LIST FILE ON MARGIN IS 96 STATUS: ENTER ONLY NUMBER OF LINES: 566 1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask.... 2 ******************** REMOVED: 17 APR 84 ******************** 3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator 4 ************************************************************ 5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION 6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM. 7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned 8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public. 9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is 10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which 11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be 12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved) 13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the 14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the 15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace 16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up. 17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system. 18 ************************************************************ 19 20 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 21 made it to the top again................ 22 .. it's not the same without PAM. Aaron 23 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 24 Thank you, Mikey, for the return of the replace and delete. 25 Much appreciated. - Grand D. 26 *********************************************************** 27 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 28 Aaron:so you have decided to attend a PorSFiS meeting after all,good time to 29 return a set of borrowed books! lest you forget-Joan`Didion-the white albium and 30 slouching twords bethlehem(sp 31 Mad Actor-would it be`possible for you to keep a disk or 2 of the next`few days of 32 BWMS for`me? this`is my last entry for a while.thanks. 33 The Man in Gray 34 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 35 36 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 37 The tower gleamed brightly in the sunlight, refracting many 38 multi-colored patterns along the meadow below. If it were not 39 for the strange appearance of the base of the tower this might 40 be just another ancient style of structure built in a quiet 41 pastoral setting. If one could peek in the high windows, a feat 42 which was clearly impossible because the base of the tower and 43 its associated entrance seemed to shift in and out of existence. 44 Furthermore the top of the tower was obviously of a much greater 45 diameter than the base. Coupled with the fact that the sides 46 were made of some shiny unbroken surface made scaling the height 47 clearly out of the question. If one could have taken a peek they 48 would have seen an ancient alchemist in the midst of exercising 49 his skills, which sometimes produced some unexpected turns of 50 events that even surprised the practitioner himself: 51 52 "that's the last time i'm ever going to buy an enhancement 53 module for my multi-phase transmuter from some cut-rate 54 tele-portation delivery house!!!", exclaimed the occupant of 55 room at the top of the tower. With that he struck the shimmering 56 display a sharp whack with some sort of wand. A sound like a 57 large gong sounded and the display cleared. 58 59 "GREAT GLORIOUS INCANTATIONS", he yelled as he peered into the 60 device. There in three (or four) dimensions was some sort of 61 drinking establishment, and gathered around the tables was one 62 of the most unusual assortments of individuals ever witnessed to 63 be in one place. One of them had a woven rope wound around his 64 head, comprised of colors that couldn't possibly exist together. 65 Another one had something that looked somewhat like an ancient 66 musical bag tucked under one arm, and the rest defied any 67 reasonable attempt at description. 68 69 The sound was muffled and distorted but he could just make out 70 that they seemed to know each other to some degree and enjoyed 71 a good ale and swapping lies. Also there was some talk of a 72 great adventure of some kind. That sure sounded like his kind 73 of folks, and if there was anything he liked it was going off 74 on an adventure rather than working. (Sure he told the ruling 75 Monarch that he would transform some lead into GOLD but that 76 was a trivial matter that he had already accomplished... 