1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask.... 2 ************************* INSTALLED: 31 OCT 85 ********************** 3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator 4 ************************************************************ 5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION 6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM. 7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned 8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public. 9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is 10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which 11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be 12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved) 13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the 14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the 15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace 16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up. 17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system. 18 **************************************************************** 19 20 line 19 line 19 is not the top just for today - I'm just here to browse. ~ 21 Hah! Some neophite is priveledged to enter in at the top, while an experienced 22 traveller such as myself just misses, and never having done it, regrets the 23 near miss of immortality. And it's Halloween no less... 24 ((((((((((((((((((*))))))))))))))))) 25 26 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 27 The Bear froze for the slightest moment, mesmerized by the huge evil eye 28 staring at him from the end of the tiny cave. His mind seemed to wander into 29 an endless pool of evil, his mind swirled within him, and he began to lose his 30 grip on the sword. 31 32 Suddenly, the eye pulled back, and where there had been a deep pool of green- 33 colored evil, there was only the faint red glow of a huge grotto beyond. Bear 34 could only see a bit of it, but it's enormity could be detected by the look of 35 the wall on the other side. His forehead dripped with sweat, his nose was 36 filled with the overpowering smell of not just sulphur, but the decadence of 37 the purest evil along with it. 38 39 The mist slowly started to clear from his brain, and quickly! he shook his head. 40 He stared around him, and realized that only a few seconds had past, although 41 they had seemed like hours. He put his body into motion with all the power he 42 could muster. Holding his sword in front of him, he crawled backwards through 43 the tunnel, face down. His feet grabbed the stoney ground, his elbows pressed 44 himself backward as quickly as his body could take him. His breath came in 45 short, raspy gasps, his skin crawled with the anticipation of what was to come, 46 and his brain whirled with plans of action. But there was none, except scurrying 47 back through the darkness as quickly as he could. 48 49 Just as the walls began to widen, and he realized he could get up on all fours 50 and turn around, it came. He could hear the drawn-in breath. He could see a 51 brighter flickering of light from the entrance in front of him, the entrance he 52 was so desparately trying to back away from. He had only seconds. He lay flat 53 on the ground, sword held vertically in front of his head. He ground his face 54 into the rock, and held his breath 55 tightly. He held the jeweled handle of his sword against his head. And waited. 56 57 An eternal split second later, the fire from the mouth of the dragon of 58 Fendarr rushed through the small tunnel. The flames danced through the cave, 59 pushed through the small passageway by the force of the dragon's breath, and 60 drawn by the hunger for air waiting 61 at the end its journey. 62 63 The flames enveloped the Bear, and he screamed in desperate agony. 64 65 0000000000000000000000000000 THE BEAR 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 66 *%)_@#*%)_@#*%@)_#*^)_@#*^)_@#*@+#)*^@)_#&*^@_)*^!)_@*^@)_#*^_)*)_@#*^_)@#*^)_@*^_)@*^@_)^*@#$)_&*^@#)_*#_)^*@)_^*@ 67 And while ignoring cretins who hid their multiply disturbed personalities with unsigned UPPERCASE messages, 68 L'homme turned to his companions at the inn and said: 69 Piper: Thanks for the codes. The movie program is now working. I was having some problems with the character packing 70 routine in my DRWABS(x,y) function that were stripping the wrong codes and turning them into 20H. They are fixed now 71 and all I need to do is automate the MODE select for the 4107 and go to work getting some animation going. Thanks much 72 for your help. 73 Mikey: Better try for next Thursday at the PCS social. I will bring the old archive disks. Do you have any new archive 74 disks that we need to bring $$$ for? Any Tandy 2000 COPYLINK sales? I won't even ask about adventure sales; too 75 depressing. 76 *%_)*)_*)_^*#)_*$^)_*@)_^*@)__^*@_)@ L'homme sans Parity %*_)*%@#_)*^_)*)_@#*%_)!%*)_@#*@)_*@)*()_@#(*)_&*_&%_)@&^^ 77 78 A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A=8 79 80 "Snap out of it Trainor! We have come too far to let vindictiveness stop us 81 now." Cragmore's voice was calm, yet it carried the feeling of tremendous 82 emotion just under the surface. 