[]The Brady Bunch[] by Dick Cheese and Stu The Brady Bunch was a really great tv show in the swinging 70's. Yet, its ramifications have been sorely mis- calculated. For example, how many of you know that the episode in which Marsha didn't want to go to school was the main influence upon the outcome of the 1980 Presidental Election? And how many of you still remember the day in 1977 in which tree houses above 30' were outlawed after the airing of the episode in which Bobby fell from a perilous climb? Well, the Brady Bunch has had such a profound influence upon Stu and me that we wish to do it justice in this G file. Oh yea, for your information, this system is being run in an architecht's den that was converted to a psychedelic 'pad'. The decision to do this was result of the rerun of the episode in which Greg converted Mike's den into his own swingin' crash pad. One of our favorite episodes is the one in which Bobby tries to win some sort of prize, and eventually gets on the hip program "Kartoon King!" This is an avant-gard show, for it really lets us probe the inner recesses of Bobby Brady's psyche. We like the scene in which the fat kid, like the slovenly pig he is, eats the ice cream first, and we are left with a shot of a crushed and humiliated Bobby with ice cream on his nose. Hilarous! The scene could have been inproved, says Stu, if Kartoon King said some- thing to Bobby like, "Hey kid. Looks like your parents got stuck with a 2 timing jerk and a 3 time loser for a son!" Then two strongarms would clap his ears and dump sludge down the seat of his pants. Dick Cheese and Stu now present some opinions on various episodes of The Brady Bunch: 1] The episode in which Greg falls in love with his teacher. Dick: Loved it! But the teacher should have had REAL big tits! Stu: A S&M scene would have made it a perfect show! 2] The episode that has Cindy thinking she was going to be the new Shirley Temple. Dick: Super! I wouldn't change a thing! Stu: And how! 3] The episode in which Marsha holds a slumber party. Dick: A good show, but lacking one particular element. The element was realism. The itching powder gag was a good concept, but it never really got off the ground. This episode must have been written during a writers strike. Stu: I agree, but a lesbian scene would have been nice. 4] The episode in which Bobby had a greater pull-up ratio than Greg, so Greg became the first white slave. Dick: The original "underdog" story. Bobby, being the "underdog" and Greg being the "heavy". Rocky, The Karate Kid, Vision Quest are all dispace- ments of this superb story. Stu: It had me cheering, but I think that if Bobby did soooo many pull-ups, his forearms should have looked like Popey's in the next episode. 5] The show which had the Brady's become a musical group. Dick: This one had me dancing in my seat! The Brady's were nothing short of superb! I call them the Jackson's of the 70's! Stu: The music community lost a great talent when the Brady kids stuck with tv, and eventually saw their carreers go down the toilet. 6] The show in which the Brady family took a family trip to the Grand Canyon. Dick: The best miniseries I've ever seen, except the reason this one didn't win the Emmy was the scene in which Bobby and Cindy gave baked beans to a little indian lad in a flashlight. Let's be serious folks, how many of you would eat baked beans out of a flashlight. You know the acid residue woudl have given the boy some sort of gastric disorders. Poor planning on behalf of the writers guild. One could easily mistake this scene for Bobby and Cindy just trying to harm the minority member. Some might mistake this for a racial slur. Thought that the scene in which they all tied articles of clothing together to get the keys was very novel! Stu: I agree, but I don't think you have really scratched the surface on Alice's role in this show. Alice, off camera, made a sick joke in which she called the indian boy a "sad excuse for the human." Perhaps this is the answer to the great mystery: Why was Ann B. Davis removed from the show mid-season and to be replaced with a robot, never to be seen again. The Alice/Sam the butcher motif creeps up here. This will be discussed in part //... Dick Cheese Stu