1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask.... 2 ************************* INSTALLED: 11 JAN 86 ********************** 3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator 4 ************************************************************ 5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION 6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM. 7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned 8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public. 9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is 10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which 11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be 12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved) 13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the 14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the 15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace 16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up. 17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system. 18 **************************************************************** 19 20 ************************************************** 21 20 22 19 : 23 18 : 24 17 : 25 16 ::: : 26 15 : :::: ::: 27 14 ::::::::: :::: 28 13 ::::::::: ::::: : 29 12 : : ::::::::: :::::: : 30 11 :: ::::::::::::::::::: : : 31 10 :: ::::::::::::::::::: : ::: 32 09 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 33 08 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 34 07 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 35 06 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 36 05 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 37 04 : :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 38 03 ::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 39 02 : :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 40 01 : : :: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 41 JFMAMJJASONDJFMAMJJASONDJFMAMJJASONDJFMAMJJASOND 42 1982 1983 1984 1985 43 44 Usage graph for BWMS. The numbers at the left 45 are the number of disks used for the month 46 indicated at the bottom. 47 ***************** CISTOP MIKEY ****************** 48 49 Strephon kissed me in the spring, 50 Robin in the fall, 51 But Colin only looked at me 52 And never kissed at all. 53 Strephon's kiss was lost in jest, 54 Robin's lost in play, 55 But the kiss in Colin's eyes 56 Haunts me night and day. 57 --Sara Teasdale 58 THE ARROW AND THE SONG 59 60 I shot an arrow into the air, 61 It fell to earth, I know not where; 62 For, so swiftly it flew, the sight 63 Could not follow it in its flight. 64 65 I breathed a song into the air, 66 It fell to earth, I know not where; 67 For who has sight so keen and strong, 68 That it can follow the flight of song? 69 70 Long, long afterward, in an oak 71 I found the arrow, still unbroke; 72 And the song, from beginning to end, 73 I found again in the heart of a friend. 74 75 --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 76 77 ______________________________________________________ 78 simply beautiful..... 79 80 FMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFMFM 81 The story shall continue soon... 82 FMFMFMFMFMFM Fable Master FMFMFMFMFMFM 83 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 84 From Prometheus; Objected 85 A slight objection to the title above, fables are difficult enough to find, 86 let alone master. Though I encourage you to try, it does seem impossible. 87 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 88 89 all net agents like to consider themselves as intelligent, inteellectual, 90 well-trained, and above everything else, better than the rest of us. 91 their sneers at spelling and how we are taking their spelling with us and into 92 the gutter, is only an example. others can be cited, but that would get bloody 93 and i fear i will stain a few shirts and ties as it is. 94 once you only had to snap nets codes to enter it. to do that you went down to 95 the Library, central branch, and read three books. like ian did once. 96 now if you break the code, you are an imposter. well, knock one up for an 97 imposter who has made net level four obsolete, without officially knowing it. 98 and if i thought any of you had it in you, i would hope you'd feel sorry. 