Aidan's Muse

    Mt. Dunn blossomed brighter in fall than in spring.  Vibrant reds and
oranges burned the countryside for about a month each year.  Aidan came to
the land each year to escape his job.  Work in a the Lexington county
office threatened to drown the aspiring writer.  Once a year he retreated
to the family cabin to sort out his thoughts and hammer another fistfull
of pages.
    He liked nature but loved the solitude more.  This year he broke the
silent habit by the edition of a silent partner, Bear, a black
chow/dobberman mix.  She looked more like a barrel chested lab.  He hadn't
planned on her company but family had a way of messing up any plans he
made.
    "I can't take care of Bear anymore, Aidan."    He nodded.  "I told you
the trailer was too small for a dog, sis."
    "It's way too small," said Chris, "Especially with the new baby.  And
I'm worried she might hurt him."    Aidan nodded.  "If you want me to take
her, I will."  I wish you would ask me direct, sis.
    "Would you?"  Chris's eyes lit up.
    "Sure."  Aidan put his feet on the coffee table.  "I had
wanted her in the beginning.  Shit, sis.  It was I that named her.
Remember?"
    "Than can you take her this evening?"
    Aidan shrugged.  "I guess so."
    "Good," she said.  "Because she's in the car."
    Aidan jumped up.  "You left her in the car?!" He ran to the door.
"It's eighty-five degrees outside!"
    "I cracked the window." said Chris, following him.
    "Yeah, but you've been here an hour!" he shouted, as reached the car.
Quickly he opened the door.  A large black dog stumbled out the car,
panting heavily.  Aidan scooped her up in his arms and carried her into
the house to cool air.
    He filled a bowl full of cool water for her then turned to his sister.
 "You could've killed her like that, Chris.  What in the hell were you
thinking?"
    "I cracked the window."    Aidan shook his head.  No hope for you,
sis.  Bear gulped down the whole bowl of water.  "I'll give you more in a
few minutes, Bear" he said, patting her on the head.
    "I've got to go, Aidan."
    He glared at her.
        "And you don't have to worry about her making a mess on the floor.
 She isn't in heat anymore.  She's not dripping."
        "You means she's not discharging?"
        "Uh-huh," Chris answered.  "So you don't have worry about any of
the strays around here getting her pregnant."
        Aidan shook his head.  "When a dog goes in heat, Chris, it isn't
over just because she stops `dripping'.  Now's when she's most---"
        She cut him off.  "Okay whatever, bye.  Thanks Aidan."

     And so Aidan had a pet.  He saw no reason not to take her to Mt.
Dunn.  Her barks would punctuate his silence.  The extra company would be
nice too.  He wouldn't have to just talk to his computer.
        The cabin was a good mile's walk from the road.  He parked his
sedan and grabbed his pack in one hand and his laptop in the other.  Bear
followed behind for a moment then raced off ahead of him.  Aidan had to
call her ever half a minute or so.
    "I should've brought a leash." he sighed.  He would've
brought one had he seen the need.  The nearest neighbor was four miles
away.  This wasn;t the city where leash laws were required. He didn't
bring a pooper scooper either.  Dog crap was biodegrable.  What was the
problem in the country?
     Despite the cool weather, Aidan dripped with sweat by the time he
reached the cabin.  "I've got to get into better shape," he said, fumbling
with the keys.  Bear raced in as he opened the door.  The cabin was dank
and dark.  He fumbled with the light switch, wondering why the light
wouldn't come on before remembering that the only power the cabin had was
from a bank of car batteries and a gas powered generator.
    "Batteries must be dead." he sighed, setting his stuff down in the
dark.  "I bet Robbie's been here."  His brother usually left the cupboards
empty and the power drained.
    Aidan went to the kitchen.  The drawers were in their usual disaary
after Robbie's visit.  Aidan had to search five minutes for a flashlight.
He turned it on.  "It still works.  I don't believe it."
    "I'll get gas tomorrow," he sighed.  It took him another five minutes
just to find the matches.  During this whole time Bear had used the
"outdoor facilities" and then settled in for a nap on the bearksin rug in
the main room.
    Aidan lit an oil lamp.  There was only a milimeter or two of oil left
in the bottom.  He found no refills.  There were no candles either.
Robbie had used all those too.  He looked at his watch.  It was too late
in the day to go back to town.
        "I guess I'll have to light this place with the fireplace," he
sighed.  "Hope you don't mind the heat, Bear."  I'll go get supplies
tomorrow.  He then began working on a fire.  Dead leaves made good
starter.  He piled on dried twigss and few larger branches.  With a match,
the leaves took on brighters reds and oranges then curled black.  The
twigs burned.  Larger sticks were piled on and then finally a log.  He
then made an effort to unpack.  When all was finished, the sun had gone
down.
    Bear was up and exploring the cabin, going from room to room,
memorizing the scent of every wall and piece of furniture.  Aidan thought
it was odd she did not do that the first time she entered the house.
Maybe she did whule he was busy.  He looked down at the bearskin rug.  It
looked so soft and comfortable.  Aidan yanwed.
    "Go to write." he said, stretching.  "Then make dinner."
    He opened up his laptop computer.  The screen flashed white as he
turned it on.  The machine went through its
start up and ten seconds later, asked for a password.
    "W'er'dna." he whispered.  Bear cocked her head, listening to the key
clicks.  Aidan pulled up his word processor and opened chapter ten of
_Hellwarren_.  He had to write the scene in which he planned Cheyana to
fall in love with Dark Horse.  How could he change the mood to one of love
when the Winterkeep of the Wolf-Cynn had been razed and most of the tribe
slain?  The words would not come.  Aidan just stared at the blinking
cursor.  Minutes passed.  He yawned, typed a sentence, then deleted it.
        "Damn it." he huffed.  Bear, now curled up on the rug, looked up
in.  "I can't think." Aidan said.  Bear sat up and dog smiled, her jaw
open, brown eyes refelcting the firelight.
        Aidan looked at her.  "What?"
        She leaned against his knees.  Aidan smiled and began to pat her
head.  "I don't have time to play right now," he sighed.  She leaned
closer when he pulled his hand away.
He tried to type but the right words wouldn't come--and Bear wasn't making
it any easier.  The room was already too hot from the blaze in the
fireplace.  Bear yawned.
        He clicked shutdown on the screen menu.  "I'll write--" he
stretched and yawned himself, "Write later."  Aidan set his computer aside
and laid down in front of the fire.  Bear took her place beside him on the
rug.  He tried to go to sleep but could not.  Cheyana's situation would
not leave his head.  And the fire was too hot.  Aidan stripped off his
smelly tee-shirt and jeans.
        The air felt much cooler as he lay there sleepy and spread eagled
on the bearskin.  Write later, he thought and closed his eyes.  A cold
nose in his arm pit startled him.  Bear wanted to know these other smells.