77 besides that was just a cover story to keep the authorities off 78 his back so he could carry on his real experiments.) 79 80 At first he thought he might just teleport the one with the 81 music bag to the tower and question him, but on second thought 82 he remembered that to these folks such technology might appear 83 like Magic. Ok, he decided there's no getting around some sort 84 of strange entrance, besides if he understood this strange 85 language correctly, these folks would hardly notice among all 86 the strangeness already in progress. 87 88 With that he stepped right into the display and emerged into 89 the semi-lit drinking establishment. 90 "My friends", he said, "if i might be so presumptuous to address 91 you thus, would it be asking too much to join you in this 92 trans-reality? I understand Adventure is in the offing!" 93 `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 94 95 A whine filled the air on Burnside as a TARDIS materialised. Bums 96 ran everywhere and threw their bottles in the trash can with a look of 97 finality. 98 "Ah, here we are, Portland," said the Doctor as he took a whiff 99 of the air. 100 "This is where I leave," replied the Ninja. "Watch the aborigines for 101 me, would you?" 102 "I'd be delighted. I need a rest." 103 "Ok then, my first stop will be the local drinking establishment." 104 105 106 DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VERSIOF 107 AMODEM MC TERMINAL PROGFR THE A 108 IF SO CALL ERIC AT 666-xxxx 109 THIS IS THE VERSION ICRO COEION MODEM 110 111 112 THANKS 113 +++++++++++++++++++++++ 114 LETS TRY THIS AGAIN 115 116 DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VERSION 117 AMODEM FOR THE MICRO CONNECTION MODEM 118 FOR THE ATARI COMPUTER 119 IF SO CONTACT ERIC AT 666-xxxx 120 121 THANKYOU VERY MUCH 122 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 123 WE'RE OFF TO A SLOW START. ANYONE FOR SOME MILK AND COOKIES? --MOTHER 124 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 125 ********************************* 126 ********************************* 127 * 128 129 HELLO ALL YOU COMPUTER HACKERS HOW 130 ARE YOU TODAY. 131 132 WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF THERE 133 WAS SOME REAL INTERESTING 134 INFO ON THIS CRAZY BULLITIN 135 BOARD. 136 137 138 MAD MAX....... 139 140 ************************************* 141 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 142 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 143 { 144 for all wondering: "{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}" and I are not the related.... 145 } 146 =============================================================================== 147 BOY O BOY, THREE HOURS SINCE I LAST CHECKED IN AND NO NEW MESSAGES. TALK ABOUT 148 SLOW. NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE IT BEFORE. MAX 149 =============================================================================== 150 151 Has anyone noticed the declining state of bulliten boards of late? 152 I am not refering to this system, for its' users have always been 153 the most creative. 154 155 What I speak of is the pirate systems. Namely Whispering Pines, 156 West Side #1, and West Side #2 (Shadow Realm, now). I fear for 157 the continued operation of all GOOD systems due to the activities 158 of a few individuals. This is what we have feared for a long time 159 (actually since the 414 group hit the news). If something is not 160 done, everything so many have worked for and enjoyed for so long 161 may be lost. 162 163 If you have not checked the above systems, I suggest that you do 164 just to see what is going on. They trade SPRINT access codes as 165 well as information on anyother computer they can break into. If 166 you got a big phone bill because of unmade calls, you can probably 167 blame these fools. 168 169 What are we to do about it fellow tele-computerists? Suggestions 170 and ideas, anyone? 171 172 Signed, 173 Big Brother 174 -----------------------------BIG---------------- 175 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 176 THEIR MOTHER'S SHOULD HEAR! --MOTHER 177 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 178 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 179 Noticing the tall bearded stranger appearing out of thin air and the ninja 180 coming in the front, the piper waved them over. "Alchemist eh? Welcome and 181 have a glass. Here's the ninja. Hi -- did you manage to dispose of the 182 dragon's egg, or whatever the name of the gem you and Johnathan Chance were 183 chasing after?" The piper poured each a glass. 