99 100 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 101 This is true. (By the way, there is a key on most keyboards that says "shift" 102 and if you hold it down while pressing a letter key it will echo a capital 103 letter. LIKE THIS. Try it, you like it. 104 This code stuff is the result of one Net Operative who likes games, but has 105 the consistency of abused J-ELLO. (Lime flavor). Heis an unselfidentified 106 particle of flotsam swaying perpetually in a vascillating sea of self inflicted 107 indifference. His self esteem was lost in a flood which destroyed his childhood 108 home, and his memories of his mother, hence he seeks acceptance from others 109 He masturbates several times a day, while envisioning,fantisising, sexual 110 intercourse with women he has not the courage to speak to. He is fat and ugly. 111 Give him a break. Don't feel sorry for him. If you have a sister you don't 112 like, introduce them. He really isn't a BAD guy. 113 ###########WHAT A SWEETHEART################################################ 114 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ 115 This one came to me while I was trying to get somebody on the phone the other night. Granted, I exaggerated for 116 effect, but hasn't anybody else felt the same way in the same situation sometimes? 117 P.S. What do you think of the experimental format? I doubt you'll be seeing a whole lot of it. 118 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 119 Time: 10:14 AM 120 Phone: "Beep... beep... beep..." 121 Me: What is this? I told her I'd call on my morning break. Who the hell would she be talking to at this hour? 122 Nuts. Gotta get back to work. 123 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 124 Time: 11:56 AM 125 Phone: "Beep... beep... beep..." 126 Me: Still? For crying out loud! Who would she be talking to for two whole hours? Every day she tells me to call 127 and I call but how can I get through if the thing's busy all the time? Now I'll have to wait 'til I get back from 128 lunch. Wish I had time to stop by. 129 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 130 Time: 12:46 PM 131 Phone: "Beep... beep.. beep..." 132 Me: Son of a B! Damn. Maybe something's wrong. I'll call Mrs. Price next door and see if she'll check. 133 Phone: "Brrr... Brrr... *click* Hello?" 134 Me: "Hello, Mrs. Price? This is Dave, your neighbor. I've been trying to call my wife all morning and the phone's 135 been busy. I was just wondering if you'd just take a look for me and see if everything's all right." 136 Phone: "Certainly, I'll... Wait a minute. I can see her from my window. She's sitting in the kitchen, talking on 137 the phone. Everything look's fine from here." 138 Me: Sigh. "Thank you very much." 139 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 140 Time: 2:04 PM 141 Phone: "Beep... beep... beep..." 142 Me: Goddammit! Who the hell's she talking to? She's there alone all day long... alone... Maybe she's seeing 143 somebody behind my back. Maybe that kid that delivers groceries, 19 years old and 180 pounds of solid tanned muscle! Or 144 maybe that damn TV repair man! She mentioned something about him coming over today to fix the horizontal hold. Maybe 145 that ain't all he's fixing. Maybe she left the phone off the hook so as not to be disturbed. I can't leave, and now I 146 gotta go through the rest of the day thinking about that! S**T! 147 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 148 Time: 4:51 PM 149 Phone: "Brrr... Brrr... Brrr..." 150 Me: That's fifteen rings. She's not there. I knew it! I'll kill her! I'm going to go home, get my gun, and blow 151 her goddamn brains out! And that Goddamn TV man. Or the delivery boy. Hell, I'll waste 'em both, just to be sure! And 152 that cheap, no good, dirty, lousy sl- 153 Phone: "*click* Hello?" 154 Me: "Uhhh... H-h-h-hello?" 155 Phone: "Dave! Oh, my god, I just realized! Oh, I'm so sorry! My mother called this morning, saying she was coming 156 to visit for a week. I know how well the two of you get along, and I tried to talk her out of it. It's been such a long 157 time since I talked to her and our conversation kept getting off the subject but after six hours I convinced her that 158 it really wasn't a good time to come. I really wanted her to visit but I knew it would drive you crazy. I'm sorry I 159 took so long to answer but I was in the back of the house vacuuming and couldn't hear the bell." 160 Me: "Uh... uh..." 161 Phone: "What's the matter, dear? You sound funny." 162 Me: "Ohhhh... nothing. Nothing at all. I was just worried 'cause I couldn't reach you." 163 Phone: "You're sweet. Will you be home soon?" 164 Me: "Right away. They left me to lock up but I thought I'd call first." 165 Phone: "Okay, dear. I'm fixing your favorite tonight. Hurry home. I love you." 166 Me: "I love you too." 167 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 168 Time: 8:58 AM (the next morning.) 