83 The worried looks of Emu and Bard told the rest of the tale. Trainor was 84 still in an incensed state after realizing the lady zeb was the last link 85 to the entity that had destroyed his planet. Feelings of total retribution 86 filled his mind with macabre forms of revenge on the woman who now lay only 87 a few meters away behind a door that Trainor could not enter. 88 Cragmore looked away from Trainor, still struggling against the restraints 89 that kept him immobile, to the others in the small chamber. "We must convince 90 him of the futility in extracting revenge on zeb. It is imperative that he 91 make the last step alone, but we are responsible for getting him to the point 92 where he can make a rational decision about the situation." 93 "I understand" Bard said nodding. "We could try reasoning with him, but I 94 doubt that in his condition reason makes much sense." 95 "Cragmore?" Emu's face flashed with insight. "Couldn't we use some form of 96 psi link to reach Trainor's subconscious? I know a little about psi and I 97 think by cutting through the emotional conscious layers of his mind we could 98 give much more convincing arguments against killing zeb." 99 "Yes...Yes! We must try, and there is no time to waste. Quickly, form the 100 semi-circle. Trainor will occupy the last quadrant of the curve. Now 101 concentrate on reaching Trainor. His body lays in bed but his mind is free 102 to come unto us. Concentrate. Concentrate!" 103 104 Once again, although no one in the room would notice it, a glow arose from 105 the assemblage of men, seated on the floor, forming three quarters of a 106 psi-circle. The last and most important part of the circle was still 107 physically tied to the bed, but the slower breathing and calm look revealed 108 that the attempt was having some effect. Absolute silence washed over the 109 room. The human mind speaks far louder than the human mouth will ever be 110 able to. 111 112 A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= CRAGMORE A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A=8 113 114 A special announcement for all computer users. Remember the Snoopy and Playmate 115 computer prinouts that graced college dorm rooms of freshman computer science 116 students? Now there is Mad's mascot. In its October "special computer" issue, 117 Mad magazine printed a 150-line BASIC program that can place the image of 118 Alfred E. Neuman on any graphics-equipped computer screen. 119 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++M+++++++++++ 120 Does that includ Commodores. 121 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\14 122 James felt like somebody had just let the air out of him. He was silent for a long time. Finally He spoke. "That's 123 a crock." 124 "There's no choice. You must do it." 125 "You seem awfully anxious to go to your final reward." 126 Tariya's face was open, full of fear. "There will be no final reward. Under these circumstances my conciousness 127 will simply dissipate as the sphere winks out of existance." 128 James sighed. "I should have known. It almost happened to me, once. That's probably why soulpower is so forbidden 129 to use. It's a very simple choice." 130 She was close to tears again. "Please. You're the Destroyer. There must be a dozen, no, a hundred ways you could do 131 it. Quickly. Painlessly. It shouldn't bother you. You've done it before." 132 He had turned away, staring into the wall. "Yes. I have, haven't I?" His mind was spinning in tight little circles, 133 endlessly going over his options and finding the same results. 134 "It... it WAS my fault. It's only right-" 135 "You're trying to justify murder. Tell me," James whipped around suddenly with something in his hand. "is THIS what 136 you really want?" 137 In his hand was a sword. His weapon, and the main focus of his destructive powers. It had no scabbard, nor did it 138 need one, as it only existed at his command. The blade was twenty inches long, single edged, and curved like a samurai 139 sword. Sparks of blue fire raced along its edge. 140 Tariya knew all about the sword, of course. It was an integral part of the legend of the Destroyer. Still, she was 141 mesmerized by the sight. Her eyes locked on the tip, following its every slight movement, like a bird paralyzed by a 142 cobra that was about to strike. With an effort she broke the spell and locked eyes with James. "It's not what I want, 143 but it has to be done. If you cannot do it, then give me the blade." 144 "Sure." He said. He held it up to her, by the grip. her hand closed around the wooden grip, and his hand closed on 145 hers, cold as ice and sweating. They held each other's eyes and for a second seemed to share... something. Then he let 146 go. 147 As soon as his skin broke contact with the sword, it dissappeared. Tariya stared down at her empty hand. 148 "As soon as I let go of it, it goes back where it came from." he said. "I can't lose it or have it used against me 149 that way." 150 She was still looking a her hand. Finally she looked up and said, "Then you must do it." 151 They both heard a hollow groan, sounding like a rotten building that was about to collapse. The size of the sphere 152 shrank perceptably. It wouldn't be long. 153 She watched as the animation drained out of his face. His voice was just as flat as his expression. "I guess I have 154 no choice." 