184 "We have no great plans or quest in mind. We are just trying to find our 185 way back to Innisfall from this reality. My pipes have become nearly impossible 186 as the reeds are just getting into shape. I can't shift us where we want to 187 go. We are preparing to travel up the big river Kulumbia to a point that 188 the apprentice feels holds enough magic for him to shift us back." 189 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 190 Pirate-conscious Big Brother: Do you really want to know...or was that a 191 question not demanding an answer? If the former--exposure by name and deed is 192 one answer, I believe. Anonymity supports acts not undertaken when responsi- 193 lity for consequences is clearly assignable. In words of one syllable: take 194 names and string the clowns up. Dave 195 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* 196 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 197 A cloak covered man lays beneath the Rowan tree outside the 198 Inn. He stirs, then opens his eyes, then quickly closes them 199 again against the glare of the sun. He utters a low moan: "Oooh 200 whaa? How did I get here? I wish someone would turn down that 201 light. Uuuhh....ooooohhhh...." Struggling the man finally gets 202 to his feet. Then quickly grabs his head. Slowly he moves to 203 the edge of the road, then sits down on an old log laying there. 204 Thinking back he tries to remember what happened. Slowly his 205 memory begins to return, or at least parts of it. Some time ago 206 he had been sitting at his usual place in the Inn worrying about 207 his dear friend Emer and why she had been gone for so long. 208 Worrying that something untoward might have happened to her, he 209 had partaken a bit too much of that heady wine that the Innkeeper 210 kept. Oh how he regretted doing that now. His head felt like it 211 was being struck by a thousand hammers all at once. Sitting 212 there with his head in his hands, he then remembered the 213 nightmare. It had started simply enough as a normal dream. 214 Though why he would want to search for the one called PAM he 215 didn't know, perhaps he was in sympathy with the Innkeeper who 216 had spoken earlier to him of the missing PAM and his worry over 217 her disappearance. Perhaps his befudled mind had latched onto 218 the Innkeepers plight since it was like his own. His mind using 219 the search as a substitute for his own failing of not being able 220 to search for himself. This thought appears to be too much for 221 him as great wracking sobs shake his body. "Oh Emer... Emer... 222 how I could use your soothing voice and gentle touch now..." 223 X Tarn X 224 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 225 226 *************************************************************** 227 SIGH.. HERE WE GO AGAIN... SORRY ABOUT THAT FOLKS, BUT AT LEAST 228 I CAUGHT IT BEFORE TOO MUCH WAS DESTROYED. 229 ****************** CISTOP MIKEY ******************************** 230 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 231 WE PEOPLE AT 'THE SURVIVALIST JUNCTION KNOW WHAT TA DO ABOUT DEM PINKO COMMIES 232 ALL YA HAFTA DO IS GO OVER TO WHISPERIN PINES,AND DEM DER ODERS SHOVA AR15 UP 233 THEIR NOSE.LETS SEE EM ENTER MAH SPRINT NUMBER DEN,HUH! 234 DARLIN DAROLD 235 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 236 ---------------------------------------------- 237 IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE FBI SHOULD BE NOTIFIED. WILEY WILLY. 238 ---------------------------------------------- 239 >>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<< 240 241 Pasted to a wall amongst several posters stood a small flyer 242 243 ____________________________________________________ 244 | | 245 | Inter Reality | 246 | Properties and Travel Agency | 247 | ------------------------------ | 248 | | 249 | Specializing in Transendental Real Estate | 250 | and Known Space Tours for the discriminating | 251 | sentient. ( Psi-Tours available ) | 252 | -------------------------------------------- | 253 | | 254 | Selected listings : | 255 | | 256 | Canyon - Spacious 43 floor cliff house | 257 | stepping