169 My boss: "Dave. You were here after I left. Do you have any idea who ripped the phone in my office out of the wall 170 last night?" 171 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 172 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# J.D. SILVERMAN $#$#$#$#$#$ 173 174 13131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313 175 Tilean: Calm down. Tell the WHOLE story and shall relay accordingly. You 176 have stated old policies. Don't push, be patient. Above all, recheck your 177 views objectively. 178 13131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313 179 180 Oh, Silverman, you DO have a sense of humor. Why did you waste your talent on 181 a horror story in the first place? Not only was the above story oh-so true, 182 but it conveyed a story with an unusual point of view, which is refreshing 183 indeed. Before I slobber all over you and you get a big head, just remember 184 that you've also proven that you can 185 write just-ok stuff. But stay funny... humor is a very elusive thing and it's 186 a real gift when you can do it..... 187 188 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ TSSC @@@@@@@@@@ 189 190 /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 191 It's always amazed me how unsophisticated bulletin boards such as this are as 192 popular as newer ones with multiple message bases and download file areas. 193 Just another example that the users make the system. 194 And in this family known as Backwater, I applaud you and every memeber who so 195 much as realizes the value of this 196 system. 197 Bravo Backwater! 198 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 199 200 nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 201 Washington, January 12 202 The new Director dropped into his new chair. Sure of the latest fashions, 203 he was comfortable in his three-piece suit. Steadily he depressed a thin 204 red key into the shiny desk surface. A monitor rose from the black top and 205 a keyboard clicked into place also. A secretary entered the office. If 206 the new Director had not been perplexed, he might have noticed. 207 "An appointment, Director." 208 "What? Oh, right." 209 "Should I go get them, Director?" 210 He depressed another slim red key and a graphic of the world showed on the 211 table top. Sattelite charts, oceanographic charts and aeronautical maps 212 were overlaid there. Pressing keys, it all disappeared in an instant. 213 "Director?" 214 "Sorry. Please send them in." 215 The monitor and keyboard submereged into the desk as the two men entered. 216 A stenographer followed and seated herself discretely near the Director. 217 She prepared her pad while the three men shook hands over the table. 218 "Sit down, gentlemen." 219 One of the men lumbered into a chair. The other sat down gingerly and made 220 himself comfortable at last. Neither knew what to say first. 221 "Now. Explain the McKane account." 222 The obeise one decided to speak first. As he started talking the other one 223 interrupted loudly. 224 "The Agency owes him. When Congress denied us part of the 1983 budget, he- 225 donated it." 226 The Director frowned. 227 "We took him into the Alps after the last engagement with the Net. The ass 228 nailed us. He threatened full ddisclosure to Congress about fiscal 1983." 229 "Disperse the McKane organization." 230 "If he sends fiscal 1983 to Congress?" 231 "Adopt Delta Five." 232 The Director was ruthless. Senators Duncan and Smithfield promised support 233 for the agency as long as Hart got information on the Presidency. President 234 Reagan was easily deceived anyway. The Agency was his. 235 236 nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 237 238 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 239 The ocean waves crash unceasingly against the rocky shore. 240 Slowly eating away at the rock as it has for eons. Creating the 241 tiny grains of sand to line the beach. 242 243 On the horizon a dark speck can be seen if one were to look 244 closly. Bobing up and down with the waves, now appearing, and 245 now gone from sight. 246 As the hours pass, slowly the speck drifts closer with the 247 currents. In time details can be made out by those with eyes 248 sharp enough to do so. A make-shift raft built from floatsome, 249 the remains of some disaster. 250 As more time passes and the raft drifts closer. Now a 251 figure can be seen laying prone on the raft partially covered, a 252 futile attempt to fight off the wind swept seas. 253 This close to shore the waves begin to break into white 254 caps, jostling the raft and its occupant. Stirring and then 255 rising as a result of the unusual activity, the figure looks up 256 to see what is happening. Confusion is apparent at first, 257 brushing the ragged mane of matted hair aside the figure finally 258 sees the nearby shore line and looks on uncomprehending of its 259 meaning. 