LIST FILE ON MARGIN IS 80 STATUS: ALL ALLOWED NUMBER OF LINES: 594 1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask.... 2 ********************** REMOVED: 13 MAR 84 ****************** 3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator 4 ************************************************************ 5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION 6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM. 7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned 8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public. 9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is 10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which 11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be 12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved) 13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the 14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the 15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace 16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up. 17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system. 18 ************************************************************ 19 20 I put (almost) the last entry on db at 12:45 AM. It's now 11:30 PM, & I'm the first one on THIS disk. 21 You sure can tell that finals are coming up. 22 && The (Exausted but) Mad Actor && 23 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 24 I'M MISPLACED?!?!? THE TECHNOLOGY LEVEL SHOWN ON THIS WORLD VARIES SO WIDELY, 25 EVERYTHING HERE IS MISPLACED! I DO HAVE A MISSION HERE, THOUGH. A KNOWN CRIMINAL 26 WAS LAST SEEN IN THE CENTAURI SYSTEM, AND WE FEEL HE MAY HAVE COME HERE. 27 HIS LAST USED NAME WAS "LESLIE MACDONALD". HE IS WANTED FOR SEVERAL THINGS, AMONG 28 THIS IMPORTING HIGH-TEC WEAPONS INTO PRIMITAVE WORLDS, MURDER, DISRUPTION, 29 AND ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OVER DEVELOPING PLANETS WHOSE INHABITANTS ARE TOO DENSE 30 TO SEE THROUGH HIS SCHEMES. OF COURSE, YOU ALL ARE TOO INTELLEGENT TO BE TAKEN 31 IN BY THIS MAN, AREN'T YOU?..... 32 PLEASE TRY TO COOPERATE, OR I WILL HAVE TO USE MORE EFFECIENT MEANS OF FACT-FINDING. 33 MR. POET: SHALL I SHOW YOU MY SHIP'S BOAT I CAME DOWN IN? YOU MAY BE INTERESTED 34 IN IT'S WORKINGS, PATLY THE LASER MOUNT THAT IS UNDER MY REMOTE CONTROL. 35 NOW DON'T DO ANYTHING HASTY, I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE. I WANT TO LEAVE YOU 36 ALONE AS MUCH AS YOU DO. 37 WAIT A MINUTE, WHERE IS EVERYBODY GOING? PEOPLE ARE DISSAPEARING RAPIDLY, 38 AND NOT GIVING ANY INDICATION OF WHERE THEY ARE GOING. PLEASE COME BACK, I NEED 39 YOUR HELP(I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT!). WHAT TECHNOLOGY DO YOU CURRENTLY 40 HAVE AVAILABLE TO YOU? WHY ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THE TIME/ENERGY/MATTER 41 STREAM? WHY ARE THE LOCAL PIGMENTS SO DIFFERENT FROM OTHER WORLDS? PURPLE 42 CHLORIFILL?(I DON'T THINK MY TRANSLATOR IS SPELLING RIGHT.) DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY 43 ANSWERS TO GIVE OR LOCAL ARTIFACTS(IE CLOTHING) TO SELL? PLEASE RELPY! 44 COMMANDER LACELLS 45 GUNNERY OFFICER OF THE REGULON 46 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 47 The Poet paused in his departure for a moment to speak to the disoriented stranger. 48 "Sir, I am afraid that we poor primitive aborigines cannot comprehend, 49 let alone answer your questions. Perhaps the Wizard could. If you'd like to see him just join us in following 50 that baked-clay path over there. It used to reflect at a different wavelength before the apprentice got here. 51 It seems a sort of blue-green, fading off into the ultraviolet, now. 52 Oh, by the way, high-technology weapons are frowned upon here. Piper, could you help our new friend here to 53 avoid undue trouble with the authorities? Perhaps you could replace those unsightly turrets with some nice flower 54 arrangements until he takes off again." 55 && The Mad Actor && 56 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 57 Question: last night when I got on here, DA (now DB) was full, right 58 up to line 629 (so I kinda squeezed my comment in on someones border- 59 sorry 'bout that!) 60 Now I log on and discover that what was line 629 is now 619, and there 61 are 10 new lines. If I had known about this capability, I would 62 have used it, rather than defacing someones border. 63 So---how was this done (or is it a SYSOP trick?) 