discs, full appliances | 258 | beautiful south Canyon view. | 259 | | 260 | Kithrup - Frontier space living at its | 261 | finest. Enjoy solitude and peace | 262 | in this unique metallic setting. | 263 | | 264 | Procellarum - Gorgeous multi-dimensional | 265 | habitat. Complete stabilization | 266 | and continuity for the demanding | 267 | aquaphile. | 268 | | 269 | -------------------------------------- | 270 | | 271 | Selected Tours : | 272 | | 273 | Inner Space Special - Enjoy 56 shifts and | 274 | explore the facinating world of | 275 | discontinuity. | 276 | | 277 | Parthisur Celebration - Be a witness to the | 278 | once-in-a-sun alignment of 19 planets | 279 | and experience the festival of | 280 | The Occurance . | 281 | | 282 | ---------------------------------------- | 283 | | 284 | We offer a full range of Reality tours, | 285 | Planet tours, System Tours and of course | 286 | all the recreational facilities the Ywheksx | 287 | Dimension. | 288 | | 289 | For further information on any of the | 290 | listings seen here or to discuss your next | 291 | vacation posibilities please contact | 292 | | 293 | I.R.P. Inc, | 294 | Attn: Brendan Wkeep | 295 | Psi- 1886 Txa :1109 | 296 | | 297 | All inquiries will be kept in strict confidence | 298 | | 299 ____________________________________________________ 300 301 from around the corner you could hear the sonorous tones of the pipes 302 ....... 303 304 >>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<< 305 TO ALL USERS 306 HELLO I AM DICK LARSEN, THE OWNER AND GENERAL MAACE.(206)696-xxxx 307 THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THIS BBS AND SO BEAR WITH ME. ADVANCED COMPUTER 308 EXCHANGE IS A BROKERAGE SERVICE FOR PRE-OWNED COMPUTERS AND PERIPHERALS. I AM 309 ON-LINE 6PM-9AM,MON.-SAT. AND ALL DAY SUNDAY. MY ADDRESS IS: ADVANCED COMPUTER 310 EXCHANGE, VANCOUVER, WA 98668. PLEASE CALL OR WRITE. THANK YOU. 311 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 312 THE ABOVE WAS QUITE INTERESTING.....BUT ON A LOVELY DAY LIKE TODAY, I 313 WOULD RATHER BE SKY-DIVING! SO CHEERIO............... 314 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 315 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 316 NOTICE !!! NEW EXPERIMENTAL BULLETIN BOARD !!!! ALL BWMS FANS INVITED TO 317 CALL AFTER 6PM IN THE EVENING TO 227xxxx AND TRY IT OUT. WANT BWMS USERS 318 ESPECIALLY TO TRY IT OUT (LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T GET ON HERE). COURTESY 319 ADAM TRENT AND CHUCK HUGHES (AKA HROTHGAR) (AND STEVE NEIGHORN SINCE HE WAS 320 HERE AT THE TIME ). 321 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 322 MOTHER, 323 YOU AREN'T MOTHER, I'M MOTHER! 324 --MOTHER 325 326 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 327 MOTHER IS OFF THE AIR AS STATUS IN ENTER ONLY. --MOTHER(OTHER) 328 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 329 MOTHER KNOWS BEST. 330 -- MOTHER 331 HAHAHAAAA! FOOLED THEM AGAIN! 332 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 333 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 334 DALEN,A FINE SWORD OF STEEL AND DARETITE WAS THE FIRST TO BE 335 CAST FROM THE DWARVEN MITHAT OR SO I AM TOLD PERISHED JUST 336 A MONTH AGO AT THE HANDS OF A MASTER OF THER RED FAITHS.IN ANY 337 CASE DALEN IS A MASTERS FINEST, SHE IS SCORCHED ALONG HER SIDES 338 BUT HONED,AND SHARP ON HER EDGE SHAEFTER OF THE WHITE FAITH HAS 339 NOTED IN THE QUAITHMAIT VOLUMES THAT THE MARKS WILL NOT BE REM- 340 OVED AND CANNOT TILL SUCH THAT HER MASTER BE DEAD.NOTATIONS OF 341 THIS CAN BE SEARCHED FOR AND 342 FOUND FROM THE WINTERS OF 567 343 YEARS AGO. OR IF YOU SEARCH IN THE NORTHWOODS AMONGST THE BLACK 344 FAITHS 800 SHANT. 345 HER MAKER WAS A WHITE FAITH DWARF OF THE NAME NLASTIN.IN 346 SOME REALMS IT IS SAID HE WAS NOT A TRUE WHITE FAITH BUT A SPY 347 FOR THE RED FAITH AND THAT HIS MASTERWORK WAS TAKEN BY A ROUGUE 348 AFTER HIS EXECUTION.THIS IS DENIED BY THE SURVIVORS OF TH 349 MINES BUT NO MATTER. 350 SHE WAS LAST SEEN IN THE GRIP OF ALLWAST LEADER OF THE D'CHAFT 351 TRIBES IN USE AGAINST THE CULTS OF CHAEG.WHILE ALLWAST FELL THAT 352 DAY EVERYONE KNOWS THE CHAEG WERE DEFEATED IN THE NORTHWOODS 353 AND NO EVIDENCE OF THE CHAEG USING HER HES MANAGED TO REACH 354 ME AND THUS THE LEGION OF EIGHT. 355 THIS LEADS ONE TO BELEIVE THAT SHE IS IN THE BOGS INNORTH 356 WOODS SUNKEN. OR THAT SHE LIES IN THE UNCLAIMED CULTIST OF CHAEG. 