260 Abruptly the raft strikes a submerged rock, and its 261 occupant is thrown into the water. Sputering seawater he raises 262 back up out of the water. Climbing aboard, he begins to collect 263 what remains of his few posessions into a bundle, stopping for a 264 period of time within the crudely built shelter. Then sitting 265 at the front of the raft, waits for the shore line to be closer, 266 knowing that soon he must leave this raft that has been his home 267 for these many months. Soon it will break up as it is driven 268 among the rock lined shore. 269 As the raft approaches another rock, this one quite visible 270 above the pounding surf, he dives off to the side and watches 271 quietly as his home of so many months is destroyed in a few 272 swift blows against the rocks. Struggling on-ward in the 273 crashing waves, he swims for the shore that is now quite near. 274 Twice he is nearly dashed against the rock strewn shore. 275 The third time he is not so fortunate, and the waves drive him 276 unmercifully against the large rock he is unable to avoid 277 knocking the breath from him. Unable to breath, unable to move, 278 he hangs against the bracken covered rock. Again the sea 279 crashes around him, driving him once again against the unyelding 280 barier of the rock, causing him to this time lose his small 281 parcel of posessions. 282 Knowing that he cannot continue to stay and let the 283 crashing surf beat against him, or the next time might be the 284 last, he lets loose and allows the frothing waves to carry him 285 to the rocky shore. 286 Stumbling among the rocks, and repeatedly thrown down by 287 the crashing waves, finally he reaches the small patch of sand 288 just outside the waves reach. Turning, he reaches out, 289 beaconing for someone that does not exist. Reaching out to a 290 shadow. offering help that is not wanted or taken. So long had 291 he struggled and waited to find the safty and security of land. 292 But the passing of time has had its toll, as he calls out 293 to an imaginary friend. Begging her to pass from the sea of 294 emotional turbulance, to dare to risk the rocks to gain the 295 solid ground of land. It becomes obvious that the answer he 296 desires is not forthcoming as he collapses on the sand, great 297 sobs shake his body. The wind and rain wash away the tears and 298 carry them to the sea. No one would ever know the feelings of 299 pain and loss that are felt were it not for the gently echoing 300 sobs that filled the small cove. A small shivering figure 301 sitting alone on a remote wind swept beach. 302 303 After a period of time, a man in a gray-blue uniform 304 bareing a leather satchel approaches the raft's one time 305 occupant. Reaching into the bag, the man digs out a small brown 306 envelope and throws it down to him saying, "Here, this is for 307 you." 308 Picking up the envelope, he turns it over and then sees the 309 inscription on the front "To: Occupant". 310 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Elger EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 311 312 -------------------------------------------------------- 313 A touching tale with a weird ending. But, I am reminded 314 of a saying, perhaps it will help. Then again maybe not, 315 but here it is anyway. 316 317 If you love something, let it go. 318 If it comes back, it is your's. 319 If it does not, it never was. 320 321 Let go of your past, look to the future. In the words of 322 yet another saying. (I seem to be full of sayings don't I?) 323 324 Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. 325 -------------------------------------------------------- 326 327 Swamp Gas (words & music: Leslie Fish) 328 I was walkin' my watchman's rounds one night ]329 When up in the sky I saw this flaming light. 330 It looked like a soup bowl flyin' upside-down, 331 And a hundred people must've seen it cross our town, 332 But of all the folks questioned by the local fuzz 333 Not one of them would call it what they knew it was... 334 They said it was: 335 Chorus: Swamp gas...swamp gas...swamp gas...swamp gas... 336 Swamp gas, oh yeah, but I know what I've seen. 337 I saw the thing settle in an open yard. 338 It was glowing and shiny, kinda sleek and hard. 339 I looked it over closely so I wouldn't forget, 340 And I'm sure it was nothing that this world's made yet. 341 I woke up all the neighbors, made 'em look and see, 342 And as soon as they could talk again, they said to me: 343 "You know, that's just... 344 CHORUS 345 Then out of the saucer came this little green guy, 346 And he asked us for some water, 'cause his tanks had gone dry. 347 He lifted up a building roof, looked in, and said: "Aak!" 348 Then he saw that we were worried, so he put it back. 349 He thanked us for the water, got in, and took off, 350 And behind me, I heard someone discreetly cough, 351 "You know, that was... 352 CHORUS 353 So I called up the cops and tried to explain, 354 And while they called the Air Force, they called me insane. 