64 Aside: since some of the characters' patron is going to be absent 65 for the next week (real time {whatever that is, when one is speaking 66 from the INN}) do you suppose the remaining players could try to 67 avoid terminating those defenseless characters? Hardly sporting, you know. 68 :::::::::::::::::::::O O:::::voyeur:::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::::: 69 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 70 voyeur: turn the line numbering on (nu y) and move to a blank line. tell it 71 del then y when it types the line for you and asks "delete?" Mikey's magic 72 blackboard pulls together when you erase a line from it. I'd be glad to pipe 73 your two characters off into some form of stasis if you would tell me who to 74 freeze. (You'll have to remind me to get them back or work out another return) 75 -------------------------- (ahhh! the luxury of a fresh dosisk!!))------------- 76 The piper regarded the being who was asking the strange questions for a time. 77 Was the apprentice hallucinating again? Oh well, no use taking chances, and 78 he was not going to leave the apprentice laying here in the grass without 79 anyone watching closely. The piper lifted the pipes back onto his shoulder, 80 puffed the bag full, struck the bag to start the drones and began to draw notes 81 from the chanter. Hearing a slight discordant beat, he stopped up one tenor 82 drone and the basse drone. The center drone reed was almost gone. Oh well, 83 he adjusted the drone to the best tone it could produce then restarted the 84 others. Looking at the strange visitor, the piper saw him seemingly entranced. 85 On a whim, the piper began a jig. With the strains of "Paddy's Leather 86 Breeches" the visitor's clothing began to change. The silvery suit began to 87 darken, roughen, and grow fringes. Withing a very few minutes the visitor was 88 dressed in a set of fringed buckskin clothing complete with a coonskin cap. 89 His impressive vehicle was changing also. Near the end of the song, the silver 90 vehicle had become larger and more earthy, the sides had become log wa;lls and 91 the gun turret had become a chimney with a wisp of smoke floating out. Was 92 that a look of panic in the visitors eyes as a solidly-built woman wearing 93 a flour-covered apron came to the door of the log cabin and called to the 94 visitor, "Samuel, quit talking to those good-for-nothing ruffians and come 95 inside! Your dinner is getting cold." 96 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 97 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 98 I don't know who he is, but I'm certainly glad we have 99 another visitor. I was tired of being treated like public enemy 100 number one. Taking advantage of my sudden depopularization, I decided 101 it was time to get something from the bar. "Barkeeep!" 102 Fast Fred 103 BSAL 104 ps:Mr. McKane: I can't make any deals right now, as you can see the heat 105 is really on (for now anyway) 106 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 107 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 09 Mar 84 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 108 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 19:20 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 109 She drifted in among the group with a smile curling like a stray 110 wispy lock, and a ripple spread in reaction. With a flourished 111 curtsey and a blush, she honoured the piper's greeting, but when the 112 words of the Bard's bawdy song reached her ears, she stiffened, dashing 113 him one chill look and then brushing past him, declining to speak. 114 Raising an eyebrow at the flustered 'Commander' who was fingering his 115 garments in disbelief, she chuckled quietly when she met the eyes of the 116 befloured woman, who merely rolled her eyes and flounced into the cabin. 117 She espied the apprentice prone on a fantastic matte of colour, so weaved 118 through the milling crowd, nodding at several of the Inn's old-timers, 119 but could not resist responding to the quizzical look of one Inngoer as 120 she passed by; with voice melodic, she addressed him: "Traveller Geo, 121 I am the lady of dragons, come on whispering winds. Whence come you, and 122 why doth you change your name?" Stepping past him, she knelt by the 123 apprentice, swiftly bringing out a small flask with a soft gold sheen, 124 and tenderly tipping his head forward, she administered the liquid. 125 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> d <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 126 -=*=- -=*=- Please, the sunshine calls; wait until Monday! -=*=- -=*=- 127 d:Please accept my apoligies, sometimes when I am "singing" the songs 128 I am so busy making sure that I get the words right that I don't "listen" to the 129 verses! 130 As I try not to edit songs (except to reconcile different versions), I 131 probably shouldn't have "sung" that one at all. 132 Once again, I offer my apology. 133 BARD 134 ps. I hope your glance was not as fierce as the one given the dragon in that 135 drawing we had the misunderstanding about! 