ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ MOO-COW â-10 ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ Released By The Office Of The High Preest of MOO Pfflqfoide Q Gehqo Proclamation â-10 On The Qabbalistic Significance Of Elvis Aron Presley And The Second Coming Of Jesus Christ, Saviour-On-A-Stick This is the tenth in the MOO-COW series of revelations and proclamations from the Office of the High Preest of MOO, Pfflqfoide Q Gehqo, and it concerns a matter of pressing importance to us all, namely the hypostasis of the Kabbalistic essense of Elvis. Part One: Cabala, What The Hell Is It? Qabalah is the Hebrew word for "tradition", and it has come to mean the Mystical tradition of the Jews, which is heavily involved, rather complex, and extremely useful to Mystics who want to prove something equal to something else if they can't figure out why it should be. Notwithstanding this, it's a really cool thing. Now the Kabalah, like anything, has a theoretical level and a practical level. The theoretical level has much to do with the En Sof, and the Sefiroth,and all sorts of other words like that, and makes for entertaining reading,especially for a mathematician, who generally can't fathom why 0=2. The practical level is much to do with words and letters and stuff. It seems that the Hebrew alphabet was around with God in the beginning,when She did all that creating of the Heavens and the Earth and all those useful things we live in, and the alphabet got assigned numbers, and essences, and eventually got formed into the Torah (all this makes for fascinating reading when explained by someone deeply trained in the social politics of alphabets). Anyway, the point is this: special magick stuff can be done using the Cabbalistic significances of Hebrew Letters. This is part of the Practical side. But what has this to do with Elvis? Part Two: The Messiah And Elvis Much has been devoted to comparisons of Jesus and Elvis. You know the sort of thing... Jesus came from a Land of Grace, while Elvis lived in Graceland. Jesus rose from the dead and was seen by zillions of people all over the place (the Pentecost), while Elvis may or may not have died, and has been seen in zillions of 7-11s (the PennyCost). Most of this appears on the surface to be dalderbash, and permutations thereof, but in fact, it is a reasonable comparison,especially in light of modern Qablah. Why does the Hebrew alphabet get special treatment in the Eyes of God? Well, no special reason except that it was the language of the time when that particular bit of highly-important-stuff was going on, back about 700BC. Of course, then it was claimed that all the Words of God were in Hebrew, since those were the Primordial Letters. And other such outrageous claims. Not that there's anything wrong with "Outrageous Claims"... Certainly that's the label given to anything printed in the Weekly World GNUs, the National Enquirer, and other such sources of Elvis data, the significance of which will shortly become, if not obvious, at least a little less convoluted than it is right at the moment, not entirely unlike this sentence. Speaking of sentences,some of them have been written in Arabic, such as those in the Koran. Now Islamic knowledgeables say that Arabic is the only language of God (i.e. Allah,Blessed Be His Nose), and Al Qur'an is only accurately the Words of God if written in Arabic. Odd, for a God who allegedly only speaks Hebrew. The fact of the matter is, God is everywhere, and EVERY Word is, by definition, the Word of God, on account of God Owns Everything, and has a Deed to prove it. Not that Words and Deeds can really be compared, but there you go. The point is, no language is favoured, and the Cablah can, in theory, be applied to any old language at all, including English. This means that, since the Land of Grace and Graceland have a nice correlation in English, they must be closely connected in the Eyes of God, Nose of Allah, Toes of Jehovah, and so forth. And much else... Part Three: Elvis Lives One thing worthy of note is that the Hebrew for "Messiah" and for "Serpent" have the same Kabblistic number attached to them (counting the numbers assigned to each letter, you see)... This means that the essence of each one is supposedly the same, since the Primordial Alphabet Soup has combined in the same Essence in each one. So in some medieval images, Christ is portrayed as a Snake-On-A-Stick: a serpent draped over the Cross. But the SERPENT was EVIL, right? Well, it certainly had a rough time of it in the Garden of Eden after Jah had figured out what was going down the pipes with this apple nonsense (the Golden Apple of Discord and all that). So CHRIST is identified with something supposedly EVIL. Well, in ENGLISH, ELVIS and EVILS have the same letter combinations TOO. Well how about that? Plus which, we can see the ELVIS and LIVES thing going on,too, giving us the Hidden Mystical Message that Elvis is the bringer of life, as was Jesus. Could anything be more obvious? How anyone can deny that Elvis Presley was the Second Coming of the Saviour On