355 I hauled in fifty people who had seen it too, 356 So they shut up fast and let the experts through. 357 But the answer from the experts raised a lot of smiles, 358 'Cause there's no swamp nearer three hundred miles. 359 But they called it... 360 CHORUS 361 So I went back to the cops and said it was a crime 362 That the government shoiuld lie so much of the time. 363 I guess a lot of people must've thought so too, 364 'Cause just then a bomb down in the basement blew. 365 And as half of the station up and flew away, 366 I could swear that I heard someone below me say, 367 "You know, this is... 368 CHORUS 369 Now the flying building took its time in coming down, 370 And it scattered bits and pieces over half of our town. 371 And I'm here only 'cause a tall pine tree 372 And its big soft branches made a net for me. 373 Way up there in the branches I could sway and swing, 374 And the people walking past didn't see a thing. 375 They said I was... 376 CHORUS 377 Now, why do they try to tell you that tale, 378 And tell you to believe it or go to jail? 379 Or worse, they'll send you packing to the funny farm. 380 'Cause if they can tell you lies about what happens next door, 381 Don't you know that when you ask about the latest war, 382 They'll tell you it's... 383 CHORUS 384 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 385 01010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101 386 Ian may have been a bit hard on the second one of the would-be NET agents, 387 but the first one only *thinks* he knows the code! What he thinks is the 388 code is only a *portion* of it (this leads to sections of his msgs being 389 garbage) 390 391 01010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101 392 wat a dum song 393 --------------- 394 Nick Danger was here! 395 --------------- 396 ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 397 To: Ian MacHinery 398 From: NEXUS 399 Subject: Cipher on last disk 400 Ian, ordinarily NEXUS would do nothing to prevent any discomfort you may be 401 suffering, but NEXUS believes that the situation should be clarified to others. 402 One: No member of NET sent the 22 lines, including borders, of the lower case 403 cipher on the last disk. Any complaints should be directed to UNDERGROUND, 404 not NET. Two: This message was NOT a worthless m"I'll be at the meeting", but 405 valuable information. Three: This cipher is the only message UNDERGROUND has 406 placed on the last several disks. NEXUS would prefer another means of sending 407 ciphertext, but alas, none is available. Four: Such transmissions shall be 408 kept to the barest minimum. 409 Thank you for your tolerance. NEXUS out. 410 [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ 411 ------->---------------------- 412 WHO WILL BE MY FRIEND? 413 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 414 mr. silverman you are quite a fine writer and i enjoy your stories. 415 Please keep up the good work. many thanks. 416 _________________________________________________________________________ 417 What is all this cipher talk about. Please let us other people in onit. 418 419 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. 420 I think our friend Mr. Purvis has been hiding out too long; he's showing 421 signs of mass paranoia. Not only is he on a one man vigil against Delta V, 422 he seems to be seeing communism everywhere. Maybe growing up in the 423 middle of the McCarthy scare is finally coming out in him. Watch out, he'll 424 start writing up his 'black lists'... 425 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu 426 Miss Nomer re-read the words she had scribbled on the pink message form. 427 She had written is as accurately as she could, but the roar in the background made it hard to understand the muffled v 428 ce on the other end of the phone. It looked important, and she pressed the intercom button for the comunications section 429 "Yes sir, just a couple minutes ago. It says 'EIGHTHBIT/HASSADICAWARE/TRIXASAHRS/LOOKFORBODYBLACKFE2/DELPHI', sir." 430 A few minutes later, the message was broadcast on a special NET frequency. [*=*] [*=*] DELTA FIVE [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] 431 *+**+**+**+**+**+ 432 My apologies to Net. To UNDERGROUND: If you have that much confidential 433 information, why don't you reach out and touch someONE, not someTHING? 