136 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 137 Turning Freddie over to TMA for safekeeping, the bard turned towards the 138 stranger. Reaching into his pouch he shuffled through a number of cards. 139 They appeared to be made of some hard, shiny material. Finding the right one, he 140 replaced the others in his pouch. 141 Flashing it at the commander, he spoke. "Commander, consider yourself 142 lucky. Let me give you a short list of the charges we could file. Landing in a 143 restricted area, willful avoidance of customs and quarantine, failure to land at 144 a proper immigration point with official clearance, suspicion of smuggling, and 145 bearing arms without proper authority. Of course there are other matters such as 146 threatening an officer with a deadly weapon, & your pilot's certificate & the 147 ship's regristration papers......." 148 The commander looked at the bard in shock. He opened his mouth, as if 149 to speak & then closed it again. 150 The bard continued, "Now, perhaps we can discuss this a bit more civily?" 151 He steered the commander toward the others, who by this time were regarding 152 the bard rather quizzically themselves. As soon as the commander's back was 153 turned, Kenin caught the piper's eye & winked! 154 #I never *said* that I was an officer, nor did I say what kind, now 155 did I? These types always run in the same pattern.# 156 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 157 The apprentice awoke to find himself supported by d's arms as she removed 158 a flask from his lips. 159 "Milady, this is not seemly! On your knees -- to ME?!", he objected. 160 "I thank thee for rousing me, but I am not worthy of thy notice. After all, I am 161 but an apprentice." 162 He stopped as d gave him a stern look which turned into laughter. He continued 163 (far less formally!) "Milady, what WAS that potion thou gavest me?" 164 ................................the apprentice.................................. 165 Voyeur:I must correct piper, it is a sysop trick. Del will remove the line but 166 not move any lines. 167 On another subject, I fear your are mistaken! The two of whom you speak are 168 going to be here every day (barring accidents!). 169 ******************************************************************************** 170 pppppppppp I humbly stand corrected. (It works on the bottom) pppppppppp 171 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 172 Dear Leroy; 173 As to your terms... I'll accept the task of helping Salazar retrieve 174 the Egg. I've always had a soft spot for him, even if he is a whiner. 175 Also see what I can do with Fast Fred. Unfortunately, I have a feeling 176 he's in no position to buy anything right now. As for stealing the 177 piper's pipes, my mama didn't raise no fool. In other words, I'm not 178 going to tangle with that bunch, sorry. 179 Finally, no I don't have Pam. It's an interesting idea though. If 180 I happen to run across her, I'll snatch her. The Backwater bunch would pay 181 a fortune to get her back. Hmmm... I wonder where she's gotten to, anyway. 182 Cheerfully yours, 183 Mohammed Wassir 184 185 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 186 !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ 187 God, my poison oak itched. The pain shivered up and down my legs like 188 an electric current. Sleep eluded me. Finally, I walked stiff-legged into 189 the bathroom and took that little green pill Serena had given me... Sleep 190 came in a rush. 191 192 A dream... 193 194 I'm running down a long corridor--the walls are vomit green. I hear 195 the patter of feet behind me. The men in the tacky bathrobes are chasing 196 me. I think they want to shave my head. I reach for my .44 -- she's not 197 there. Christ, I've been running forever. The sweat trickles down my 198 face. The saline droplets sting my eyes. Got to get way. Lungs ache.... 199 A door! I stop. Open it. A Victorian boudoir Red and Black... 200 Sexy... I go in... The door shuts behind me. It locks. I wander through 201 the room, touching objects -- Finally getting my breath back. Sense 202 someone behind me... I turn. A beautiful woman stands before me... 203 Shimmering in silk -- her dress shows more than it conceals... She moves 204 to me. We kiss, slowly... I taste her sweet breath... She pushes me 205 down on some cushions. Her voice is like a clear bell... 206 "Don't worry, they can't get you now... My name is Pam." 207 She slowly starts of unbutton her dress... 208 ... 209 Now what's a telephone doing in my dream. I want it to stop. Only 210 it isn't a dream anymore. I struggle to wakefullness, and stab at the 211 telephone on my nightstand. 212 "Yeah, what do you want?" 213 "Salazar? It's Wassir." 214 I'm wide awake now. 215 "Mohammed, what can I do for you?" 216 "McKane's back on the prowl. Watch your step. I hear you're looking 217 for the Egg." 218 "Yeah, either the Egg or Cornielius Hutton, whichever comes first." 