A Stick is beyond me. But wait! There's more! Now one of the real big things in Jewish Mysticism is the T tragrammaton,the four-letter Name O' God, YHVH (Yod, He, Vau, He). That's Yahweh, Jehovah,and a number of other things, because the Jews of the time disdained vowels. Now you add the letter Shin in the middle, you get YHShVH, Joshuah or Yeheshuah,which got Romanized into "Jesus". It's symbolic, you see, of the Holy Spirit (Shin, which looks like a little fire) being inserted into the material world (the four elements, natch). It's the adding of that one letter into the name that says the spirit of the lord is being inserted into the world. So what about Elvis? Any letters being stuck in HIS name from something else? No, but check THIS out... Elvis Aron Presley's middle name is Aron (in case you hadn't guessed). Now on his "Tombstone" it's spelled Aaron, with TWO A's... The insertion of an A. On the other hand, it CAME from "Garon", which was the name of his dead identical twin brother, Garon (this is true, look it up). So we have a G going away when he's born, and an A coming in after his death. Now back to the Hebews. The Hebrew G is Gimmel, which also means Camel (Elvis's birth was supposedly accompanied by the spontaneous combusion of several camels in the Middle East, which confused many a Bedouin). But the ATTRIBUTIONS of Gimmel are with the Priestess in the Tarot, thus the Shekhinah, which is the female part of God, and also the "manifestation of God". Also, in English, G is the 7th letter of the Alphabet, and 7 is a number that pops up a whole heap in descriptions of the Day of Judgement, when God fools around manifesting a lot. Thus, the G going away means that Elvis has persuaded God to not have a Day of Judgement just now,saving us from Damnation. Hallelujah! The Hebrew A is an Aleph, which is connected with the Pure Fool, like as in the Tarot, and heaps of other things, such as the element called Air, whose symbol looks peculiarly like an A itself, with a line across the bottom: a triangle cut into two bits, as it is in the Eye-In-Pyramid design. In fact, this identifies the return of the Sirian Illuminati as the cause of Elvis's death. He gave his life, as Jesus did, not so that we would be delivered from damnation or any such thing, but so that his mind, his software, could be dumped into the Sirian computer, called VALIS, and described by Philip K. Dick in his "novel" of that name, PUBLISHED THE YEAR AFTER ELVIS'S "DEATH". In fact, as you can see, VALIS permutes into ALVIS, which is ELVIS with an A. This is another manifestation of the "Arrival of the letter A" phenomenon. In fact, as you can see, VALIS permutes into ALVIS, which is ELVIS with an A. This is another manifestation of the "Arrival of the letter A" phenomenon. Elvis, but accepting the arrival of the A, became VALIS, the Sirian Illuminati's substation which they use to contact WOMBAT here on Earth. But that's another point entirely. Part Four: Elvis Now So Elvis may have been the Second Coming of Jesus, our Saviour On A Stick,and he may have saved us from the Days of Wrath, but what do we do about it NOW? After all, now that Elvis is inside Valis, there must be something to be done to contact him, perhaps through WOMBAT? Well, in fact there is. Consider: 1) Elvis also permuted to Levis. Anyone wearing Levis Jeans belongs to the Neo-Tribe of Levis, as referred to in the Book Of Revelations, Gecko-Remix, which describes the Judgement that Elvis saved us from. By wearing these jeans, you express your gratitude to Elvis. Trust us, WOMBAT knows what you're wearing, and so does Valis. 2) Valis will no longer permute to Evils as Elvis did (this is symbolic of the fact that Elvis saved us from our Evils, and they no longer Xist). The closest to this is Avils, which is close to Anvils. The addition of the "n" refers us to the Greek, where "n" is "nu" (compare "new" and "gnu"). So in the NU aeon,we can contact Valis by using Anvils, but only if we abandon the ways of MOO and embrace the GNU testament. 3) Jesus transubstantiates in Bread and Wine because this was his last meal. Elvis's last meal, typically for him, was a deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwich and some drugs (the alleged cause of his "death"). You too can commune with Elvis by the ritual eating of peanut butter and banana sandwiches and the taking of drugs. The currently proper ritual for MOOists communing with VALIS through WOMBAT, reaching the manifestation of Elvis, and thus Jesus, is this. First,abandon MOOism as preached in the Book of MOO, and accept the GNU testament. While wearing Levis jeans, take some drugs and eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich whilst listening simultaneously to the Anvil Chorus and any of Elvis's Greatest Hits. The resulting neurological backwash will put you in immediate psychic contact with Our Saviour In Siris (blessed be his belly) through WOMBAT and VALIS. [ ( ) 1355670812.1273 Pffflqoide Q Gehqo ] Love Is The Thing, Something Something Something Do What Thou Something Something Something Something