155 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 156 157 |_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_| 158 _____________________JD 2446370.8829__________________________________ 159 ++++++++++++++justpassin'through+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milch ++++ 160 161 162 163 exit 164 165 166 break 167 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( just lookin' around )))(((*)))((( Ripple ))) 168 ppppppppppppppppppppppassin' by, me too, justppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 169 *************************THE*COSBY*KID************************************ 170 171 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PET DIES 172 When you find your dog on the front porch stiff, the first thing you 173 do is kick it 174 175 to be shure it's dead but sense you've done this so many times you kick it 176 again, harder this time. From the blow it just recived it rolls off the 177 porch and into the flower bed. You hear no wimpering nor thrashing, now you 178 are pretty shure that the dog is dead, but just to be shure you get a milk 179 bone and throw it to the spot where the dog lies; the flower bed is still 180 silent, there are no chomping or scoffing sounds heard when the dog usualy 181 inhales a milk bone. Now you have to keep away the kids so that they don't 182 see the dog with a milk bone resting on it. For they to know how much the 183 dog loves milk bones. While the kids are harrasing someone else you put the 184 dog in the wash machine to get it all cleaned up, but don't put it on the 185 spin cycle because you might spin some pretty bad stuff out of it. Take this 186 clean dead dog to your local taxidedrmist and have the dog stuffed in a 187 sleeping position. Take this clean dead stuffed dog home and put it into the 188 corner. When the kids come by tell them; "The dog is very sick so leave it 189 alone." Now you have sucessfully avoided telling your kids about the death 190 of their favorit canine. You still have to keep their attention away from 191 the dog by getting another pet like a cute kitten, rat, snake, eel, black- 192 widow, ect. You will never have to tell them about another pet death again 193 it also works good for relatives. 194 ************************************************************************** 195 196 197 ---------------------------------------- 198 ROCK AGAINST RELIGION 199 200 Absolutely dishusting. Plebian attempts at humor merely demonstrate the 201 inability of the writer to captivate a thought and transfer it to the 202 written word. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Sometimes writers 203 are better left decapitated. 204 --------------------------------------- 205 ROCKER AGAINST RELIGION 206 ^C 207 ---just wond-ring..... isn't it that rock is just another form of religion??? 208 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 209 The searing fire rushed through the cave, swirling over and around the Bear. 210 All he could do was grit his teeth in pain, trying to be careful not to breath 211 in the flames. The smell of his scorched hair filled his nostrils, his skin 212 sizzled with the heat, searing him with the greatest pain he had ever felt. 213 214 But still, he kept the sword held vertically in front of him. His hands first 215 reddened, and then blackened as they confronted the force of the blast. 216 217 He felt like he had roasted eternally. He felt like he had tasted Hell, and it 218 had consumed him and given him pain that could not be endured for one more 219 second, much less an eternity. He pressed his face into the ground as hard as 220 he could, his eyes closed, his teeth clenched, his entire body wreathed in 221 agony. His sword glowed. His hands shook while he held it, but still it stood, 222 turning a pale red as the flames whirled around it. 223 224 And it was over. The flames stopped, but the sounds of its destruction filled 225 the air. The Bear's skin sizzled, his body smoked, saliva dripped from the 226 trembling mouth. The stench of burned flesh attacked the air around him. 227 The Bear slowly raised his head, eyes squinting at first, but gradually opening 228 to make out his surroundings. The sword still glowed above him, even redder 229 than before. And Bear knew it was that which had saved his life, for the sword 230 had gathered as much heat as it could stand, taking away enough to save Bear's 231 life. 232 233 And as he looked up, he saw down the tunnel, farther away now, but with enough 234 size and glow to impact his brain with a force like magic, was the eye. The 235 dragon was once again gazing into the cave. And it saw Bear, still alive. 