============================================================================== || T.Y.M.E. - Twisted Young Minds Expand || #8 by S0l0mn || 07-13-94 || ============================================================================== Hints For Guys Like Us ======================== O.k. As it seems that us MEN seem to live in a womans world these days. I thought a few helpful tips that I gathered through various scources might help us out in this desperat time of femenist invasion. ||-1-: When your girlfriend gets ready in the bathroom for over a hour be sure to ask her when she comes out "so what are you going to wair tonight?" ||-2-: Don't kick yipping little dogs.......to hard. ||-3-: Learn to unsnap all kinds of bras with one hand. ||-4-: Your girlfriends parents arn't your enemys, your girlfriend is your enemy and her parents are her allies. ||-5-: Don't overlook church as a place to meet chicks. Girls go there to look for a nice guy..............they won't suspect a thing. ||-6-: Get a dog, chicks love dogs. ||-7-: Don't forget your girlfriends friends, they often are so jelouse you might get to fuck them to. ||-8-: Try to always piss outdoors. ||-9-: Don't overlook that rollypolly girl in the corner, she may look ugly now, but late at night in a dimly lighted bar, a low cut skirt and a half a dozen beers, she be lookin mighty fine. ||-10-: When, in a few years, your job requiers you to get a secretary, remeber any bitch can type, but not all of them look good in a short leather miniskirt ||-11-: Always pick up a hitchhicker that's wearing shot cutoff jeans and a holter top..............unless it's a man. ||-12-: Never get your nails painted unless your a chick or a transvestite then go for flaming red. ||-13-: Try to make friendly conversation with a perfect stranger at a resturant, then when you go to the counter you say "my friends paying for my lunch" and when she asks who he is, be friendly and wave to your newly aqquird "friend" he'll waive back caus he's a nice guy and then the lady at the counter will think he's "Oking" the arrangment. Later: S0l0mn T.Y.M.E. author ========================================================= || Look for T.Y.M.E. on any of these following boards: || ========================================================= || Under The Influence....Origin site....(GOF)IND-OUT || || Total Anarchy BBS......Distro site....(707)257-7208 || || The Gathering BBS......Distro site....(ITS)PRI-VITE || || Reality Bites..........Distro site....(707)226-XXXX || || Exodus BBS.............Distro site....(707)935-6867 || || Last Resort............Distro site....(707)255-1413 || || Zeppelin...............Distro site....(XXX)XXX-XXXX || ========================================================= || 'Life is an illusion , Death a Reality' || =========================================================