357 SEVERAL HAVE SEAR NORTHWOODS ONLY TO HAVE THEIR 358 BODIES POSTED IN DEFIANCE OF THOSE WHO WOULDST ENTER THE BLA- 359 CK FAITHS REALM. 360 AH IT IS NIGHT AND I MLEAVE BUT I SHALL COME AGAIN AND 361 TELL YOU OF EYERFONN A DAGGER TOLD TO BE OF GREAT POWER TO SHE 362 THAT WIELDS HER AND OF DEATH TO HE THAT WEILDS HER.FUNNY STORY 363 ACTUALLY GOOD DAY. 364 365 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 366 What, pray tell, is all that rambling in the preceeding message? 367 Every once in a while I get the impression that there's a story there, 368 but then it fades away again. But then, that's the nice thing about 369 Backwater-anyone is welcome (least common denominater, ibid) 370 ::::::::::::::::::: 371 TO: I.R.P Inc. 372 Attn: Brenden Wkeep 373 as a matter of style, not content--your 'poster' would have 374 been much more effective if left-justified; my 64 column screen abused 375 the symmetry something terrible. 376 ::::::::::::::::::: 377 I am not acquainted with the "Dave" signed earlier on this disk. 378 :::::::::::::::::::::O O::::::voyeur::::::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::::: 379 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 380 CISTOP, gee, isn't that elven-sword bit above familiar (sorry, "familur") 381 looking? (stylisticly, that is?) (maybe not so much content-wise...)... 382 I wonder. Aaron 383 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 384 385 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 386 Ah, kind sir you certainly know how to welcome a thirsty traveler in 387 this time-space vector. Without a doubt you must be the one referred to 388 as the piper. On my way here I finally remembered that the unusual sounding 389 musical instrument, to which you appear to be attached, is called a 'pipe 390 of the bag' or something like that. Well I can tell you it was indeed 391 fortunate you happened to be playing it so well a short while ago. My new 392 dimension enhancement module had set the whole transmuter into sympathetic 393 vibration. Had it not been for the sound of the pipes resyncronizing it 394 I might now be scattered over several trans-reality spaces. Oh!, please 395 excuse me for carrying on so and let me introduce myself. I usually go 396 by the name of -alchemist- in deference to my primary craft and skills. 397 Of course you understand in my business one usually does not reveal their 398 real name, however I'm sometimes a bit loose with the rules. 399 400 You might well inquire as to how an ancient alchemist happens to be 401 in possession of such fancy futuristic hardware. This question like all 402 those of its type has many answers...one such I saw on the wall of one 403 of the specialized function rooms that seem to be attached to most 404 drinking establishments. Let me see if I can remember exactly how it 405 was phrased: 406 ------------------------------------------ 407 | Time is the illusion we create to keep | 408 | everything from happening at once. | 409 ------------------------------------------ 410 or something like that. In any case I did have the ability to cross space- 411 time vectors until this recent malfunction. I haven't had time to survey 412 the damage yet but I may be here for awhile. How fortunate that I should 413 encounter such a friendly welcome. I did notice however that some of the 414 natives seem to be a bit restless. In any case I'm still thirsty from the 415 dusty cosmic road, allow me to buy a round for one and all. Being in the 416 GOLD business has it's advantages, since it seems to be a medium of 417 exchange for nearly all time. It is accepted as 'Coin of the Relm' here, 418 it it not? 419 420 Indeed I will be ready for some adventure soon. Perhaps I saw the place 421 called Innisfall on my way here, but I fear the navigation module may be 422 out-of-whack. One landmark I did notice was someone lying under a tree; 423 a Rowan tree to be exact. Whoever it was seemed to be somewhat agitated; 424 creating a number of waves on several psychic channels. Maybe we could 425 home in on them. Perhaps that travel agency that has the poster over 426 there on the wall could be contacted and an inquiry made concerning 427 some sort of package deal for the lot of us. 428 429 In any event there is time a plenty... with a sigh the alchemist 430 brushed a fleck of foam from his beard and sat down, happy to have 431 found some friends here and anxious to get acquainted better and 432 share a few grins. 