From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:34:36 Message Number 15501 SA> (Explaining her inability to copy the humiliation Fest. I think I can accomodate you there. I have one, and the wiring. Bring yourself, your VCR, and a blank tape. We can copy the Fest, the WHAM! video (for you) and Heavy Metal (for me and you, if you want a copy) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:37:47 Message Number 15502 Does she like Pina Coladas; getting caught in the rain....etc. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Banana??? Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:42:08 Message Number 15503 SA> So what are YOU into? Everything. (hehehehe) (I told you all the things I'm into without really telling you anything.) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: 15000 Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:45:18 Message Number 15504 SA> H.mmmmm I'll ask around about that one. :) You could ask my new girlfriend about it at the picnic tomorrow, assumin (assuming) of course, that we can get a ride. (sniff sniff) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: TURTLE Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:48:49 Message Number 15505 T> (spewing about bs concerning a tape that he doesn't even have T> in his possession.) Tough. I think Saavik (she's the one who taped it) will let me have a copy. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: TURTLE Subject: Scarves & You Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:51:23 Message Number 15506 T> *ding* i say we keeep after this one until she tells us, though. Definitely. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Why not? Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:54:15 Message Number 15507 DFY> My message (#15174) was NOT a complete waste of disk space. I DFY> enjoyed writing it... I guees you just assmued that everyone else would enjoy reading it. Wrong. DFY> and it gave an excuse for message #15036 to be a really important DFY> message. Like this is an excuse for your original message (#15174). Very lame. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:57:56 Message Number 15508 DFy> I prefer chocholate sauce. Too bad you'll never get a cherry to go with that chocolate sauce. (hehehe) =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:15:50 Message Number 15509 >I did borrow it,I'm the one who broke it!!!!!!!!! Aaargh! I didn't know that... >I bet you didn't know that, huh, did ya???? Well, now that you mention it...no. =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:18:15 Message Number 15510 >When it's time (you know that maturity thing) I'll call you and Kelly! I'm flattered. Seriously. =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:18:56 Message Number 15511 >I prefer honey and ice... You know, McDonald's has these little honey packets that are just ideal for that sort of thing. You gotta wonder if the guy who designed the things wasn't thinking about that, in fact... =========== From: TURTLE To: KNIGHT OWL Subject: twisted... Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:22:42 Message Number 15512 >Yeah, I remember Twisted Sister. They weren't around too long... >They probably got married to some Village People they came across. Naah. Dee Snyder (Twisted Sister's lead singer) is about as straight as they come. He's also really, really intelligent, remarkably articulate, and in general the living antithesis of the rest of the group. Last I heard, after he testified in front of the Senate during that 'ban nasty rock music' flap a few years back, he got a real estate license or some such obscure thing and started selling houses. Go figure. =========== From: TURTLE To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Index Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:28:36 Message Number 15513 >And Please, for Saaviks Benefit, (SP?) Where would Tofu be? You Got me. I won't go Near the Stuff. I can Tell you where it Won't Be...In My apartment. Nasty! =========== From: TURTLE To: CRYSTAL Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:30:34 Message Number 15514 >Turtle are you limiting me again? Never. I hardly think 'no whips' is a /limitation/... =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:31:18 Message Number 15515 >How 'bout child pornography -- even if the child says [s]he agrees? Nope, bad argument. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit disappointed in you for raising it...I didn't expect that outa you. A child is not sexually developed, and a child's sex organs are not capable of sexual activity. Sex with a child generally results in injury to that child. Also, a child is BY DEFINITION absolutely **not** capable of giving informed consent to any sexual practice. Therefore, your argument doesn't work. =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Huh? Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:35:40 Message Number 15516 >...the idea of people coming from tens of miles to hear me rant and >rave sounds like fun. And you do it very well, might I add. =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:40:17 Message Number 15517 That's GREAT! I /love/ that 'depth sounding'...so where can I pick up a subscription to this magazine, huh? =========== From: TURTLE To: SAAVIK Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:42:04 Message Number 15518 >Soon, mine little reptile, soon........ 'Mine little reptile'?? Hey, don't advertise it or everyone will want one! =========== From: TURTLE To: SAAVIK Subject: *Ding* Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:50:12 Message Number 15519 T>Was it good for you, too? S>It was wonderful. *ding* =========== From: TURTLE To: RUFUS Subject: Life (sigh) Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:52:54 Message Number 15520 >Hell, I live for the weekends when I can just pop on some music, grab >some Dew, and metabolize the hours away. Really? Isn't it more fun to metabolize sugar? Metabolizing an arbitrary length of time's a little too...uh, abstract for me. =========== From: TURTLE To: SAAVIK Subject: Groupies Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:57:05 Message Number 15521 >(Saavik snickers as she sees Turtle slink under the couch) Hmph. You're enjoying this, aren't you? =========== From: TURTLE To: SAAVIK Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:58:15 Message Number 15522 >I called a BBS the other night and the Sysop...preached to me for >20 minutes. Really? Which system? (Answer in E-Mail if you like.) A religious bent that strong is one of the things I like to make note of in the BBS list. >Yeah, now I'm going to burn in Hell because after 20 minutes of this... >I hung up. You actually tolerated it for that long? That's remarkable. If someone came on that heavy-handed to me, I'd tell him something along the lines of 'If you really believe that you are preaching God's word, may I suggest you stop going about it like an arrogant sonofabitch or you're likely to have your own message thwarted by your hamhandedness, and that being the case you're obviously more interested in stoking your own ego than in doing God's work' and slap him with the ol' NO CARRIER =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:04:37 Message Number 15523 >I thought the idea: "Anything is okay among two (or more) willing >people" was just stretching a good point too far. Not at all. The key phrase is "willing people". Someone who cannot give ***informed consent*** can reasonably be said to be 'unwilling' even if it is, say, a child who's been browbeaten into it. And in the other cases you mentioned (flashers, peeping toms) the person who's BEING flashed or peeped most likely did not give consent and is therefore not "willing". Your argument /still/ doesn't hold any water, I'm afraid. =========== From: TURTLE To: ALL Subject: -Please Read- Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:08:46 Message Number 15524 This system is currently experiencing all sorts of technical difficulties stemming from a bad floppydrive and has been crashing an average of once a day lately, with associated loss of a couple of messages each time. Please be patient if this happens to you...I've written a watchdog program that will re-start the system after a crash, but it's still got problems. Bear with us, and please refrain from posting in the storyboard until the problem has been corrected...I don't want to lose any storyboard messages. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:35:23 Message Number 15525 DFy> Trust me.....it works much better if you start the relationship DFYy> out as a manage a troiu (or whatever)...than if you try to add DFy> on to the relationship. Like you know, right? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:38:36 Message Number 15526 DFy> Talking about dropping cats and BLEACH!) Pathetic. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Scarves & You Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:45:53 Message Number 15527 N to TS> Really, I just your normal Ohio person. Since when were people for Ohio normal? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:48:49 Message Number 15528 WOW!!!!! CONGRADS!!!!!! BIG TIME!!!!!! I so happy for you. I think that's very good news, I've been worried about you. Now, about marriage. (slap slap) you're too young. (slap) Come back to reality....don't let the relief of her not being pregnant cloud your perception. (slap slap) You're too young. How long have you known this girl? Hasn't it only been a short time? (slap) Don't you dare get married, finish school first and get a SECURE job. THEN, and only THEN, (if you two are still together) can you START to think about getting married. Understand? Good! =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Kissing Wookies Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:55:06 Message Number 15529 TO> That night on the Car hood with the Duct Tape? Umm...would you care to elaborate on that? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:58:09 Message Number 15530 TO> Nor have an Ego as Big, but we love you anyways... Grrr....oh, okay. (sign) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:01:23 Message Number 15531 DFy> Would you like to become the Assistant False Prophet of the DFy> Armadillo? Geez...give him a little power and he starts trying to drag everybody into his false religion. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:04:33 Message Number 15532 More wasted disk space....*yawn* .....zzzzzzzzzzzzz...(boring)... =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Back seat Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:09:02 Message Number 15533 R> Harasshole. Hey! WAtch your mouth. Boy. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:10:20 Message Number 15534 R> Teachin is a lot different from preaching. I don't care if someone is preaching or teaching....either way, I don't want to hear. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:14:33 Message Number 15535 R> ....have a large snake mistake your scrotum for a meal and latch on. OUCH (wincing uncontrollably as I envision the pain of that experience.) Oh god, don't post such things. (twitch twitch) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: the tape Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:17:56 Message Number 15536 SA> I don't think I'm going to make it to the Picnick... Well, Turtle said that usually some of the people head over to his place afterward. I'd better see you tomorrow...I want you to meet my new girlfriend, =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: BBS: GOD callin Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:21:34 Message Number 15537 Sometime give my the number to that BBS. I want to call and it and have some fun with that moron. I know have to deal rather effectively when those religious types. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: why? Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:27:43 Message Number 15538 *yawn* =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: ALL Subject: girlfriend Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:37:00 Message Number 15539 Finally, after what seemed like forever, I've met someone I really like. She will be coming with me to the picnick tomorrow. See ya all there! =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: TURTLE Subject: Religeon Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:12:21 Message Number 15540 To prevent you from burning in the fiery balls of hell, i thought that you may wish to know that the church of the sub-genius still has their special on (eternal salvation or triple your money back) Then again, if you choose to take your chances with some other insurance, don't come crying to me if your M&M s start to melt in your hand. =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: NEPHRENDANA Subject: ????? Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:21:08 Message Number 15541 What the hell is a normal Ohio person? Who is to say what is normal? If i want to build a Polynesian longship in my garage, isn't that my own business? How come roaches won't eat twinkie fillings? What exactly are fish sticks? =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SAAVIK Subject: Smart 1 or Amy? Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:49:51 Message Number 15542 SA>Well, didn't you argue that a gun would take care of my puppie's SA>patroling? It's no longer a puppie, it's a full grown dog. And, yes, that's what I said, but I never implied that *I* would personally remedy your dog's patrolling. Ya can't call a dog that has grown to hip or thigh high a "puppie" anymore; puppies are cute, dogs are a bother. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SAAVIK Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:53:20 Message Number 15543 TS>Wrong. SA>Why? You asked. Remember that. First of all there are some sexual practices which are just plain sick. No, strike that. FIrst and foremost and to the end of all, there are some sexual practices which are just plain sick. Other than that, I think your statement was accurate. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SAAVIK Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:55:02 Message Number 15544 TS>Thier smell makes me nauseous, too. SA>You have obviously never smelled a "kitty litter" box then. Oh, yes I have, I have owned a few cats, remember? But my "kitty litter" box doesn't wander around the house spreading it's noxious smell, hopping up on the couch long enough to contaminate it or all over the living room rug...and my "kitty litter" box doesn't wander all over the house spreading fleas, and it doesn't jump up on me when I walk in the door, or drool all over me...or a hundred other messy and smelly things. And you can keep a "kitty litter" box's odor to a minimum by changing it a mere twice a week, (with proper sanitized litter). Dogs stink 24 hours a day, you can never really keep them from smelling bad. (Flame off...sorry.) =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:04:14 Message Number 15545 I consider the source. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:04:37 Message Number 15546 DF>I agree completely. The smell of cats makes ME nausesous, too. You are allergic to cats. How could you possibly know what they smell like? I consider the source. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: TURTLE Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:07:01 Message Number 15547 Hey, when am I supposed to talk that chick outta joining the military? =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:07:54 Message Number 15548 N>Really, I'm just your average normal Ohio person. Really...I am from PA myself, and I never met an average normal Ohio person...who are you> you? YOu? =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:09:58 Message Number 15549 DFc> I don't have to worry anymore! ???! =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:10:59 Message Number 15550 DFc>I don't have to worry anymore! TS>???! DF>[she's not preggers!] Awesome! Hey, that's great, dude! I mean, well, kinda - "Oh, well..." but hey, I'm glad to see that you are out of a jam! Think you oughta find some way to patch your family thing, though.... As for marriage, well, if she's serious now, she'll be serious then... wait for a little while, that's what I'd do. (Course, I'm 25, and I've been convinced that I wanted to get married twice...but kept it to myself -- I'm still single.) Here's my generic reply - "Kinda yong to get married, aintcha?" Hmm... can you afford a wife? If so, go for it! =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:17:06 Message Number 15551 SS>The Steel Top....no batteries look like it or last like it. TH1>Nor have an Ego as BIG, *DING* =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:20:36 Message Number 15552 DFy>How deep is your ecology commitment? Heheh. Come take a ride in my 440 and then we'll discuss it...heheh. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: RUFUS Subject: ' Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:24:52 Message Number 15553 R>We have it at our piddly old high school as an elective. R>I don't see the problem offering it on the high school level if there R>is enough intrest. As an elective, sure. But as a required course? I don't think so. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:33:58 Message Number 15554 Shut up. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:34:25 Message Number 15555 Wrong. Period. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:40:27 Message Number 15556 SS>More wasted disk space ... *yawn* ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...(boring)... *Ding!* =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: logic Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:02:30 Message Number 15557 C'mon, now: things exist/don't exist on a variety of levels of reality: no contradiction there.... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: zoom modems Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:08:46 Message Number 15558 Yer right: stay away from 'em if ya can.... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: KNIGHT OWL Subject: Picnick Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:09:22 Message Number 15559 Hey, can ya make it to this one? Got some great giveaways! How 'bout (this is inCREDible!): a REAL, working XT keyboard! Brand new books on "C", a REAL, WORKING, MULTITASKING OPERATING SYSTEM! (List $495)... all, just GIVEN away!! Why? Because...ummm,,,we're CRAZY!! And I need some ROOM! All sorts of weird stuff! How bout a working all-channel CB receiver (NEW), perfect for a car (no tuning: sorta like a scanner).. And more.....much too numerous to list: and the regulars should all be there..... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: SAAVIK Subject: zoom modem Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:12:56 Message Number 15560 yer right (too)....if it works, keep it. I knew a guy who had a Yugo for 28000 miles!! Great mileage too...... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: SAAVIK Subject: breaking habits Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:17:38 Message Number 15561 My support, too: I know how tough it can be....been smokin' cigs for more than 20 years, and knowing all that time I should quit...and not bein' strong enuf to do it.... I admire anyone who can do it!! (from a nice Jewish boy, quoting Nazi philosopher: That which does not kill me makes me strong).....doesn't work for me...... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: SAAVIK Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:24:23 Message Number 15562 Wow....good luck: I'd be careful about hanging up on God's Front Man. I'd like to take a course, "Humor in Religion", or maybe "God's Little Quirks".... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: Floppy Drive Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:27:37 Message Number 15563 If ya need another floppy drive, lemme know...... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: P.WHIPPED Subject: Guarantee Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:28:48 Message Number 15564 Hey, down heah in SOUTH Sarasota, we got the Italian Church of the Double Cross - salvation or we break your legs..... 'Course, I go to a SERIOUS church, Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility, not much fun.... =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Asst. Prophet Date & Time: 04/19/91 21:07:02 Message Number 15565 DrF> Would you like to become an assistant False Prophet... Th1> Indeed I would, what does it entail? The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment, an utter lack of knowledge about the religion of the Shining Path (or at least an ability to fake it!), and at least three-fourths of a brain. You, sir, are eminently qualified. The False Prophet, //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Cats Flying Date & Time: 04/19/91 21:11:17 Message Number 15566 >If you hang Fishing Weights from their Collars you can get Truly >AMAZING Velocity out of a feline. Amazingly fun things to do with cats: 1. Teach it to surf. 2. Feed your baby sister to one. (Thanks, Max!) 3. Tie tails together. Bet on tug-o-war. 4. Put it on a leash. 5. Try to teach to roll over, or play dead. 6. Put cat-nip in a pit bull's collar. I mean, what can be done with cats? They sleep, they eat, and they take the best seat in the house. Sheesh. A dog-loving //Dragonfly// =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Car Hoods Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:30:01 Message Number 15567 SS> ...would you care to elaborate on that? No but If you like, I could demonstrate. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Why yourself. Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:33:16 Message Number 15568 Scott, you have this nasty habit of Knocking on posts you decide are boring. Please Stop( Said in a normal Voice) Some of us /LIKE/ those posts. Thanks Ingrown Hare =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Sick Stuff Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:36:10 Message Number 15569 TS> (To Saavik) There are some sexual practices that are just plain sick But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!!! Thumper One I might have said that to the wrong person eh? =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: *DING* Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:40:31 Message Number 15570 TS> *DING* Thank you, I love To occasionally deflate people. but not to often. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Dillos Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:44:50 Message Number 15571 DF> The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment, So Perhaps the Shining Path could be rendered in a rear-to-bottom area of any Non-Yuppish Lifeforms Cranial Void? SNARF! Lo! There was Nothing, only the endless Expanse of Tofu-Void. When the Perfect void was Corrupted by the Expansion of Armored Quadropeds. Each being of sound body, and commanding an intensly gnarly Id, the Ethereal spirits of 'Dillo realized a collective Mind. And So began the Endless quest for total, yet subtle dominion over all Living Beings in an Obscure, yet nifty Plane of Existence. ...and so, the next time you see an Armadillo in the road, do not attempt to hit it with your VW Rabbit,( Even if it's mind would once again become one with the Quasi-Id of 'Dillo) But rather, Stop, and Allow it to continue on it's way. Then you may count yourself among the Blessed. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: ALL Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:58:31 Message Number 15572 I haven't done this in sooo Long, I thought I'd just try to do it again to see if I'm still in practice... NEW! NOW AVAILABLE FROM STOMP BUNNIES INTERNATIONAL ***************************************** The Amazing Feline Gender Generator!!! -------------------------------------- You say "Kitty" is to Moody? Maybe we should have her "Fixed"? "Tom" getting on your nerves with that Spraying of the Shag Carpet? Well Kiss that Ol' "Fixed" Idea Goodbye! YES! NOW YOU TO CAN PRODUCE PERFECTLY GOOD SEXLESS CATS! "Impossible!" "Immoral!" "You're A Sick Pup! $^%@^#" Well its totally Painless, Clean And Won't Irritate your Sinuses! Contents of your Kinky Kitty Gender Jumbler: Kitty Stirrups Kitty Kuffs Kat Nip (This is Important) And Tuck A 12'X15' Operating Tarp Wet/Dry Shop Vac Spackling Paste Nair The Gender Generator Itself, A 8"X11" Glossy of Steve Martin- -In his Famed Dental Gear. All this and More For the Easy price of $69.95!!! Who could ask for more??? And Remember... If your Kitty's Being Bad, Dont Beat it's Butt, Tear out a Gonad. Also Available from Stomp Bunnies Int. Home Apendectomy Tool----The Kitchen Rectal Cauterizer, And Our Best Seller, Happy Hamster Nasal Reamer. "Carve with the Best" "Malpractice like the rest..." =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Cats Flying Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:06:30 Message Number 15573 DF> [ A list of things to do with / to cats.] ROFL!!! There are 2 cats that I like though... Sylvester & Garfield, Especially the latter one. I have always liked dogs, I wish I had a Great Dane... L8R! Knight Owl =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:12:24 Message Number 15574 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I wish that I could have seen some of your other commercials. that was GREAT! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... Cough... Cough... ROFL & GAC (Got A Concussion) L8R! /zzzzzzzz....(boring)..... --- >Hey! Watch your mouth. --- >...either way, I don't want to hear. Geez! Somebody give this man a cigarette. =========== From: TURTLE To: P.WHIPPED Subject: Religion Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:55:23 Message Number 15576 >...if you choose to take your chances with some other insurance, don't >come crying to me if your M&M s start to melt in your hand. You're weird. Obviously, the Wandering Aardvark of Unrequested Silly Things has blessed you in /triplicate/, boy. Everyone knows that M&M's are unconditionally guaranteed not to melt in your hand or your soul is granted free passage to the hereafter...and in fact last I heard the M&M/Mars company even had a most generous policy of sending two of their representatives, Guido and Victor, to help see your soul off on its journey if you filed a claim against them. What wonderful people... =========== From: TURTLE To: P.WHIPPED Subject: ????? Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:59:08 Message Number 15577 >If i want to build a Polynesian longship in my garage, isn't that >my own business? Only as long as it doesn't stick out into your neighbor's driveway and make him late for work. I /hate/ that. >What exactly are fish sticks? Breaded fungus. =========== From: TURTLE To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:00:49 Message Number 15578 TS>[Lots of arguments against the theory that kitty litter boxes are as smelly as dogs] Bravo! Encore! You ever notice if you touch a dog your hand smells like dog for /weeks/? At least cats are reasonably clean. =========== From: TURTLE To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:02:11 Message Number 15579 >Hey, when am I supposed to talk that chick outta joining the military? Good question. To tell you the truth, *I* haven't seen her myself for a long time...her parents just flew up from the Virgin Islands for a visit and as a result she's kind of inacessable. I'm still trying, though. =========== From: TURTLE To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:05:37 Message Number 15580 >Heheh. Come take a ride in my 440 and then we'll discuss it...heheh. [ROFL] I like it, I like it...heheheh. =========== From: TURTLE To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: breaking habits Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:07:43 Message Number 15581 >...that which does not kill me makes me strong... Except for oxygen depravation, of course. =========== From: TURTLE To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:08:29 Message Number 15582 >"God's Little Quirks"... I like it! Say, the duck-billed platypus, and Nietsche (living, or once- living, proof that God can take a joke), and the virgin birth thing... =========== From: TURTLE To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: Floppy Drive Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:12:17 Message Number 15583 >If ya need another floppy drive, lemme know... I need another floppy drive!!! =========== From: TURTLE To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: Guarantee Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:13:24 Message Number 15584 The Italian Church of the Double Cross? That has got to stand as one of the single funniest things in living memory. I oughta get some business cards printed up for it...heh heh heh. Say, have you ever read 'The Book of the Sub-Genius'? Talk about your obscure religion...everyone follows a middle-aged 50's door-to-door salesman named J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Cats Flying Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:15:37 Message Number 15585 >I mean, what can be done with cats? They sleep, they eat, and they >take the best seat in the house. Precisely. They're not obnoxiously easy to please, and they aren't easily impressed. Haven't we been through this already? Dogs, on the other other hand...what can you do with THEM? They slobber, they drool, and they bring you things you throw away. *yawn* =========== From: TURTLE To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Dillos Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:19:28 Message Number 15586 >'Dillo-Id...void...planes of existance...armadillos...VW Rabbits... >armadillos...The Blessed. Hey, Dragonfly, I think you've found your Assistant False Prophet! Now all you need is a schism in the ranks of False Prophetdom, and the formation of a new False Church, and possibly a dramatic act like the nailing of the Theses of False Salvation on your computer's screen, and you'll be /really/ set! All the /other/ religions have schisms... May the Aardvark of Happiness piddle on you both in a public place. =========== From: TURTLE To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:28:03 Message Number 15587 That, my friend, was in rather poor taste. =========== From: RUFUS To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Back seat Date & Time: 04/20/91 04:47:56 Message Number 15590 >Hey! WAtch your mouth. Err, if you insist. >Boy. Ouch, oh jeez. Did that ever hurt. :P =========== From: RUFUS To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/20/91 04:49:11 Message Number 15591 >I don't care if someone is preaching or teaching...either way, I don't >want to hear. That's okay. But some people may want to hear, so it should be offered in lowely ole high school. =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: TURTLE Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:32:24 Message Number 15592 Your were there( of course in another room, but still you were there ) don't you remember? =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: TURTLE Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:34:17 Message Number 15593 Thank you! You know it's really nice having friends like you and Kelly! I don't know what I would with out you two! So, I'm the one who should be flattered! =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: TURTLE Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:37:30 Message Number 15594 So, where the nearest McDonald's? Just kind of wondering? =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Scarves & You Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:40:39 Message Number 15595 There not? Since when? Why don't people tell me these things?? =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: P.WHIPPED Subject: ????? Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:44:19 Message Number 15596 I'm a normal Ohio Person( well at least I think so). >Who is to say what is normal? to each his own. >isn't that my own business? uh, yeah I guess. >How come roaches won't eat twinkie fillings? I would take that as a sign. If something that could survive through a nuclear war wouldn't eat it, I sure wouldn't!!!!!!!!!!!!! >fishsticks?? Heck, if I know! =========== From: NEPHREDANA To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:53:14 Message Number 15597 Your average everyday normal theatre major! =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/20/91 09:18:07 Message Number 15598 Grrrrrrrr...... =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/20/91 09:20:34 Message Number 15599 Boy, you hate it don't you when I nail your ass to the wall with your own logic. Bon't ya. =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: breaking habits Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:10:08 Message Number 15600 True, and probably a few thousand other things, at least on the level of metabolic reality.... =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:10:52 Message Number 15601 >>"God's Little Quirks"... Or God's shouting down to a few huddled groups, "OK, you guys (heh heh heh), now I want you to shave yer heads (well leave just a little pony tail), dress in robes, and hang out at airports...(heh heh)..." =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: Floppy Drive Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:12:31 Message Number 15602 call, and remind me re that other thing ya needed (see? I already fergot -- oh, yeah, the monitor!!) 955-4001 ---and thanks for leading the SUCS (Sarasota Underground Crazy Society) to the Picnick!!! Great show!! =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: TURTLE Subject: Guarantee Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:14:04 Message Number 15603 Re Church of the Sub Genius...yeah, I read about it somewhere, and skimmed through one of Dobbs' books at a flea market: REALLY weird... =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Asst. Prophet Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:32:00 Message Number 15604 DFy> The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment, an utter lack DFy> of knowledge about the religion...You, sir, are eminently qualified Look whose talking!! =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Car Hoods Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:34:32 Message Number 15605 Never mind. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: TURTLE Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:42:27 Message Number 15606 Well, personally, I don't like the fact that dogs sniff the genital area of every guest that comes into your house. Another annoying thing that they did is the way they lick their genital area in full view of everybody. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:45:20 Message Number 15607 R> ...it should be offered in lowely ole high school. Isn't that "lowly?" (hehehe) =========== From: DIRTY WRAT To: TURTLE Subject: Cat smell Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:53:37 Message Number 15608 Cat urine is the most vile thing to come out of a living organism (with the possible exception of an elephant in need of Kaopectate(SP?)) Reasonably clean my arse. I like cats, though. You have to >>persuade<< them to get out of your way. A skill useful in many other aspects of life. --+>>W>W =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:51:58 Message Number 15612 Well, Hmm. I dunno. I think that if/when I did get marrried to her, it would be out of love. I mean, if you love someone enouh, then why do you have to have something else to go with it? Hmm. blah ... /| Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: RUFUS Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:53:36 Message Number 15613 Blah...that is not good. Hmm. That is also a bad sign. Could it be that the female has something wrong with her? BLAH !!! :) /| Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: SAAVIK Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:55:16 Message Number 15614 Hmm. Well, I guess that would be EXTREMELY good. Although, what she does when I am not around is what she does. I cannot tell if she has/hasn't taken any form of birth control or not. Although I doubt she would lie to me about it. But, what if, in a year, or two, (or t -- or three!), we are ready for a child? Then what? And I have also heard that woman on the 'Pills' can have messed up children if they take it for too long. Hmm. Well, Anyways, I shall go...And thanks for the help that you have given... ::smooch:: /| Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: SAAVIK Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:59:17 Message Number 15615 Well, Hmm. I would like to take it slow, although it seems that it isn't going slow. I mean, look at all of the days that have already passed...I mean, god. My life seems to be going too fast,and if am going to be in this world, then I must go at the speed of time.... I am also thinking of something else. That is, I have been thinking to myself, and it seems that I have no recollection as to why I am on this earth. (STUMPER FOR ME), and why there is life, and why there is time, Why Ask Why?, Try Bud Dry! Blah (bad thought!) Anyways, I am stumped about this now ... /| Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:29:53 Message Number 15617 Sorry about thjehe last letter... things just got really messed up with my resident terminal program. (Heck, it normally works!) Anyway, if you didn't like my rant and rave about why message #15036 was so special, ignore the Book of the Aardvark if and when it comes out. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: TURTLE Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:32:44 Message Number 15618 DrF>How 'bout child pornography... T> Nope, bad argument... A child is not sexually developed, and a T> child's sex organs are not capable of sexual activity. Do you think pornography MUST involve sexactual sexual activity? Most Playboys don't show the actual act of sex. T> Also, a child is BY DEFINITION absolutely **not** capable of giving T> informed consent to any sexual practice. Therefore, your arcgument T> doesn't work. Huh? I thought we were arguing whether "Anything's okay -- provided nobody gets hurt and everyone agrees." Granted. Children can't give informed consent to sexual practices. But a child might agree. All I'm saying is that the above statement seems too broad for my ethical tastes, and I chose three fairly easy examples of why I disagree. A child CAN say he/she agrees to be photographed nude (or whatever... that doesn't physically hurt the child.) What do you think of my other two points? //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: TURTLE Subject: Huh? Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:40:50 Message Number 15619 DrF> .,..the idea of people coming from tens of miles to hear me rant DrF> and rave sounds like fun. T> And you do it very well, might I add. Thank you. //Dragonfly// ...now, wait a second! =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: TURTLE Subject: Ecology Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:42:41 Message Number 15620 >...so where can I pick up a subscription to this magazine, huh? The cost is somewhere around $5. (If you've got more that you want to send them, great. Or if you can't send them that much, that's OK by them, too.) Send cash or other valuables to: The Wiregrass Florida Earth First! P. O. Box 13864 Gainesville, FL 32604 Also available, information packets on starting an Earth First! chapter in our area ($5, and there are no local Sarasota chapters.) The Florida Earth First! T-shirt "Let's put Florida Back Together Again" for $10. And assorted Earth First! Bumper Stickers are avail. for $1 each. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:52:13 Message Number 15621 DFY> Would you like to become the Assistant False Prophet of the DFy> Armadillo? SS> Geez...give him a little power and he starts trying to drag SS> everybody into his false religion. Not everybody. And he was a willing convert. //Dragonfly// May the Armadillo of Happiness beat her eyes at you. =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: P.WHIPPED Subject: Religeon Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:55:36 Message Number 15622 >i thought that you may wish to know that the church of the sub- >genius still has their special on (eternal salvation or triple your >money back) The Rev. Ivan Stang came to my college and proclaimed me a SubGenius. I have been deaconized in the Church of the SubGenius. Both of these were against my will. The eternally Pink //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: Guarantee Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:02:19 Message Number 15623 You might enjoy going to a less serious church: Our Lady of the Divine Orgasm? (If ya don;''t mind me quoting from Heinlein.) //Dragonfly// Stop on by more often, y'hear? =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Dillos Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:05:30 Message Number 15624 That brought tears to my eyes. The Student outdoes the Master. You might enjoy reading D/L file #4, the First Spew of the False Prophet. ` And two of the Armadillos, curiously named Adam and Steve, looked up from the Quest and said, "Lo! What light in yonder window breaks! And why is yonder window breaking? It is the East, and Julio is on the run!" And all three ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Good, Evil, and the Way of the Aardvark, and there was much rejoicing among the zeps, who became extinct three minutes later. TBC, //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: TURTLE Subject: Dillos Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:13:51 Message Number 15625 Hmmmm... if Thummper One and I had a schism, would that make me the First False Church of the Armadillo, and his the Reformed False Church of the Armadillo? And when we had more schisms, we'd have the Second False Chuch, the True False Church, the False False Church, the Faux Church (when we do missionary work in France.) By the way, when I'm Spreading the Word of the Armadillo (or the Aardvark), can I say I'm in a missionary position? =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Asst. Prophet Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:18:23 Message Number 15626 DFy> (quals for False Prophets) SS> Look whose talking!! *DING* I even had to ask Turtle what the real name of the religion was. Luckily for me, he had to think before HE remembered. //Dragonfly// BTW, the reason it's a FALSE church is because me thinks Turtle & co. worship aardvarks. I'm not certain. =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:20:34 Message Number 15627 >Another annoying thing that they did is the way they lick their >genital area in full view of everybody. Hate to say this, Scott -- but cats do the same thing. //Dragonfly// Or are you just jealous? =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/20/91 16:28:51 Message Number 15628 Lisa is not Pregnant! She isn't going to have a kid! :) /| Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:10:17 Message Number 15634 DF> ...And I have also heard that women on the 'Pills' can have messed DF> children if they take it for too long. I believe that is no longer true. It /used/ to be recommended that women should only take the pill for two years before they could have a problem. But now the Pill can be taken for extended periods of time without hazard. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:15:51 Message Number 15635 DFy> May the Armadillo of Happiness beat her eyes at you. Armadillo? ARMADILLO!?! Don't you mean Aardvark? I thought so. You're not even worthy of being a false prophet. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:19:24 Message Number 15636 DFy> Hate to say this, Scott -- but cats do the same thing. True enough, but dogs almost seem to do it just to get everyone's attention. DFy> Or are you just jealous? Well, to quote George Carlin, "If I could like my balls, I'd never leave the house." (Please excuse that, Turtle, but sometimes the only way to deal with some people is to be rude.) (Some people just don't stay on the subject.) =========== From: CHARLES DITTELL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Churches Date & Time: 04/20/91 18:47:12 Message Number 15637 "Church of the Devine Orgasm", eh? Nah, to "real" -- Tantric Buddhism actually has that practice (it works, I know!).....but when it doesn't work, it's painful...... =========== From: RUFUS To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/20/91 19:32:47 Message Number 15638 >Isn't that "lowly?" (hehehe) I was busy in World Religions, so I missed my spelling class. Of course, now I'll be watchin' you with my Webster. =========== From: SAAVIK To: KNIGHT OWL Subject: twisted... Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:21:26 Message Number 15641 Hehehe. Naked truth..... Boy grrrrr. I hate hitting the return by mistake... Naked Truth.....Boy's Club tune.... "Do you want to know the naked truth, baby. Do ya wanna, Do ya wanna" They are kind of like the New Kids with reputations...all bad. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Branding Iron Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:24:25 Message Number 15642 TO>Actually It Says.(the brand) "Bar Y" .......It works pretty well to, ask Saavik... .....,But painful....however, If you draw a straw and an olive in the Y, you can always tell people its a tatoo........ =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Feather dusters Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:27:38 Message Number 15643 Hmmmmm. And I thought you were looking to buy cats for the new Hutch... ....... I I'll keep my eyes open for some vivacious bunnies wearing angora sweaters. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: M&M's Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:32:16 Message Number 15644 The Mother ship confiscated my whole surplus of M & M s .......(opps)... BUT if you find thoses shorts, lemme know. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: WHAT?!?! Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:33:51 Message Number 15645 TO> You were there....... No, but the fly on the wall told me....... TO> He is a fr**ging heater.... So now he's an appliance, eh? /Quit!!! You're gonna make the belt sander jealous........ =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: really? Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:40:08 Message Number 15646 Thumper, you really ought to try the new and improved "Rabbit Hormone Neutralizer". They've improved it so that it doesnt have those irritating side effects. Is that super glue still holding from the last time??? =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: obediance Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:42:28 Message Number 15647 TO>Is there any differences in the Training methods? (Dog vs wife training) Bolting for the warren You'd better run after a statement like that!!!! Of course, there is a difference..... I get more milk bones!!!!! =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Say what? Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:44:27 Message Number 15648 Well, chain link is no fun, but barbed wire /really/ leaves a lasting impression...... =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:47:45 Message Number 15649 DrF> *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* Ahhhhhhh, multiple dings....... gimme a cigarette. =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:49:01 Message Number 15650 DrF>Making religion an elective course is an excellent idea. And unfortunately, would probably be the loniliest class in the whole school. =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:52:08 Message Number 15651 I don t know the real name of the "chat mode evangelist", but this board wasn't a religious based board...... =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: twisted... Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:56:03 Message Number 15652 Dee Snider is correct..... wasn't he just the prettiest guy? (Saavik turns her head and gags) =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Scarves & You Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:58:44 Message Number 15653 SS>Is there something you're not telling us? Nope.............. =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:10:18 Message Number 15655 Of course I don't remember something if I wasn't in the same room! Grr. No, I didn't know you broke the whip...I /hate/ when that happens. :) =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:11:48 Message Number 15656 >So, I'm the one who should be flattered! I guess it's just one of those mutual things...I am still flattered, though. So there. =========== From: TURTLE To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:13:05 Message Number 15657 >So, where's the nearest McDonald's? Umm...well, there's one by New College, but they're a franchise store and they charge you money for those honey packets. I'd recommend going to the one on Fruitville... =========== From: TURTLE To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: Floppy Drive Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:15:06 Message Number 15658 >---and thanks for leading the SUCS to the Picnick!!! It was an honor and a privelege, Sir. ...next time I gotta clean out my attic too. I got a bunch of junk that might do someone somewhere some good... =========== From: TURTLE To: DIRTY WRAT Subject: Cat smell Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:16:43 Message Number 15659 >Cat urine is the most vile thing to come out of a living organism... You need to talk to Rufus about his relative's Dacshund. Heh, heh. =========== From: TURTLE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:18:57 Message Number 15660 >...pornography...Playboy... Um, last time I looked 'Playboy' wasn't pornography, at least legally. >A child cannot give informed consent...can agree... If the consent is not infomed and voluntary, it's not consent. Figure it out. I have no problem with anything two or more consenting individuals want to do, that does not involve harm to anyone involved. If the consent is not informed, however, it should be immediately obvious to even the simplest of logicians that it is not consent. =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: TURTLE Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:54:58 Message Number 15662 T> That, my friend, was in rather poor taste. Can you thinlk of any ads that aren't? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:16:39 Message Number 15663 R> Of course, now I'll be watchin' you with my Webster. Oh, I'm just a tremble. =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:41:45 Message Number 15665 Milord Scott Steel -- The Pantheon of the Ghods, Ghodesses, Ghodlings, and Ghodnauts contains not only the Aardvark, but also many creatures from Armadillos to Zybbuks. (Unfortunately, no human has yet reached the Cosmic Stage of Truth, Wisdom, and Incredulity to become more than a demiGhodnaut's Personal Washroom Attendent.) There most certainly is an Armadillo of Happines, just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:45:31 Message Number 15666 >Some people just don't stay on the subject. Now, why do you think that happens? //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: really? Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:47:31 Message Number 15667 S> Thumper, you really ought to try the new and improved "Rabbit S> Hormone Neutralizer"....it doesnt have those irritating side S> effects. Yeah, but there's a new side effect no one anticipated. Simply put, once you're on those pills, ya can't stop -- or the so-called "Rebound Effect" happens. (Tens of days of hormones, all hitting at once. Horrible thing to do to a rabbit.) //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:50:11 Message Number 15668 S> Ahhhhhhhh, multiple dings....... gimme a cigarette. But you haven't rung my bell, yet. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:51:21 Message Number 15669 Didn't Rufus say that it DOES exist, and it usually has about fifteen students? Pardon me while I wax my ears. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:52:17 Message Number 15670 Well, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I'm very curious as to which board it was -- and if I could get into chat with the Sysop. Maybe I could get another convert for the False Church? //Dragonfly// =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:58:17 Message Number 15671 DFy> ...an Armadillo of Happines, That's "Happiness" DFy> Incredibly stupid shit.... Y'know for one person to be able to spew as much bullsh*t as you do it's really astonishing. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:01:15 Message Number 15672 DFy> Now, why do you think that happens? Because you're too stupid to see the obvious series of topics there are normally on this board. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:06:20 Message Number 15673 SA> Ahhhhh, multiple dings...gimme a cigarette. DFy> But you haven't rung my bell, yet. You have a gift for subtlety. (dripping, naw, overflowing with sarcasm) =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: gen. sniffing Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:13:31 Message Number 15674 dogs aren't the only creatures that tend to sniff genitals. At my high school, there was a disproportionate number of jocks to non-jocks. through observation(when not sleeping) they tend to scratch their gonads just as, if not more, often as their K-9 buddies. not only that, but the (human?) species sniff their hands when done. it may of course be part of a sacred ritual which i have never been asked to participate in...but even if asked..i think i'll decline. =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: DRAGONFLY Subject: #15036 Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:27:20 Message Number 15675 Being the one to leave this message on the board there are a couple of comments i think are appropriate. 1>There is NOTHING sacred about the message 2>The message was an exercise in SARCASM 3>See #'s 1&2 =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: picnic Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:30:41 Message Number 15676 Thanks a million for all the neato-keen stuff you handed out today I didn't manage to thank you at the picnic, so i'll take up some memory in the board files to do so. One question...what is that tube for???? =========== From: DIRTY WRAT To: TURTLE Subject: DACSHUNDS!!! Date & Time: 04/21/91 05:04:10 Message Number 15677 Don't EVEN get my started on my Dacshund! What a putz. He bit my friend, TRIED to bite another, assassinated a litter or two of kittens, has homosexual fantasies about my Dalmatian (poor Stormy!) and tries to have sex with our female Dal... What does he think he is??? Then there's my grandmother... "He's such a NICE dog..." Satan himself could slither past (assuming the belief of a satan figure for the sake of fiction) and she'd say he was a nice dog. Sometimes I wonder about my family, but then I know. It ain't pretty. Did I mention I hate my Dacshund? Dirty "what a dog!" Wrat =========== From: DIRTY WRAT To: ALL Subject: Just a thought. Date & Time: 04/21/91 05:11:41 Message Number 15678 Has anyone out there ever tried to imagine the concept of existence as being detached from conception. * In other words: The universe exists. Everything in the universe exists. How did all inside this universe come to exist? The big bang. How did what was inside the big bang get into that little singularity? If you said "God" Where did God come from If you said "He is infinite" Imagine that. Think about it. If (S)(H)(s)he just 'is', then said deity exists, but was not concieved. If you said "it formed from matter outside this universe" What exists there? Under what rules? Is it just there, or did IT begin somewhere too? If it did, where did THAT come from? Essentially, the two trains of thought are pretty similar. A) we don't know B) most people don't CARE BUT hell, it's late, I'm tired and I figger I can make Rufus' brain explode if I do this long enough. Good day. Dirty "Big Bang" Wrat (best part is, I won't be around to see if anyone picks up on this.) =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:43:36 Message Number 15679 >Y'know for one person to be able to spew as much bullsh*t as you do >it's really astonishing. I assure you, sir, that I have never once spewed bullsh*t. Every single word of every single spew has been pure, one hundred percent, unadulterated bullshit. (Sheesh. I can't even pronounce bullsh*t.) //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:46:40 Message Number 15680 DFy> Now, why do you think that happens? SS> Because you're too stupid to see the obvious serious of topics there SS> are normally on this board. Wow! What a carefully, finely tuned response to my question! And, MY GOD! The complete and utter sarcasm went >>>WHOOSH>>>ing above his head. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:49:17 Message Number 15681 You haven't rung my bell, either, Scott. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: P.WHIPPED Subject: #15036 Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:50:04 Message Number 15682 PW> Being the one to leave this message on the board there are a couple PW> of comments i think are appropriate. PW> 1>There is NOTHING sacred about the message Really? But... but, that means that message getting message #15036 wasn't something that should have thrown you into ecstasy -- nay, into orgasms? PW> 2>The message was an exercise in SARCASM But... but... that means the great Aardvark Herself didn't whisper in my ear why that message had such a powerful number? My life is devastated. PW> 3>See #s 1&2 My world is shattered. Not only do you tell me these things ONCE, but you feel obligated to repeat them. I shall hang my head in despair. I shall pluck my eyeballs from my sockets, stick them between my toes, and forever see that way. I shall... oh, OK Turtle. I won't overdo it. Seriously, I was hoping you'd understand that my message was only a long attempt to be very sarcastic. This conversation has died a long and horrible death, and I, for one, will bury it. //Dragonfly// =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: TURTLE Subject: Schism Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:04:59 Message Number 15683 T>May the Aardvark of Happiness piddle onyou both in a public place. Thanks you... I'm kinda leaning toward the Order Of Bounding Hare, But I'll be happy if I'm able to phase the Rabbits into the local Mythos. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: TURTLE Subject: Poor Taste Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:08:22 Message Number 15684 T> That, My friend, was in rather Poor Taste. Indeed it was, That perhaps explains why I do it so Seldom, But The Urge hits on occasion. Everyone has their Nasty little quirks. Apologies to the Offended. Ears drooping in shame, Thumper One =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Schism Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:17:34 Message Number 15685 DF>Reformed False Church of the Armadillo... *thump* I like it... =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Dogs and Cats Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:19:51 Message Number 15686 I care for Dogs and Cats Equally, but I will have a cat when we move to the new house next week, Dogs need more attention than I can muster at the moment. So... =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: Angora Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:22:15 Message Number 15687 S>vivacious bunnies in angora... YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! Sorry folks, It's Spring time for Thumpy. Hey Saavik, could you please make sure that this batch of females actually has a brain. The last batch didn't, and the mother ship got pre oops, pretty angry about it. Something about, nothing to steal, I dunno. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: M&M's Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:25:29 Message Number 15688 Perhaps these lowly earth Critters dont recognize the VAlue of the M&M? They make Excellent Noshies, good Engine Fuel, and as an Aphrodisiac they are unmatched on Planet Zort. Hmm maybe they dont have that effect on earthling Metabolisms? I saw somewhere that Earthmen have the ability to metabolise Time... Hmmmmm Flanigen Leptorks. Got an Extra Pu-P36 Space modulator? =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: Super Glue. Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:28:58 Message Number 15689 S>Is that Super Glue Still holding.... You bet it is, I can't get you Skivvies off the Ceiling Fan Either. Good Conversation piece though. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: Hiding Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:30:38 Message Number 15690 S>I get more mlk bones!!!! [Thumper Peaks his head out of the warren to see if Saavik is still there...] Milk bones eh? With Glands like those I think you'd get milk bones the size of Seattle. Of course after ALL THOSE YEARS, they might not be working, you know, Warrenty (SP?) has expired. [Thumper See the small Artillery Cannon Behind Saaviks back, and decides to make a hasty retreat...] =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: KNIGHT OWL Subject: Gawd! Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:38:43 Message Number 15691 T> That, my friend, was in poor taste. NO> can you think of any ads that aren't? I'm sorry already! It'll never happen again, till I have the urge, or The Armadillo Tells me to, or Till I need to annoy some one =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:40:56 Message Number 15692 DF> just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride. And a Bunny of Bashing, (Vulcan that is) =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Ring me big boy Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:44:51 Message Number 15693 *DING* but that may be out of order, Can I Ding People? Is there some High order of the Ding? SOme on Explain this please? =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: man on mighty Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:47:25 Message Number 15694 Scott! Go Smoke a Cig, dude. you're getting REALLY nasty. =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: What?!?! Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:48:17 Message Number 15695 Is there a reason that you are being so Pissy? Some one piddle in your corn flakes this morning? What? Perhaps you just need a hug from the Lemming Of Love, or maybe you just need to be Slapped around for a bit. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: P.WHIPPED Subject: gen. sniffing Date & Time: 04/21/91 12:58:35 Message Number 15696 PW> (Rambling about jocks and their strange habits...) Did you know that we were discussing cats and dogs? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:04:27 Message Number 15697 DFy> I assure you, sir, that I hav never once spewed bullsh*t. Every DFy> single word of every single spew has been pure, one hundred percent DFy> unadultated bullshit. (Sheesh. I can't even pronounce bullsh*t) There you go again, spewing for the totally enjoyment of no one. That was another total waste of disk space, you know damn well I was simply censoring my post. Y'know you breathe entirely too much good oxygen. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:09:51 Message Number 15698 DFy>>SS>> ...obvious serious of topics If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately. DFy> ....the sarcasm went >>WHOOSH>>ing over my head... As usual, you're off again....not sarcasm was meant. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:13:56 Message Number 15699 DFy> You haven't rung my bell, either, Scott. Never will. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: DRAGONFLY Subject: #15036 Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:17:20 Message Number 15700 DFy> This conversation has died a long ad horribel death, and I, for DFy> one, will bury it. (Sigh of relief) good....I was really getting tired of this thread of messages. =========== From: RUFUS To: TURTLE Subject: Cat smell Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:23:39 Message Number 15701 >You need to talk to Rufus about his relative's Dacshund. Yes, those friendly animals bred for hunting are the most skiddish animals on the face of the earth. ...but at least you can aim it. And if it does pee on you, at most, it'll get your ankle (and those are the really bid dachshunds. =========== From: RUFUS To: KNIGHT OWL Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:26:57 Message Number 15702 >Can you thinlk of any ads that aren't [in poor taste]? I like the new VW ads. I also like most of the Isuzu ads. =========== From: RUFUS To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:28:17 Message Number 15703 >Oh, I'm just a tremble. Well, after 2.5 cases of Mountain Dew, I think we're all a tremble. =========== From: RUFUS To: DIRTY WRAT Subject: Just a thought. Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:32:21 Message Number 15704 Actually, Rufus' brain won't explode. I just ignore those kinda messages, because I fall under the "B) most people don't CARE" catagory. "Stress free, that's me." =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:01:00 Message Number 15705 R> Well, after 2.5 cases of Dew, I think we're all a tremble. hehehehe....well the Dew is all gone now...all 3.5 cases of it... =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: RUFUS Subject: Just a thought. Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:02:24 Message Number 15706 R> "Stress free, that's me" I could've sworn you were stressing last night... =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Sick Stuff Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:16:05 Message Number 15707 TH1>But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!!! Heheh. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: NEPHREDANA Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:55:50 Message Number 15708 N>Your average everyday normal theatre major! Studing theatre? Good! I'd give it a thumbs up. UP! uP. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:57:04 Message Number 15709 SS>Boy, you hate it don't you when I nail you ass to the wall with your SS>own logic. Don't ya. Yep. What brought that on? =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DIRTY WRAT Subject: Cat smell Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:59:52 Message Number 15710 DW>Reasonably clean my arse. Perhaps he should have said, "compariatively immaculate"; when comparing a cat with a dog, the cat will invariably come out smelling like a rose. And yes, perhaps you should resonably clean your arse. =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: DIRTY WRAT Subject: Just a thought. Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:12:49 Message Number 15711 You have been talking to DFy, havent you? =========== From: THE SPECIALIST To: RUFUS Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:17:48 Message Number 15712 R>I like the new VW ads. Oh, yeah...Fuckin'Junken. =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: animals Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:45:15 Message Number 15713 From my experiences with jocks, they don't behave much different from cats and dogs...except maybe they are less well behaved. =========== From: P.WHIPPED To: DRAGONFLY Subject: aaackpthh Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:48:02 Message Number 15714 i do understand that it was just a very long and drawn out attempt at sarcasm, but it was simply turning out a little too long. (i didn't want another hampster episode). As for chastisement, for being a false prophet, you are doomed to spend an enternity in a run down mall speedwalking to try to keep legions of old people from running you over with their shopping carts =========== From: RUFUS To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Just a thought. Date & Time: 04/21/91 16:02:03 Message Number 15715 R>"Stress free, that's me" SS> I could've sworn you were stressing last night... That was the old, stressed out Rufus. My new outlook on life is that the only really stressful thing is death, and I'll be dead then, so I won't care. ...of course, how long this lasts is a good question. =========== From: RUFUS To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/21/91 16:04:05 Message Number 15716 >Oh, yeah...Fuckin'Junken. Say the word. :) =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: 15000 Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:38:24 Message Number 15720 Oh, Great, Scott..... You get a girlfriend who ALSO has no wheels?!? So you gonna tell me about this "new Girl" or what???? =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Stimulation Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:41:25 Message Number 15721 SS to Dfy> Too bad you'll never get a cherry to go with that chocolate sauce. I knew a girl named Cherry once.... (named after a fruit...go figure) She used to wonder why no one ever took her serious... duh! =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: twisted... Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:43:45 Message Number 15722 I hope Dee Synder washed off the make up and did something with that hair BEFORE he got his real estate licence..... =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: Index Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:44:43 Message Number 15723 Gee that reply about ToFu sounded familiar.......... =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:46:27 Message Number 15724 T>"Mine little reptile'?? Hey, don't advertise it or everyone will want one! Gee, do you think there's enough to go around???? =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: *Ding* Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:47:39 Message Number 15725 T>*Ding* Ahhhhh. Well, I'm about dinged out now.... (long sigh) It just keeps getting better and better and ..... =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: Groupies Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:49:01 Message Number 15726 SA>(Saavik snickers as she sees Turtle slink under the couch) T> Hmph. You're enjoying this, aren't you? Immensely. =========== From: SAAVIK To: TURTLE Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:50:40 Message Number 15727 All that you say I should have told the BBS Evangelist, I agree I should have... but at the time, I was trying to be patient and change the subject.... I was trying to be polite and let him finish, I was trying to be tolerant and figured that he just needed to get it off his chest.. ... it also occured to me that he might be pulling my leg..... But after 15 minutes of solid preaching.... I knew it was no joke, I had flashbacks to the Jehova (sp) visits. I tried to reason with him (big mistake), I tried to state my opinion (he just kept spouting) so I hung up....... =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:14:48 Message Number 15728 You're message (slap slap) to Fennec (slap slap) about marraige (double slap) reminds me of Eddie Murphy's story about how his mother talked to him..... You (slap) will (punch) listen (pow) to (slap) me (kick). =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:16:35 Message Number 15729 TO> Nor have an Ego as Big, but we love you anyways.... SS>Grrr....oh, okay. (sign) What did the sign say????? =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: BBS: GOD callin Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:18:40 Message Number 15730 I don't think he'd just do it to anyone..... I dunno. But I'm not going to plaster his name and number all over and embarrass the guy.... after all, if everyone thinks his bbs is just a front for "witnessing" he's either going to get No calls or crank calls. I dunno why he picked me to "preach to". Maybe because of my age, the fact that I'm married with children and he didn't place me in the same slot with the others that would give him peer pressure for "expressing his beliefs". I'm sure He thought he was doing Gods work.... but jamming something down someones throat, isn't quite my idea of God's word.. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Smart 1 or Amy? Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:22:25 Message Number 15731 Wrong!!!! She's only 7 months old, she's still a puppy. Hey! I listen to the Dog Chow commercials...... she's not a dog until she's 12 months old.!!!!! =========== From: SAAVIK To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:23:41 Message Number 15732 TS>there are some sexual practices which are just plain sick. Sick to you maybe, sick to me maybe, sick to half the population..... but that isn't what counts.... again: it's ok as long as the partici- pants involved like it and don't feel it's sick, and no one is getting hurt!!!! =========== From: SAAVIK To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: breaking habits Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:29:18 Message Number 15733 Ever notice that you can go without a cigarette for a day or two even with no problem if it's like a necessity (like the flu, or being some where you can't smoke, or whatever) but just mention the word, quit smoking and you shift into overdrive consuming 10 cigaretts an hour... =========== From: SAAVIK To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:31:21 Message Number 15734 CD>I'd be careful about hanging up on God's Front Man.... Yeah, he told me the only reason I called that night was because God planned it that way for him to witness to me.... welp, in that case, I guess God planned for me to hang up on him too....... =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Sick Stuff Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:34:12 Message Number 15735 TO to TS>But I like Hamsters!!! I might have said that to the wrong person eh? Yep. Right now, he's probably loading his double barrel shotgun and donning his "Moral Majority Rules" T shirt...... Don't tell him where you live, Thumpy. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:37:02 Message Number 15736 Hehehehehe...... Who do I make the check payable to? I wanna Gender Bender. =========== From: SAAVIK To: RUFUS Subject: Back seat Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:41:30 Message Number 15737 RF(after being called "Boy") Ouch, oh jeez. Did that ever hurt. :P Just reply: "Boy? How big do man grow where you come from????" =========== From: SAAVIK To: CHARLES DITTELL Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:44:21 Message Number 15738 CD>Or God's shouting down to a few huddled groups, "OK, you guys, now I want you to shave yer heads.......and hang out at airports....." Hari Christna, Hari Christna, Hari Hari, Christna Christna Ok, so it's been a long time since I saw Hair..... =========== From: SAAVIK To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:49:03 Message Number 15739 I took the "pill" for several years. Yes it's true that some women may experience problems after being on the pill for several years. I did, but I stopped taking it as soon as I developed some of the first symptoms (brown spots on skin, absense of menstration) and everything returned to normal quite quickly.... Almost any form of birth control has side effects with the exeption of the "rubber" and a "diaphram". There is only one "natural" method of birth control..... the Rhythm method,,,, it has one "Big" side effect. Children. =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: really? Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:01:39 Message Number 15740 Drf> (talking about Rabbit Hormone Neutralizer Pills) ..once you're on those pills, ya can't stop -- or the so-called "Rebound Effect" happens. (Ten days of hormones, all hitting at once. Horrible thing to do to a Rabbit. Even worse thing to do to a Pit Bull...... =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:03:58 Message Number 15741 Drf> But you haven't rung my bell, yet. *Ding* *Dong* Remember that song: back in the disco days......."You can ring my bell, ell, ell, you can ring my bell." (obnoxious music follows) That's the only words..... over and over and over again. =========== From: SAAVIK To: DRAGONFLY Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:05:48 Message Number 15742 Actually, Dragonfly, I hesitate to tell anyone who's board it was I called for reasons I stated earlier..... I mean, maybe the guy was really trying to convert me, eh? Maybe? I don't want to expose one of God's disciples!!!!!! I don't want to rot in Hell.... But more importantly, I don't want to be branded as a "pigeon". =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:08:00 Message Number 15743 Scott Scott Scott..... Be nice!!!! And quit slamming Dragonfly. Don't forget, what goes around comes around...... and I see it coming in your direction.... =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Angora Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:12:48 Message Number 15744 I got a message from the Mother ship (or at least I think it was) yestarday.... "Brains, I want BRAINS." Of course, the T.V. was blaring quit loudly and I suppose it could have been an advertisement for The Walking Dead...... but, hummmmm, I kept hearing the distict revving of a 67 Mustang in the background and someone chanting "Yoda, yoda". Ack!!!!!!!!!!! A beam of light!!!! It's the Probe!!!!!!!!!! NOOO O O O =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: M&M's Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:16:09 Message Number 15745 These Earth Creatures actually EAT the M & M's........ ....hmph! There's no accounting for taste.... What a perfectly good waste of rocket fuel. =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Super Glue. Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:17:19 Message Number 15746 Hmmm, I wonder what the landlord will tell the new tenants about the Cieling Fan???? Perhaps the glued undies can be explained as a wind direction device, eh? =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Keep hiding Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:18:42 Message Number 15747 (Saavik lights the fuse just as Thumper ducks back down in his hole) Awight you wascly wabbit."*BOOM* (Saavik wipes the soot from her face and sighs, then goes in search of Yosimite Sam for back up.) In the true spirit of Arnold Schwartzen(whatever) "I'll be back." =========== From: SAAVIK To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Tofu Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:21:23 Message Number 15748 Drf> Just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride. TO> And a Bunny of Bashing, (Vulcan that is) Oh, Vulc off, and quit Hare-assing me!!!!! =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:39:53 Message Number 15749 SORRY DUDE! Saavik has said that she was on the pill, and it did cause her to have side effects. She also said that every type of BC has side effects... Hmm. Oh well, thanks ... :) /! Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: DEATH FENNEC To: SAAVIK Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:41:14 Message Number 15750 Blah...Children...Not now... Anyways, thanks for the advice, and talkig to me about BC, it's a nasty thought, (killing a living being), But I guess that is how it has to work. /! Death Fennec -- ;> =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Sick Stuff Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:51:04 Message Number 15759 TH1> But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!! TS> Heheh. What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, I'm surprised! SHOCK! =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:52:50 Message Number 15760 TS> Studing theatre?.... That's "Studying" hehehe. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: THE SPECIALIST Subject: Doggie, kitty? Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:53:35 Message Number 15761 TS> YEP. What brought that on? You'd like to know wouldn't ya. hehehe.... =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: 15000 Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:56:14 Message Number 15762 SA> ..So you gonna tell me about this "new Girl" or what??? Yeah. Her name is Tammy. She's nineteen. (I know she's a little young but what can ya do?) I think she's got a face like Kim Basinger. As The Specialist said about Black Magic, she's very ornamental. (And a few other things as well. heheheh) =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:59:15 Message Number 15763 T> "Mine little reptile"?? SA> Gee, do you think there's enought to go around?? Stop that. You going to give him an ego bigger than mine. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Hey, No Worries Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:01:22 Message Number 15764 Who (slap) give you (slap) the idea (pow) that you (slap) were my mother? (kick) I know, where do I get off talking to Fennec like I was he's father.... well, not exactly like his father...but I was just trying to make a strong point....Fennec, I hope I was over-stepping my bounds. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:04:13 Message Number 15765 SS> Grrrr....oh, okay. (sign) SA> What did the sign say??? Merge. hehehehe. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:07:12 Message Number 15766 SA> ....welp, in that case, I guess God planned for me to hang up on SA> him too.... Touche! =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:09:19 Message Number 15767 SA> Ok, so it's been a long time since I saw Hair.... I remember that movie, I liked it a lot. Perhaps we could rent it some time and watch it. BTW, you're dating yourself again. =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Birth Control Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:11:04 Message Number 15768 There's also the Sponge and foam and of course, not doing the nasty all together. But we won't count that idea..hehehe =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:15:13 Message Number 15769 SA> ..Don;t forget, what goes around comes around...and I see it coming SA> in your direction... What do you mean by that? =========== From: SCOTT STEEL To: SAAVIK Subject: Super Glue. Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:17:05 Message Number 15770 SA> Perhaps the glued undies can be explained as a wind directtion SA> device, eh? Or, perhaps, a small flag... =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: The Probe Date & Time: 04/22/91 04:58:48 Message Number 15771 S> It's the Probe!!!!!!!!! NOOO O O Saavik? You there?!?! Saavik? Hello? Anyone? Well, If you ever make it back and read this, Call me at 52i71, Beta-Ixian System, Gorphnob Central. Ask For Elvis... Thumpelvis =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SAAVIK Subject: But Dear... Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:02:21 Message Number 15772 S> Oh Vulc off, and Quit Hare-Assing me!!!!! But, Oh Truly Soft one, I /LIKE/ hare-assing you. What else is there to do when I can't think of what to post? (No one answer that please) =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Shock Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:04:03 Message Number 15773 TS>heheheh SS> What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, Im Suprised! SHOCK! I'm quite pleased actually... =========== From: THUMPER ONE To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Glued Undies Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:06:41 Message Number 15774 SA> ...as a wind direction device, eh? SS> Or, Perhaps, a small flag... Um..... Air Freshener? Naw, Couldn't be... =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: ??? Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:18:04 Message Number 15775 TO> I'm kinda leaning toward the order of the bounding hare. Sounds better than that other 'speed bump' religeon. Got any info? L8R! -A convertible Knight Owl =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Poor Taste Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:20:41 Message Number 15776 TO> Ears drooping in shame, Aren't you a lop-eared rabbit to start with? =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Gawd! Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:23:37 Message Number 15777 >That my friend, was in poor taste. > Can you think of any ads that aren't? > I'm sorry already! I liked it! I was being sarcastic about asking if you could think of ads . Knight Owl =========== From: KNIGHT OWL To: RUFUS Subject: Commercials Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:42:59 Message Number 15778 I haven't seen either of those. Have you seen the NAPA ads? They're the best I've seen in a while. This year's 'Rediculous ad' award goes to the ziplock bag company. (Ya know... the one with the finger & the thumb?) L8R! -A generic Knight Owl =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Schism Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:10:44 Message Number 15781 Yes, but who nailes ninety-five Theses on whose door? (And I don't think the New College Library would like it if I tried to take ninety five Theses from the library...) //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: M&M's Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:12:34 Message Number 15782 They work fairly well as an aphrodesiac on Earthlings, as well. And they're fantastic Noshies! //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: THUMPER ONE Subject: Ring me big boy Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:14:05 Message Number 15783 >*DING* but that may be out of order, Can I Ding People? Is there some >High order of the Ding? SOme on Explain this please? Ding, /Di/, interj. 1. The sound of a bell tolling. 2. Colloq. expression found on aLTER rEALITY signifying one, more, or none of the following: a. Precisely; 'right on!'; Total understanding. b. Agreement with one or more points made by another user. c. The sound of an orgasm. d. The sound of the Great Aardvark, the Armadillo of Happiness, or the Apathy Bear entering a human's mine. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:20:33 Message Number 15784 Dfy>>SS>> ...obvious serious of topics SS> If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately. SS>>DFy> ....the sarcasm went >>WHOOSH>>ing over my head... If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: P.WHIPPED Subject: aaackpthh Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:24:20 Message Number 15785 Hmmm. That reminds me of a fortune cookie message I once got. "Your wheel of fortune has broken spokes, a dented rim, and rusted bearings. Better luck in your next lifetime." //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: BBS: GOD callin Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:26:59 Message Number 15786 If you really feel it's your calling to witness to people -- if you really feel God has told you to preach the Word -- then the best thing to do is to talk gently with everyone else, learn their own religious viewpoints, and make it very easy for them to change them to the viewpoint God gave you. In other words, let them take the 'easy road' of slowly changing their beliefs -- not cramming it down their throats. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: Seriously now Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:34:58 Message Number 15787 S> *Ding* *Dong* Ahhhh. Thanks. S> Remember that song: "You can ring my bel, ell, ell, you can ring my S> bell." .. That's the only words. Unfortunately, no. When disco was hip, I wasn't listening to much music. Even though I learned to dance disco, I rarely listened to it. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: SAAVIK Subject: Anything butSex Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:37:28 Message Number 15788 No problem. I understand why you don't want to say whose board it was. But, from your description, it wasn't one of the Christian boards around the area (Solomon's Portico and the half-gone Victory Life Line) -- which was what I was expecting. //Dragonfly// =========== From: DRAGONFLY To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:40:29 Message Number 15789 Every kind of birth control has side effects. Can they be lived with? Even condoms sometimes cause problems: one friend I know is allergic to Nonoxyl-9. That's why you should get your information from a reliable source. //Dragonfly// =========== From: SAAVIK To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:33:24 Message Number 15792 Yeah, I did say the Pill has side effects, not everyone has them, and with regular visits to the Doctor (as all sexually active women should go at least once a year anyway) any side effects can be detected before they cause any serious problems. The human body is a wonderous thing. It usually lets you know well in advance if it isn't liking what you are doing to it..... The Pill is a very good form of birth control is used correctly and if you regularly visit your physician.... =========== From: SAAVIK To: DEATH FENNEC Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:37:59 Message Number 15793 DF>BC (Birth Control) it's a nasty thought, (killing a living being) Whoa!!!!!!! Wait a sec..... Birth control is meant to avoid such things. ..... for instance, the pill stops a woman from ovulating, therefore, the sperm never finds an egg and conception never takes place..... And both the condom and the diaphram prevent the sperm from reaching the egg, so therefore, again, conception never takes place..... Birth control isn't murder, it's prevention of pregnancy.... =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Sick Stuff Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:41:06 Message Number 15794 TH1>But I /LIKE/ hamsters!! TS> Heheh. SS>What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, I'm surprised! SHOCK! Me too..... it couldn't be, (no, not possible), that TS is giving up the argumenmt of perversion????? Or hmmmm, can it be he /really/ has a sense of humor?????? =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: 15000 Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:43:31 Message Number 15795 SS>(about Tammy) She's 19, got a face like Kim Basinger, she's very ornamental. (and a few other things as well) Hmmm. Well that tells me a whole lot.... does she have a brain? Is she a down to earth person or what???? Gee, ask for details and what do you get.... could it be that the above description is all you are interested in? I thought I knew you better than that, Steel. I can't say "She sounds nice." Because, so far, she just sounds like another pretty face. =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Whips and chain Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:47:30 Message Number 15796 SS>Stop that. You (re) going to give him an ego bigger than mine. Impossible..... =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Steel Top Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:49:16 Message Number 15797 Hmmmm, and I thought the sign said.... "STOP" =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: hung up on GOD? Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:49:55 Message Number 15798 SS>BTW, you're dating yourself again. Yeah, I know, but at least I'm enjoying my company....... (uhg) =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Birth Control Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:51:24 Message Number 15799 SS>There's also "not doing the nasty" all together. Abstince (sp?) does NOT make the heart grow fonder..... it makes the flames grow colder. NOT an option!!!!!! But it is a sure fire way to prevent pregnancy and venereal diesise (spelling sucks) =========== From: SAAVIK To: SCOTT STEEL Subject: Dog problems Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:53:29 Message Number 15800 SS>What do you mean by that? What goes around, comes around, Scott. You keep hammering on people and they are going to "get you back". Sooner or later...... ===========