434 *+**+**+**+**+**+ 435 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 436 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 437 !##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##! 438 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DESTROYER?? I WAS HOOKED! -NOM DE SANT 439 !##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##!##! 440 I have a better saying than the one above 120 lines or so: 441 442 If you love something, let it go. 443 If it comes back, it is yours. 444 If it does not, hunt it down and kill it. 445 446 ***************************************************************************************************************** 447 448 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 449 COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY DEEPENS 450 451 By Franklin Pervis 452 453 Most upstanding and well-informed Americans are well aware of the evil threat that pervades our land. 454 The word 'Communism' has almost become taken for granted now, the dread it should bring has almost been 455 lost to the new generations. In past weeks, I have informed the public of a menace as terrifying as the Communist 456 conspiracy to take over our way of life, Delta V. 457 My sources now tell me that Delta V has received direct payments from deep within the Kremlin. We have copies 458 of two cancelled checks, drawn on the Moscow National Bank from the account of one Vladimir Uralinianski, for 459 the sum of $200,000 US dollars each. 460 This evidence of Delta V's Communist ties confirms our knowledge that he must be tracked down and eliminated. 461 Immediately. 462 Our sources also indicate that Delta V has dealt with the following people, either secretly or in quick 463 rendezvous' across the country: 464 Miss Jean Marple. Mr. Frank Li; Mr. John Buck; Mr. Ivan Seaner; Mrs. Rose Bowles; Mr. Jack Kaughman; 465 Ms. Cicely Initaly; Mr. Delbert Johnston, Mr. Thorton Fogbottom; (continued pages 4, 5, and 6) 466 467 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 468 Tilean: The truth about your alleged code breaking is known. Shame on you for 469 entering such a message as the one above. Shame on you for telling an untruth. 470 Shame on you for not acting more mature. In other words, Shame Shame Shame! 471 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 472 NATIONAL ENQUIRER 473 Predictions for 1986 by Jean Dixon! 474 475 Cut-throat newspaper man and 1985 winner of the Yellow Journalism Award Franklin Pervis will marry Joan Collins 476 in early 1986, but an annullment will be announced the next day. Joan will give her reason as 'I was so 477 disapointed on our wedding night. It was like listening to some marketing guy. He just sat on the edge of 478 the bed telling me how good it would be!' 479 480 A young couple living in Anytown USA will win the Parants-of-the-Year award for 1985. The award will be 481 presented in New York City on March 15th, 1986. The selection committee will be quoted as saying 'Never in the 482 history of this award has a more deserving couple been our receipient. Our lucky parents have instilled good 483 American values of kindness, love, and above all honesty, in the mind of their child. We are very proud of 484 this year's winners. 485 486 1986 will also see many earthquakes, fires, wind and hail storms, hurricans, and bomb blasts that will kill 487 hundreds of nameless faceless writer-assassins who inhabit a computer hangout known as the Backwater Inn. Several 488 Backwater irregulars will only go as far as saying, 'It must have been an act of God....Or some other local 489 diety.' 490 491 The Alternate World computer system will again return to AE format, and then change during the summer of 1986. 