219 "You and a hundred other people... some heavy dudes are involved in 220 this one. Listen Salazar, meet me at the 'Dew Droppe Inn' tomorrow at 221 4 o'clock. I might have a deal for you." 222 "O.K., see you tomorrow." 223 224 I quickly roll over and try to find that Victorian boudoir again. 225 No luck. Sleep comes, but my dreams elude me. 226 !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!Valinor!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ 227 228 Don't you think there's too much sex and violence in the Backwater? 229 Pam, you'd better come back to defend yourself. You may end up in an 230 adventure whether you want to or not. Also rumor has it that one of the 231 chaps here has printouts of some of your previous submissions. He might 232 post selected portions. Maybe he should call it: "THE BEST OF PAM" 233 Hmmmmmmm..... 234 Dr. Frankenstupe 235 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_ 236 237 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 238 Thanking the bartender for my ale, I turned my attention to my 239 caretaker. "Actually, if you're looking for the suppleier of 240 my Bolo's, you better get help." My voice suddenly decreased in 241 volume when I saw I had his attention. "That whatever-he-is over there 242 is looking for the same people you are, but I don't think either will 243 have much luck without big, BIG help." I stopped long enough to drain 244 my glass. If you want to stop McDonald, you better find that wizard 245 fellow you were talking about, fast." 246 He looked at me strangly, "why do you tell me this now?" he asked. 247 "The Bolos were on consignment, now that you and your friends have 248 sent them to God knows where, my life expectancy has been greatly 249 reduced. And if he comes for me here, I doubt he'll stop at just 250 me." I ordered another round and waited to see the outcome of the 251 Bard's escapade. 252 Fast Fred 253 BSAL 254 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 255 The VW comes abruptly to a halt. As I gain my bearings, I climb out of my 256 hinding place from under the beasts belly. 257 "Your under arrest, human. You have no right to hang onto my belly." 258 --Wait a minute! Cars can't talk!-- 259 Somehow the VW sucks all of my possesion and lock them in the trunk. I'm 260 then pulled by some force into the backe and locked up. Help! 261 I've never done this before, but here goes. 262 #If anyone gets this message, send help.# 263 The Ninja 264 265 266 Hmmmm... Aliens arrive and they turn out to be just as agressive little 267 snots as we are. So much for galactic civilization. 268 269 Mr. Tim 270 (<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>) 271 272 "Milady, I have acquired many different names in many different 273 realities over the course of my travels, I merely wish to be called 274 'The Traveller' opon this reality, it seems the most fitting." 275 I replied to the Dragon Lady, "May I ask how you come by such a 276 peculiar calling?" 277 278 I look down at the device in my hand momentarily, thumbing 279 to close range. There is the Apprentice, myself but no trace for 280 the nymph standing near. Interesting... 281 282 "Apprentice, you understate yourself, you are not 'only an appentice' 283 changing reality without technoligical aid is no mean feat especially 284 on such a scale, while I myself am lucky to turn a mosquito into a gnat!" 285 286 Now, what is the bard talking about? Maybe we should talk. I, myself 287 came to this reality without passing any customs. I was not aware such 288 things were around in the earlier realities. 289 290 (<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)The Traveller(<>)(<>)(<>) 291 292 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 293 A mild mannered type I, one day while setting out in utilitarian 294 pursuits, as befits my simplicity I came upon a hardware peddlar who 295 proffered me a potion, quaffing which I found it to be a key, a number 296 to an unexpected Land Of BackWater, a 'scape of shifting realities. 297 Be somewhat slab-sided, I momentarily stumbled in my disorientation 298 and came to fear that the habitues of the Inn would think me a bumb- 299 ling blunderer who cannot handle his reality shifts. Therefore, 300 methinks, 'twould be more discreet for now to bide my while, lest I 301 be the unwelcome guest, and find myself piped elsewhere. I bid all 302 well and will observe for now, not wanting to hinder those more adept 303 in their pursuits. 