236 237 And it glowed red around the green, and the eye seemed to spit fire. 238 239 Bear's muscles groaned and his skin crackled as he urged himself to stand. A 240 roar came from the grotto in front of him, and the eye again disappeared, 241 quickly. And Bear knew the flames would come once again as he turned and ran. 242 243 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000THE BEAR00000000000000000000000 244 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 245 _______________________JD 2446371.7986__________________________________ 246 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 247 Have you ever wondered why just about everyone says "hello?" when they 248 answer the phone? Well, I have. And I'm intent on putting a stop to it. 249 We humans should be able to muster a bit more creative inginuity and 250 form some snappy welcome to the friend or wrong-number dialer on the other 251 end of the fiber optics. We have the wit, so let's use it. 252 253 I personnaly say something like: 254 255 "Earth..." 256 or 257 "Emergency red-line..." 258 or pose the question 259 "Lemon curry?" 260 261 So let's have some suggestions on how to answer your next phone call. 262 Live'n those lines!! 263 264 PEN NAME 265 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 266 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Guru of Bliss*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* 267 Yup. Whoever said it above. Whenever an 'anti-religeon' posture is taken 268 that isn't an anti religeon; its just another one Religeons become anti-religeon 269 s over time when they go sour and pervert. But even then thair not realy 270 effective anti OTHER religeons. Rather they become the anti-religeon of 271 themselves! 272 This is sometimes refered to as entropy... 273 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* 274 ch /thair/their/;/religeon/religion/;/refered/referred/;/realy/really/ PLEASE! 275 276 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# 277 Whenever I answer the phone, I always say, "Hello, Bert's Taco Palace" 278 See if you can figure where I got that one from... 279 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#JD#SILVERMAN#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# 280 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& 281 How about, "Suzy's Sexy Sauna, Suzy speaking" or "Hilltop Asylum, the inmates 282 are doing quite nicely this morning, which of them would you rather converse 283 with?" 284 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& 285 _________________________________________________________________________ 286 How about, "Nobody's home but you will have to check with who where" 287 _________________________________________________________________________ 288 ................................... 289 My My, you take rock so seriously, could it be, nah, you would not make that into your religion, would you? 290 ................................... 291 ************************************************************************* 292 Dead dog? How awful. Absolutely tacky. But it was written as well as 293 most of the stuff on Backwater. What can you do with dead babies? 294 295 The Instigator 296 ************************************************************************* 297 298 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt 299 city morgue... you stab 'em... we slab em... 300 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt 301 302 SageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSage 303 "A pen with pigment! In the stead of ink? What an idea," Exclaimed the 304 Sage. Obviously the idea excited the Sage who was quite tired of dipping 305 his pens in ink every few words. 306 "Yes, and it only cost three or four marks," Said the Stationaire, in 307 his brisk accent. Eyes peering out of thick glasses, and fingers nimbly 308 twisting the pens in his fingers. 309 "You are trying to raise the price," Remarked the Sage wisely, almost 310 happily. A smile crinkled his eyes, and his fingers deftly picked up six 311 pens in succession. Dropping a mark after each one. 312 "No, it simply costs three marks, no less," Said the Stationaire in 313 good form as a miser. No smile crinkled his eyes, greed squinted his eyes. 314 "Oh," Said the Sage. Ashamed of having changed this deal from one 315 between friends and colleagues, into one between banker and widow. His 316 eyes met the floor and his monies dropped onto the table. 317 318 "Yes, this is the profit," Stationaire was pleased with this. 319 "A profit, eh? A profit," Sage was disappointed at only receiving a 320 trio of pens, and at seeing the greed of a friend. 321 The pens certainly did expedite work on the play, and by that winter, 322 nearly enough money to buy the other pens had accumulated. The scene 323 between the two colleagues that winter was nearly as pathetic as the one 324 described here. 325 326 SageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSage 327 328 hello 329 reme 330 331 332 333 exit 334 335 HELLO 336 FILGAR 337 ILGAR 338 HELLO 339 ::::::::::::::::O O::::::::11/2/85::::::::::::::13:56::::::::O O::::::::::::::: 340 Cistop: I got the CL+ demo disk yesterday. That's a Really slick piece of work! 341 And it's all done with scripts?! Most impressive. 342 However (there's always a 'but') you've been reading BackWater too much. 343 The abbreviation for "et cetera" is 'etc.', not 'ect'. You made that 344 mistake on the Features screen. Things like that really turn some 345 people off. ('if he doesn't worry about the spelling, how much did he 346 worry about the debugging...?') Otherwise it's impressive. 