492 The management of Alternate World will refuse comment of the latest change, except to say 'AW is NOT an AE!' 493 494 The Chicago Bears will smash the New England Patriots in the upcoming Super Bowl. Chicago coach Mike Ditka will 495 say after the game, 'I still can't believe how easy that was.' 496 497 Jim Bell, Portland Oregon area hardware hacker, will crank the speed of his liquid helium cooled Z80 to 25 mhz. 498 Unfortunately, his coolent tank will rupture, and when the liquid reaches the super-hot Z80, the entire casing 499 will explode, leveling all houses within one city block, and breaking windows as far as 5 miles away. By some 500 miracle, no one will be hurt in the explosion. Another local hacker will be overheard as saying '...hand of God.' 501 502 Also in the Portland Area, The Messenger, a BBS long besieged by locak crackers and repeated attempts of 503 sabotage by The Phone Company, will finally 504 return from the ashes like a Pheonix, with 2400 baud capability, 10 megabytes of online disk storage, and three 505 multi user capability. It will rise in popularity until it is second only to THE OMEGA QUADRANT in 506 calls per day. 507 508 Still on the computer front, Apple Computer will fire John Scully, and bring in Lee Iacoca, lured for big bucks 509 from the chairmenship of Chrysler. Lee's first computer offering will be the highly acclaimed Blackintosh, a 510 slick black box with '1 million bits of storage, and Sinclair ZX81 compatibility.' 511 512 Not to be outdone, IBM will announce the IBM PCjr Ewing, a computer specifically built for oil millionaires and 513 other big corporate pundits. The PCjr Ewing will have the ability to cheat, steal, and destroy competitor's 514 electronically stored data. 515 516 While the two continual microcomputer front runners continue to battle each other, a new company, I.C. Computers 517 will emerge as the third largest computer retailer in the country, mainly on the strength of its I.C.U. computer/ 518 surveillance machine, priced at only $699.95, the I.C.U. will totally revitalize the neighbor-versus-neighbor 519 mentality of the late 50's. With its advanced peek-a-boo (tm) mode for looking in on unsuspecting neighbors 520 the I.C.U. will create mass buying sprees where entire city blocks will arm themselves with the unit, so no 521 single occupant has an advantage over any other. 522 523 In the entertainment world, who will still be reeling over the Purvis/Collins annullment trial, the movie 524 industry will see a reawakening from its dulldrum late '85-early '86 business. Sly Stallone and Steven 525 Spielberg will be the two men chiefly responsible for the upswing with their Mega-hit, 'Rambo meets ET.' The 526 daring post-traumatic shock Rambo is sent to ET's world in order to save the little guy and return the 527 government to the hands of the aliens it belonged to before the power was usurped by the Mohawkens, whose leader 528 is masterfully played by best supporting actor winner, Mr. T. The movie will gross over $700 million in domestic 529 rentals alone. 530 531 Lionel Ritchie, Dolly Pardon, Michael Jackson, Cindi Lauper, The Statler Brothers, Madonna, The Judds, Quiet 532 Riot, and Glen Frye will all appear on stage together in August on '86 for a special benefit concert for the 533 Bikini Islands, whose populace is still suffering the affects of The United States of America's H-bomb testing 534 is the early 1950's. The concert, which was dubbed 'Moola-aux-Guam', will raise over 25 million dollars of 535 relief money, and will be the pattern for all fund raisers of the future. Bob Geldof will not be involved with 536 this particular project. 537 538 But his group, the Boom Town Rats, will have the big album his of the year, with their double LP, "I Don't 539 Wanna." The album will become the watch-word for teenagers all over the world who are protesting treatment by 540 their parents, teachers, and clergymen. Similar to Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' in scope and breadth, the nations' 541 young will return to a 60's style revolution of 'Turn on, Tune in, and Toke out', the name of one of the 542 songs on "I Don't Wanna." Record sales will approach 30 million, making it the biggest hit since the Bee Gee's 543 Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. 544 545 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 546 547 BACKWATCHER I DON'T quit know what to say about all this, but i 548 must say so 549 mething. 550 BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 551 B B 552 B ANOUNCING THE M1 BBS B 553 B B 554 B 300/1200 BAUD B 555 B B 556 B 24 HOURS/DAY 7 DAYS/WEEK B 557 B B 558 B OPEN SYSTEM B 559 B ALL WELCOME!!!! B 560 B B 561 B PHONE : 663-xxxx B 562 B B 563 BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 564 B PS NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS B 565 BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 566 567 568 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\The Destroyer will return...\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 569 ______________________________JD 2446444.5895______________________________ TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 569