        "Stop it." he said, pushing her away.  Bear circled him then came
up between his legs and buried her nose in his crotch.
        Aidan jerked up and kicked her.  "No!  Bad dog!" he yelled as she
yelped and retreated into the darkened kitchen.  He could see her eyes
glowing from the firelight.
"Bad dog." he said again, and rolled over feeling like a shmuck.  Bear did
not come back into the room.
        I hit the dog, he thought.  She was only smelling me and I kicked
her.  Aidan remembered how his sister and her husband treated the dog.
They were always hitting Bear for going in the trash or getting in front
of the television.  Robbie was no better.  And both his brother and his
sister hit their children way too much.  I'm no better than them, he
thought.
        "C'mere Bear." he called.  She came halfway into the room then
crouched.  "I'm sorry girl."
        She whined.
        "I'm sorry girl."
        She wagged her tail but came no closer.
        Aidan rolled over and went to sleep, still feeling like a shmuck.

        He awoke once because of the heat.  Bear had joined him while he
napped.  She slept curled against him, her nose near his crotch and her
rump in his face.  Aidan could smell her musk.  He moved his head away.
"So is that what male dogs like?" he whispered.  He thought of how it
compared to the pungeant scent of his last girlfriend.   Their smells were
similiar and he chuckled to himself thinking that if Tracy had smelled
like Bear, he wouldn't have mind sixty-ninening with her so much.  God,
you're a freak, he then thought, closing his eyes.  He didn't want to wake
until sunrise or just a little before.
        The second time he awoke from a dream of tender sex with a
beautiful woman.  He remembered running his fingers through her closley
cropped hair.  He remembered the wonderful smell of her sex, of burying
his face in her--and her scent lingered--and her scent was Bear's.
        My animal instincts, he told himself.  Pheremones.  And he could
still smell those pheremones.  Bear lay on her side, curled enough so the
her nose was close to Aidan's crotch.  He could feel her hot breath on his
erection, could feel himself wanting but stopping himself.
        "Pheremones," he said.  Bear's nose touched his cock and then he
felt her tongue lapping at him.  He rolled on his back but the tongue
followed and felt so good--so different then a blow.  With one lick
carressed from his balls to his glans, tasting his pre-come.
        Aidan tried to lay back, tried to just lay still but he had to
take some part in this no matter how he wanted to remain blameless.  If I
just let then I've done nothing wrong, he reasoned.  She woke me up in my
sleep.  And still he could not lay back like he did with Tracy.
        Aidan rolled back on his side so Bear could better do what she was
doing and so he could take in her smell again.
He put his face between her thighs.  Her belly burned warmer against his
cheeks than any other lover.  Then he took his first tentative taste.  The
fur around her swollen vulva tasted brackish but her smell drew him
deeper.  He parted her puffy black lips with his fingertips and tasted her
again.  It wa far sweeter than he expected.  So began a feast.  Bear
twitched and rocked her hips.  Together in their circle they were like a
giant yin and yang.  Polar opposites, joined as one, male, female, man,
and animal. And Aidan realized that they were really not all that
different.  Not at the moment of passion.  Together, they were one.
        Their lovemaking went on late into the night.  Aidan held her at
last, letting his arms be the tie that she would've had had he been a dog.
 An embrace would have to suffice.  Then he let her go and went out to
watch the sunrise alone.  She did not follow, content to sleep in front of
the dying embers.
        Aidan looked at the colors expecting to be somehow made brighter
by his realization.  They were the same.  It was not the world that had
changed but him.  There was still all the guilt for what he had done to be
dealt with.  For now he felt like writing.
        The words came reluctantly but once they began they did not stop
until Cheyana had seduced her forbidden lover.  After thier act there came
shame, for they had violated the taboo.  She was his adopted sister and
through their lust they found thier love.  Now they had a quest to break
their bonds of familiy so they could be together without scorn.  That was
the direction the book would go.
        Bear came and nudged Aidan away from his writing.   It was then
that he knew.  He too had a journey.