347 I wonder if they'd let you upload it to CompuServe? 348 ::::::::::::::O O:::::::::::::voyeur::::::::::::O OOOOOO:::::::::::::::::::::::: 349 -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ 350 Just a simple "May I help you?" lead people to believe 351 you have some sort of official function. After that, you 352 can assess the situation and tell the story of your choice. 353 -/-/-/-/-/- 354 Or: 355 "This had durn well better be a good one!" Just to make 356 the caller think of the story. 357 -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ 358 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_ 359 NEOHAMA 360 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_ 361 The other side of humor from... 362 Writers WS with Leah. 363 A sinicle suicide. 364 365 This gun feels so great against the poalm of my hand... I can 366 feel the smooth pearl even if it is heavy. And the long 367 sleek barrel. The weight of it is tolerable... and the shiny tri 368 CLICK BANG............................................. 369 370 371 --------------------------------- 372 NEOHAMA 373 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_> 374 Neohama... you made me laugh. good one. 375 376 How about: "Joe's Pool Hall. Who in the hall do you want?" 377 OR 378 "Heaven. God speaking!" 379 380 or just answer it panting hard and say 381 "WHAT?" 382 383 or the best one is, if it's late at night or you answer it sleepy and the othe 384 r person asks "Oh, did I wake you up?" 385 Say "No, I was asleep anyway." 386 387 Nine times out of ten the caller will say "Oh, that's good," assuming that 388 you answered the way he/she expected you to. 389 390 They'd feel different if the show were on the other boot, but it's no skin off 391 their shirt. 392 393 +++ 394 Whoever thought the phone answerer question up did a good job... this is 395 the first real good chit chat Backwater has had in a long time! 396 -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ 397 Bah! enter only... *shoe* were on the other boot. That really fries my 398 griddles. 399 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+plusminusplusminusplusminus+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- 400 ttttttt ttt tt t neohama... i will see you some time... t tt ttt tttttt 401 402 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% 403 After what seemed to be only several hours later, I woke up. My head 404 behaved itself instead of hurting as it should ha after seventeen rounds of 405 that ethanol-enriched drink, which surprised me. 406 I looked at my watch, stared at the date. Two days after our little party. 407 I scanned the room, found what I knew must be there. A note from the Doctor 408 and Milchar. I opened it up and read: 409 'Dear Bert, 410 Milch left on some sort of errand he had to finish, and I was called back 411 to Gallifrey on business. I'm sorry we can't be around when you wake up, but 412 I'm sure you won't mind. Oh, yes, a friend of yours showed up yesterday. 413 You'll find him in the commons room. 414 the Doctor' 415 I got up and dressed, then made my way quickly down to the commons room. A 416 familiar face looked up from his hot breakfast and smiled at me. 417 %%%%%%% rebalsa %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% 11/02/85 418 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple ))) 419 _______________________________JD 2446373.0181_________________________ 420 [*=*] unknown /B/ dorun/ /F/ /Rubicon/ [*=*] 421 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 422 [*=*] unknown (B) orun (I) MC68000EMP Rubicon(F)[*=*] 423 ppppppppppppppppassin' by on Sunday AMpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 424 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 425 Ok, let's get something straight. Murphy was an optimist. But, he was 426 not as far seeing as many people would have you believe. Murphy dictated 427 a set of "laws", but, he did not include anything about the panorama of 428 inevitable happenings. 429 In other words, Murphy did not include any secondary considerations. 430 That is, Laws that the Laws follow. 431 Of course, there is a reason he did not include any such. And that 432 is that these considerations change for each person. Like a thump-print, 433 everyone has there own, no two alike. 434 435 Mine own, include the following: 436 437 1: When I go to the Supermarket, my shoes inevitably come untied. 438 But, always my left Converse High-Top, never my right. 439 2: Furthermore, I always pick the shopping-cart with only the LEFT 440 side wheels messed-up. Always only the left. 441 442 There are others, but why go into that here? I have two qeustions: 443 Firstly; What is this left-affliction? Does it have something to do 444 with my brain? (As in Monte Python's Grundy, "MY BRAIN HURTS!") Or is 445 it something more unique, perhaps even of Cosmic Reletivity? 446 447 Secondly; Does anyone else experiance such occurances? Surely there are 448 some, surely I am not alone in this!?! 449 450 Well, in any case, it's something to think about... 451 452 PEN NAME 453 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 454 No! No one better do it. Please no murphy's law files uploaded to backwater. 