304 GEEZER 305 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++/++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 306 "You are Welcome, sir. It seems that you are in need of an infusion of 307 self-confidence. Perhaps some adventure is called for to stir your blood 308 If you would care to join us perhaps we could turn it to our mutual advantage" 309 The Poet turned from Geezer with a sigh and stepped from his dream. As 310 tired as he was, it was the only way he could find the Inn. Fortunately, 311 it was located in several of his better dream worlds. But it was quite 312 inconvienient having to drop off to sleep every time someone new wanted 313 into the adventure. If there was just some way of blocking the door open... 314 && The Mad Actor && 315 316 317 ============================================ 318 A potato in a dark cellar has certain low cunning about it which serves 319 it in excellent stead. 320 Aqualung 321 ============================================ 322 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 323 Sitting on a park bench eyeing little girls with bad intent SNOT 324 RUNNING DOWN HIS NOSE greasy fingers smearing shabby cloths,hay 325 AUQALUNG... 326 327 would somebody rescue the Man in Gray,he is still triping out on colors. 328 ?????????????????????????The Man in Gray???????????????????????????????????? 329 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 330 the Wizard was watching the diamond react with his spell of protection, 331 for some reason the spell was destroyed.perhaps this phoenex egg can unserp 332 magical forces? 333 upon touching the egg the Wizard felt strange and massive powers lurking 334 within. 335 ::::::::::::::WIZARD::::::::::::::: 336 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 337 The piper, not normally telephathic, was extrememly startled when he 338 "heard" a plea for help from the ninja. He glanced around then understandin 339 slowly dawned. He finished the tune that was going, then smoothly seged 340 into "Clyde Side". This was a pretty problem -- extract the ninja without 341 damage to the BOLO disguised as a VW. 342 He wandered close to the bridge and let reality slip slightly. Couldn't 343 that stream be a little larger? As a river, it was rather small, it really 344 needs more -- authority. Isn't that a power boat racing upstream? A 345 sentient power boat, deprived of any remote effectors... #sorry BOLO, we'll 346 change you back very soon# ... the boat is stopping, an orange rubber raft 347 is thrown out and a cloaked figure is climbing into it ... the boat is 348 fading #goodbye BOLO# ... this river is really too much .... this stream is 349 really too wide, and doesn't match the bridge .... ahh -- that fits. 350 The piper looked down into the bed of the small stream. Seated within 351 an orange life-raft that more than filled the bed of the little stream, 352 the ninja was plying the oars. Stopping the pipes, the piper called down, 353 "If you've had enough exercise, I think I can find you a drink up here." 354 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 355 The apprentice turned to the one called "Traveller", "Milord, that was 356 the problem. I had to use a 'reality pill' which is VERY technological!" 357 Turning now to the Man in Gray, "It is all right, my friend, those 358 colors are really there." 359 ..................................the apprentice................................ 360 Traveller: I hope you aren't wearing black! 361 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 362 :*************************************************************: 363 My Dearest Mohammed: 364 365 All this time I thought the Albanian Revolutionary Party was a 366 top notch terrorist organization. What a disappointment when I 367 learn that you, the cream of their crop, goes around acting 368 like an amateur. 369 370 Do you expect me to believe the Albanians top agent is afraid 371 to steal a bagbipe from a bunch of thugs from Portland (sticks 372 city) Oregon? Give me a break. What are you up to Mohammed? It 373 smells fishy, if you know what I mean. 374 375 Why the phone call to Salazar? You knew I had his phone tapped. 376 What kind of games are you playing? Are you really the amateur, 377 the fool, that you're pretending? Or do you have something up 378 your sleeve I should know about? 379 380 So let's stop playing games. I want those pipes, I want to 381 know what you're up to, and want you to stop screwing around. 382 383 I'm giving you another chance. Here's your next assignment. I 384 I've got Corneilius Hutton. I'll trade her for either PAM or 385 the egg. Arrange it. 386 Your disgruntled employer 387 LeRoy McKane 388 :*************************************************************: 389 R.D. McDonald 390 Bolo Distribution & Supply 391 Chicago, Ill. 392 393 Dear Ronald: 394 395 Negotiations to resupply Fast Fred with new Bolos has broken 396 down because of pressure from you concerning the recent 397 unfortunate incident. 