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     $$     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1079
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     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$ss$$       "The Story of The Alice and The Needle"
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$                         by Caitlin
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$                      05/15/00
 [-- $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
     $$  $$ "TssT" "TssT"

	Once upon a time there was a strange pubescent girl.  When she was
 much younger she used to play in the dandelion fields, talk to pigeons,
 and sing folk songs about sunshine and angel wings.  But now her song had
 taken on a much darker, more haunting tone.  She was 13-years-old this
 summer, when the people finally stopped questioning her about her sadness.
	"It's just teenage angst!" they'd say.
	"She'll grow out of it, I suppose."
	"She's going to be a beautiful woman someday."
	Her name was Lillybelle.  She smelled of pink grape fruits and
 looked like a daisy, white-blonde hair cascading down her back and light
 apricot-colored skin covered modestly, yet loose and freely, in white
 worn cotton dresses, and electric-blue eyes.  Summer was here, she was 13,
 and she officially began her journey.
	"Why does the grass grow so tall?" thought Lillybelle, "They never
 told me why this field is so verdant and impressive."
	She wandered along.
	"What is impressive anyway?" she questioned aloud.  "Why can't I
 be as impressive as this field--this grass--this whole valley."
	She coughed and sat down on a rock.  She looked at her hands and
 then looked up at the sky.  She lit a cigarette and she wondered about
 everything that she ever was taught.  She felt the droplets gathering in
 her eyes.  An hour had passed and she was still crying.  She decided she
 didn't want to be Lillybelle anymore.  She changed her name to Digit and
 got up and walked into the forest.
	Walking and walking and walking some more, she finally came across
 a talking needle.
	"Hello there, Digit," said the needle.
	"Well, hel--wait.. How did you know my name?  I just changed it
 less than three hours ago!"
	"Digit--It's because of fate.  Everything you've ever been taught
 has led you to believe that things happen for a reason, right?  Well I am
 the reason you were even born."
	"REALLY??" she said.  She was very determined to find out why she
 was here, and she had never seen a talking needle before.  She curiously
 approached it and touched the tip.  She flicked it and glitter flew
 everywhere.  Her mouth dropped.
	"See?  How could you not be meant for anything that is as
 beautiful as me?" the needle said, "You know that you're as good as me."
	Digit and the needle sat in the middle of the forest for hours.
 They watched colors and sheep and cherries fly by their eyes.  The needle
 began to kiss and touch Digit all over her white cotton dress.  He left
 stains all over her cotton, and she started to become ashamed.
	"Needle--you know--if people see these stains all over me--well,
 they might think bad things," Digit cried.
	The needle comforted her.  He told her that she was beautiful and
 that things would turn out for the best.  He told her that nothing bad
 could ever happen to them because they were meant to be.
	Three years had passed.  Digit was 16 now, and she was still
 living with the needle in the forest.  They had three children, and her
 cotton dress was still stained and it was even torn now.
	"You know, Needle, if anyone ever comes into the forest.. I will
 be very embarrassed.  I don't want anyone to see me like this," Digit said.
	"It's okay, my love, things will be better soon, I promise."
	Digit believed the needle because she remembered the magic and the
 glitter from when she first came upon the needle.  She believed he never
 meant any harm.  She realized at that moment that she still hadn't found
 out why she was really here.
	"Needle--you told me that I am here for you and you're here for
 me.  Well, then why am I so damn unhappy?  Why do we have three children
 and why are we living in this deep, dark forest?"
	"Shut up, you stupid wench!" the needle snapped, "Just wait until
 five years passes!  Then you'll see! I promise!"
	Digit cried next to her favorite tree and than nursed her three
 children one by one.  They cried and she ignored them the best that she
 could.  She then napped beside them.  Her sleep was restless and filled
 with horrible nightmares.  She dreamed of her family back near the green
 field.  She dreamed of her dandelions and the smell of grapefruit.  She
 realized that was what was missing.
	Something crashed and she woke up instantly.  She remembered every
 detail of her dream and she began to get up.  She wanted to run away back
 to the field and to her family.  When she stood up and caught her
 balance, she saw the needle in front of her.
	"Where do you think you're going, Digit?"
	"I have to leave, Needle.  I can't take this anymore.  I'm not in
 love with you.  You lied to me when I was younger and I didn't know any
 better.  I want to go back and continue my education with my people," she
 announced.
	"But Digit! You don't love me anymore?!?!"
	"I never did," she stated and with that the needle fell to the
 ground, motionless.  It lost whatever magic it had at that moment, and
 became just another object manufactured by human beings.  Digit began to
 walk past the needle but tripped and fell.  She landed right on the
 needle and it stabbed her eye.
	She stood up with the needle sticking out of her eye, and realized
 she felt no pain--no new pain from the protrusion and no more pain from
 the co-dependence she experienced with the needle.  The blood ran down her
 face and she began to rise above the ground, flying through the treetops,
 knocking branches to the ground of the forest.
	It took Digit twenty years to realize she would never get out of
 that forest.  She smoked 14,600 packs of cigarettes, drank 9,860 bottles of
 vodka, and clawed at her skin constantly.  She flew around in circles, but
 the needle no longer told her what to do.  It stayed in her eye and never
 talked to her again.  On the twenty-first year she stopped tearing her skin
 apart, found her children, and built a trailer in the outskirts of the 
 forest, near the green valley.  She could never leave, but would devote
 her life to teaching her children how not to be.  They lived happily ever
 after.

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu     HOE #1079, BY CAITLIN - 5/15/00 ]