455 We have all seen it too many times. We have all laughed in the past at its 456 anonymous wit. We have all gone on to bigger and better humor. Some of us 457 even laugh at Alan Thicke. 458 French Toast 459 460 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 461 How about Finangle's law: The perversity of the universe tends toward a 462 maximum. Also applicable to exam questions, time schedules, and the 'shortest' 463 route between two points in a modern city. 464 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milch ++++++++++ 3 Nov 85, 2:24pm +++++++++++++++ 465 " a chicken is an egg's way of making another egg" 466 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 467 Bbbrrring, bbbrrring, click. "Satan speaking, who in hell do you want?" 468 --------------------------------- S.D.-------------------------------------- 469 Well, everyone, I'm back. I've been in the hospital for some time, and I've 470 learned a great deal about the way I was, and all te terrible things that I 471 have done to so many innocent young children. I know what all of you thougt 472 of me from the messages that were left for me, and I can only hope that you 473 can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I no longer have those terrible 474 desires, they shocked that out of me at the hospita and I am cured. I am no 475 longer a threat to society. Will you please give meanother chance to be your 476 friend? I promise I will never ask any of you to le me baby sit for your 477 children again, as I know you may not trust me at first. Is there anyone ou 478 t there that will still speak to me? Remorsefully, FRANK 479 ********************************************************************** 480 L'homme: No archives as of this date, haven't had the time to convert them 481 to MSDOS yet. Only one Tandy 2000 sold. About $40 worth of Adventure disks 482 sold. Hey, it's better then nothing at all. 483 484 Voyeur: Actually, it is on Compuserve, it is in the products/fixes download 485 library of the IBM proSIG section. I don't feel all that bad about the ect 486 thing, it was proof read by a literary major who teaches creative writing and 487 english. If that is all you can find wrong, I feel pretty good about it. 488 P.S. it looks even better in color! 489 ******************************* CISTOP MIKEY ********************************* 490 491 I LOOK AT THE PHYSICAL forces of the universe and understand that this is 492 the word of god, gods laws and gods word, is not the evolutionary forces 493 on this planet of earth, gods law also; increasing complexity and 494 conscious awareness, that is evolution of intelligence, I realise that 495 we must know all about the innerworkings of the human mind, just like 496 you know the operating system to a computer, and its the innerworkins of 497 a microprocessor chip. What and why are some people not aware of thier 498 own emotions, state of mind, thier reasoning ability, imagination, 499 fantasy, dreams,limitations of senses in the physical world, some 500 people do not have a vocabulary or awarness to describe thier base 501 feelings, where has this culture failed in such a great and grand 502 economy and such great opportunity to develop? My life span is but a 503 drop in the ocean, a microsecond in the process of evolutionary time, 504 what kind of intellence will appear next on this earth during 505 mellenia? Please god i appeal to you, dont let me fall, but continue 506 onwards in developing my awareness of the abilities of others and 507 myself and guard me from those who will try to steer me off the 508 path into ignorance and destruction......The Mind. 509 510 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.EmuLurk.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. 511 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 512 Milch: It's late Sunday night, and I've yet to receive anything from 513 the Honeywell. Maybe tomorrow... 514 L'Homme: You can have your notebook back, as I won't be needing it 515 anymore. I don't like admitting defeat, but that class will have to 516 wait until next fall. I also have those Intel disks still. When's 517 the big MOVIE demonstration? 518 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...!psu-cs!nelsons<><><><><><> 519 Hmmmm.... Frank, your spelling has definitely gone downhill since your 520 last appearance here. 521 522 Pen Name: Some of us lefties might take offense at your unprovoked attacks 523 of the concept of leftness 524 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_ 525 526 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 527 ppppppppppppppppppprowlin' in the early am pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 528 hey murphy: what do you call that stupid plastic thing at the end of shoelac 529 frank: ever consider that you lean to the left? In more ways than one? 530 Perhaps when you walk you slide more weight 531 toward the left foot. So when you push a cart you also mash it down left- 532 ways a bit. Maybe you should see a chiropracter. 533 534 Or change your politics... 535 536 :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;: 537 Wait... was that Frank who asked that? Wait, let me check. 