398 399 I'd like to remind you that your losses at Fast Freddies are 400 inconsequential in comparision to your overall business with 401 McKane Enterprises. Back off on Fred if you wish to continue 402 to do business with us. I will compensate you for your loss. 403 404 Cordially 405 LeRoy McKane 406 :***********************************************************: 407 Fast Freddie 408 Fred's Freeway Fanatics 409 Portland, Oregon 410 411 Dear Mr. Freddie: 412 413 After consultation with our international banking interests we 414 have decided to raise your credit limit to $1.5 billion. This 415 is conditional upon all future loans being cosigned by Mr. 416 LeRoy McKane. 417 418 As you may know, as a cosigner, Mr. McKane will require you to 419 post one of your daughters as collateral; two if they are ugly. 420 421 We look forward to doing business with you. 422 423 Charles Bradwell 424 U.S. Bankcorp 425 :*************************************************************: 426 OH GOD! NOW THEY'VE EVEN GOTTEN U.S. BANKRUPT INTO THE ACT! 427 428 ............................................................. 429 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 430 Leroy; 431 Sorry you are upset with me. But as the old Chinese proverb goes: 432 'That's the way the fortune cookie crumbles'. But maybe we can do business, 433 then again maybe not. 434 First Cornelius Hutton is male... not a 'she'. Somehow, Leroy, I have 435 doubts as to whether you really have him. In any case I don't want him. 436 If I locate either the Egg or Pam, you'll have to come up with cold hard 437 cash for either one. I think Salazar might be willing to cut a deal for 438 Hutton, but I have an idea he would get much more satisfaction from blowing 439 you away. As long as you play straight with me, I won't tell him you're 440 involved. 441 As for the piper's pipes, there still is no deal. I have no desire to 442 have a purple nose and polka-dot tush. If I stumble across them, I'll 443 snatch them; otherwise, forget it. 444 I would appreciate any information on the location of either the Wizard 445 or Pam. Hope this clears up any understanding. 446 Mohammed Wassir 447 448 P.S. I'll let the slurs about being a crummy terrorist pass for now. If 449 you repeat them, I may make *YOU* my next assignment! 450 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 451 Now where did that Pam get to? Here Pam, Pam... --Wassir-- 452 -------------------- 453 IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS A DRUM SET THEY WOULD LIKE TO SELL, OR KNOWS OF ANY 454 ONE WHO DOES.. CAN YOU PLEASE CONTACT ME AT HOME? 455 456 656-xxxx (OREGON CITY) 457 AFTER 4:00 PM AND BEFORE 9:30 PM WEEKDAYS. (NOT HOME WEEKENDS, SORRY). 458 459 SINCERELY YOURS 460 JODY 461 P.S. DOES ANYONE OUT THEE REMEMBER ME?? 462 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 463 464 When he awoke, the Poet was glad to see that Freddy was still where 465 he'd left him. Hypnotizing him into thinking he was in the Inn was a 466 more effective method than he could have hoped for. In a reality with as 467 much slack as this one it had its drawbacks, however, as was evidenced 468 by the erstwhile Bolo huckster's incapacatating inebriation and the pile 469 of empty ale mugs around his feet. Oh, well... at least he wasn't trying 470 to run away... 471 && The Mad Actor && 472 473 ************************************* 474 Dear Sirs, 475 476 Please look out you window and seeif the world is being invaded by purpl 477 s 478 :(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*):(*) 479 CARE TO TRY THAT ONE AGAIN???? 480 481 P.S. (ABOUT THE DRUM SET..) DON'T CALL BY MODEM PLEASE. ONLY VOICE. 482 *************************************************: JODY :******************* 483 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 484 Yes Jody,we remember you. 485 486 Getting up slowly from the pink grass the man in gray shook his head and 487 wondered "how do I get back to the inn" he thought foor a while and 488 concentrated on the apprenttice..."help,apprentice,where is everything?" 489 The Man in Gray 490 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 491 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 492 alright, alright already!!!! at first glance I thought you people to be 493 too primitive too converse on an equil level. most low-tech societys only 494 understand volence. I see that I am now mistaken. I did want some period 495 clothes but I don't think these fit the bill(he said,looking down at his new 496 threds). I may have been a little pushy at first but I assure you I had all 497 the necessary papers in my ship. I don't think the papers are in the cabin 498 however. I see now that I need your help to catch McDonald. I will follow 499 you to the Wizard if he can help me. 500 Piper:I appreciate your need for safety,but after I am done, could I have 501 my ship back?!? the clothes I can use for a museum. please do this for me! 502 humbly yours, 503 Commander Lacells 504 p.s. due to a problem with equipment(transmuting to 19th century items) I 505 am prevailing on the Man in Gray for communications. thanks 506 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 507 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 508 the egg...it's glowing... 