pays me to work, not to think. \_| "A spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission" -Rush ==== e-mail: kasprj@rpi.edu or kasprzak@mts.rpi.edu Read:(1-150,^96),? :