538 539 No dammit. it was Pen name. Acch! this is too much to read. Anyway, sorry 540 to have mistaken you for a child molester Pen Name. Speaking of which, any 541 one who molests a child oughta be shot, not placed in a hospital for treat- 542 ment. There is nothing, absolutely nothing in this world lower. So Frank, 543 go slide back under the slug you crawled out from under... 544 545 :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:; 546 547 -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+------+++--+-+-+-++++-+-+-++-+---------++++----- 548 549 I LOVE MY WIFE! 550 551 552 553 ...AND WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST NINE YEARS! AHHH, BLISS. 554 HARD WORK, BUT BLISS AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW>>>>>>>> 555 556 557 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ 558 ma 105 559 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 560 If that was the real FRANK then PAM is a white witch and Mohammad 561 Wassir is a cop! How on earth could you people be so easily fooled by this 562 poor attempt at imitating Frank's tendancies. A few clues to watch for next 563 time this new FRANK dares appear. First of all, Frank's messages were all 564 64 columns or less, being related to the brand of computer he used. All of 565 Frank's messages were first typed in on a word processor and then uploaded 566 to Backwater. I do not recall when Frank ever made a typo or spelling error 567 that wasn't related to a problem with his upload. Secondly, Frank's feelings 568 were firmly engrained into his psyche. It would take much more than electro- 569 shock treatment to dissolve these tendancies in Frank. Someone has been 570 watching 'Cuckoo's Nest' again. Electro-shock treatment is not used on 571 child molesters unless they show other forms of neurotic behavior directly 572 connected with the center in the brain that shock therapy moderates. Thirdly, 573 why should the real Frank come begging back to this place? A place where he 574 was threatened with physical violence and torture is not the first place a 575 'recovered' patient would return to. Seeing the lack of temperance on this 576 system would certainly steer Frank far away towards calmer more mature 577 waters. Be assured that Frank is still Frank, and FRANK is nothing but a 578 cheap fraud, hardly worth the millivolts used to enter his dispicable 579 missive. 580 581 F.Y.I. 582 583 ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff 584 585 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/ 586 Am I the only one who remembers who Frank really was? A construct of one of 587 Backwaters better writers from days long past. 588 MC6809EMP! /dorun/ 589 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/ 590 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 591 Lefties: No, I have nothing against you, I consider the whole affair 592 a personal problem, like acne, jock itch and takeing Hugo Gernsback's name in 593 vain. 594 (Ever notice how seeking knowledge is much easier than 595 keeping it?) PEN NAME 596 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||have to do something about that margin next time!|| 597 I 598  599 Like all abnormal people, lefties have tendencies toward the unusual. 600 It is a known fact that most rapists are either left-handed or would 601 have had a tendency toward it if their mother's hadn't steered them 602 otherwise. It's also well known that left-handedness is a sure sign of 603 self-love and inflated pride. 604 605 Frank was probably left-handed. 606 607 !"#$$%%&''()00!!"!""#$$$%$%&''()0)0!""##$$$%$%%%&&''(()00!""""##$$%%%&%&&''' 608 :-< To the above: WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE **** UP?! >-: 609 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` 610 Left handed people are just the same as you and I, they just write 611 with their left hand. They don't have the definite split of right brain and 612 left brain but the emotional responces are just the same as what people would 613 call Normal. Wasn't a extra y chromozone connected with all of the murderers? 614 Now, what about people who can either write with their left hand or 615 their right hand because to them there is no difference, what about them? are 616 you going to call them half-murderers? But the problem there is that they are 617 also right handed, although people have two seperate brains in their heads you 618 can't call half of a person a murderer without insulting the other half. 619 Just a thought: Research has shown that babies that prefer to lie 620 on their right side will turn out being left handed and the other way around. 621 Babies haven't been around long enough for outside influences to govern which 622 side they like to sleep on. So if a babie ends up being left handed would you 623 say it was inherited from the parents? And what if this same babie turns out 624 to be an axe killer in a subway, will you say it was inherited? 625 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`Mark 626 627 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 628 Could somebody explain who Frank wqas? -Tanya 629 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 629