509 slowly picking up the artifact the Wizard 510 found that he could see and hear everything that the crazed backwater group 511 was thinking... 512 513 514 Commander Lacells:I MAY help you maybe! 515 Bard:I may make it back myself,but help would be nice! 516 Piper:very good work with the Ninja,I think that your pipes and the egg I 517 have are soon to be very hot items! 518 ::::::::::WIZARD:::::::::::::::: 519 [][][] HI 520 521 Geezer; 522 This is just a guess, but are you by any chance calling from an 523 unusually small terminal? One with a LCD display & batteries? If so, I 524 think I know who you are; didn't I tell you this was a different sort 525 of place??? Happy Modeming! 526 && The Mad Actor && 527 *********************** 528 O.K., 529 One more time: 530 Please look out 531 your window and see if 532 your neighborhood is 533 being invaded by purple 534 cows. 535 (Doesn't sound so 536 good now that I've had 537 a chance to think about 538 it for awhile) 539 %%%%%%%%%%%GANDALF%%%%% 540 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% 541 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 542 The piper lifted his pipes to his shoulder and played the first five bars of 543 "The Black Bear's Hornpipe", then stopped abruptly. In the ensuing silence, 544 he called out, "If anybody want's to head back to the inn and sit the rest of 545 this out, better move now. I'll pipe whoever wants to go back to the inn. 546 The rest of us should start moving out. We are going to be a stationary target 547 if we hang around here much longer." 548 He walked over to a large log laying next to the path. "On the log to head 549 back to the inn!" The piper began the first strains of "Too Long in This 550 Condition" and the log started to stir slightly. He glanced over at the upset 551 commander and did not see who rode the log back to the inn. Walking back o 552 the group, "Commander, I'll be glad to restore your ship later. In the while, 553 we are looking to prevent arms from being imported into our peaceful reality 554 back at the inn. If this MacDonald is involved in this traffic, we'll toss 555 him to you when we run across him. In the meantime, you might check and see 556 if you have any powder and balls for that long rifle hanging over the mantle 557 in your cabin." Not waiting for an answer the piper inflated the pipes and 558 began playing a sprightly march, "MacNiell of Uigsdale", and started down the 559 road. Within a few yards, the brick surface changed to a bright, uniform 560 yellow. Turning his head, the piper saw the company beginning to move off 561 along the road. Keeping the pace slow, he moved through the warm summer air. 562 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 563 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 564 To: Mr. LeRoy McKane 565 Re: Bussness options 566 567 Dear Mr McKane, 568 I would like to thank you for getting the heat off 569 me in the recent incedent concerning the Bolos. I would 570 also like to say that if I ever begin such an undertaking 571 again it will be a pleasure doing bussness from you, it isn't 572 often someone looks out for his investments so generously. 573 Fast Fred 574 BSAL 575 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 576 Even in my drunken state, I saw that the group was getting ready to head out 577 along, of all things, a Yellow brick road? Not really knowing how to get out of 578 this reality, I decided to yell at the poet, "Does this mean I'm free to to go?" 579 He scowled at me and grabbed my arm. Oh well, Follow the yellow brick road.... 580 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ FAST FRED @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ BSAL @@@@@@@@@ 581 ^M, ^H ? ^H^I ^L^C ^I ^H ^M ^I^H ! 582 JUST [HI]? AND NOTHING ELSE? +++++++++ I.S. ++++++++++++++++++++++;; 583 Tell me why the stars do shine; 584 Tell me why the ivy twines; 585 Tell me why the skies are blue; 586 And I will tell you why I love you. 587 588 Nuclear fusion makes the stars to shine; 589 Tropisms make the ivy twine; 590 Rayleigh scattering makes skies so blue; 591 Testicular hormones is why I love you. 592 593 Please come back, Pam. I'm not very good at this. 594 |!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!|!___THE SILVER GHOST___|!|!|!|!|!| >