433 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 434 435 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 436 The piper sat relaxed and waiting. The day had been interesting and product- 437 ive. The evening had brought several new compaions. The new reeds were 438 breaking in well, and soon the pipes would be controllable again. What we 439 need more than anything else, he mused, Is someone to take charge and direct 440 this expedition. We, as a group, tend to be dedicated anarchists, or at the 441 least barbarians. No sense of orginazation, coherence, or unity. Oh well, 442 better warn our new friend. 443 "Say, alchemist--" he searched for the right words. "Use your smallest 444 gold coins. These people do not use gold for coinage, and place an inordanate 445 value on it. You might leave one small coin for the barkeep and he will 446 keep you in this stuff all night." The piper spurned the glass and drained a 447 full pitcher of beer. 448 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 449 450 451 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] 452 453 I have been working for ages it seems, and the projects ahead only 454 seem to grow in direct proportion to the speed with which I finish them. 455 The work is invigorating, its challenge bringing a response from me that is 456 both welcome and at the same time irritating. I have traveled much of 457 late, worked many long hours, and received schooling in subjects that 458 previously only grazed the periphery of my consciousness. But the 459 challenges, the travel, the new and fascinating knowlege only serve to 460 prevent me from traveling a road to a land I once spent so much time in. 461 Though the sky is clear and the weather warm, my mood is melancholy. 462 463 I must have more control over the little time is my own! Here I find 464 myself in an office above the streets of the city, and my thoughts are 465 focused not on my work, but on my home nestled in the wood, and the Inn I 466 had once frequented with so much regularity. So many dear friends! Such 467 good times! Why am I here in this flourescently lit cage when I could be 468 running through the forest, sitting in my favorite sun-lit glen, or perhaps 469 pulling the beard of some young swain? 470 471 My thoughts seem to have taken on a will of their own, for I now 472 imagine that I can hear the pipes that frequently resound through the halls 473 of the good Backwater. No, it is not the result of an overworked 474 imagination, I do indeed hear pipes echoing through the concrete and 475 granite canyon without! My papers and notes fly from the desk as I rush to 476 the never-to-be-opened window and peer downward. Is it.... Yes! There! 477 By the corner he stands, and the music is joyous to me in its reminders of 478 elder days! 479 480 I hastely straighten the disaster that once was my desk, grab my coat, 481 lock the door, and am down the hall in a flash. C'mon elevator..... C'mon, 482 dammit! The bell finally rings on the row of elevators behind me, and I 483 turn to see that the mechanism is going up and not down. Though it is 484 still lit, I press the down button in my frustration, and curse my luck. 485 The elevators doors shut, the red light goes out, the white one above it 486 comes on, and the doors re-open. Stepping inside, I wonder why these 487 infernal devices can't be just a bit smarter. 488 489 The street at last! But the piper has gone, and only a few coins on 490 the ground mark his passage. My luck continues to run true to form, it 491 seems. Ah, well, I can be assured of finding him at the Inn at one time or 492 another, and though my visits can only be fewer in number than before, I 493 think that I will again be found there as well. Turning a corner that 494 isn't there, I am once again in the wood near the water. It is good to be 495 back. 496 497 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]PAM.[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] 498 499 500 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 501 The practitioner of the fine art of transformation mused to himself 502 as he sipped his latest ale and made a more thorough survey of the diverse 503 group assembled here. Things were beginning to make more sense, or less, 504 as the case may be. Maybe he could even distinguish when he was thinking 505 and when he was talking aloud. Perhaps the fact that there was a phase 506 shift on one channel of a few pico parsecs was of small consequence. Sure 507 the remote control for the multi-phase transmuter was beginning to get a 508 bit warm but he probably wouldn't need it for awhile and could do a poly- 509 dimensional fold and put it away in his 'bag-of-tricks'. He knew that the 510 piper wasn't accustomed to this urban setting and he certainly was more 511 inclined toward a place where the natural course of events was more in 512 evidence. A river cruise sounded like a splendid idea, he could sharpen 513 up his nautical skills in the process... "EIGHT BELLS AND ALL IS WELL", 514 now that certainly had a pleasant ring to it. 515 516 "A cruise up a big river named Kulumbia, you say! It sounds as if it 517 were named my some ancient sea privateer. Well, no matter. I'm not sure 518 if you folks have any sort of floating conveyance in mind, if not might 519 I propose a suggestion? On the way here I noticed that moored to the 520 banks of both rivers (I think the other one is named 'Will-A-Mutt') were 521 some strange and diverse floating structures. They appeared to be houses 522 built on log floats. Perhaps if we could obtain one of these we could 523 alter it to fit our purposes. With someone on the stern with a 'yuloh' 524 to steer the giant beast and of course a full load of ale and other 525 refreshments we could make the trip in style. (Maybe even rig a sail or 526 two if the wind is right.) If we were to choose one with enough style 527 and character maybe PAM could be persuaded to go with us." 528 529 He had picked up the name PAM from the conversation and had surmised 530 that she was a person whose company was greatly missed by several of 531 the patrons. If the rumors were correct it would be a great pleasure to 532 have her company on this adventure up the river. (Better than being up 533 the creek, so to speak.) Only time will tell... 534 "I do have some small skills with water craft and would be happy to lend 535 a hand in whatever way possible. If memory serves me correctly this great 536 river Kulumbia flows to the sea and on occasion the turn of the tide 537 causes the water to flow up stream. By timing or movements to correspond 538 to that there would be very little effort involved in propelling the craft 539 up river to the destination that the apprentice has in mind. When the wind 540 and the current are against us we could anchor the craft or tie it along 541 the bank for a spell. Does such a conveyance have appeal? If there is 542 a local brewery around maybe a detour by there to stock up on drinking 543 stock with some substance to it would be called for." 544 545 With that the bearded traveler of eons stretched out his long 546 frame and called for another draft. He thought to himself, I believe it's 547 time to stop rambling on so and get down to some quiet thirst quenching. 548 `' `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 549 P.S. "piper, thanks for the warning I shall be more careful in the 550 future. It's just that I never did put much value in such things as GOLD. 551 I see PAM is among us but perhaps it would not be appropriate for me 552 as a stranger to address her so soon. Piper I shall look for your 553 guidance in this matter. 554 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 555 DEAREST PAM, WELCOME BACK. - - COLONEL BATGUANO 556 ============================================================================ 557 P.S. FORGIVE ME ALL FOR SPEAKING EN CLARE BUT IT SO HAPPENS ONE OF US IN 558 THIS BATTY CLUB HAS SOME SORT OF BOAT (OH ALEX!!) MAYBE THERE ARE OTHERS 559 AS WELL? P.P.S. ALEX HI TO YOUR WIFE. 560 =========================================================================== 561 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?WELL........I SEE 562 THAT DISC IS FULL SO PERHAPS I'LL TAKE A LITTLE ROOM HERE. I AM QUITE 563 BUSY AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY. COULD I GET ONE OF YOU TO LET MR BBE KNOW 564 IF THERE IS A TOPIC OUT THERE BEING DISCUDSSED?....OR IS IT ALL STORY 565 AGAIN? LEAVE MESSAGE FOR ME, PLEZE, IN ALL CAPS. THANX 566 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! >