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 $$$                           by -> Lil' Taz                         $$$
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 $$$             (* HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #905 -- 11/29/99 *)          .,$$$
 `""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`

	Okay, so here's the thing, my life fucking sucks. Plain and
 simple. And I'm not just bitching. It really does suck.

	The run down.

	8 yrs old - raped.

	12 yrs old - raped again.

	14 yrs old - first true sexual experience.

	14-present age (20) - living with the stereotypical female nympho
                              bullshit.

	okay, got that out, now understand, even with this bullshit that
 happened in the beginning of my life, I'm not upset at that or the fact
 that it happened. I maybe a bit sad at times that my innocents wasn't mine
 to give, but now as i see it i' a lot stronger.

	After my first experience when i was 14, i started craving sex.
 not like you crave a candy bar or a cigarette, but a craving like i had
 never felt before. like it controlled my life. drove me to insanity a
 time or two...  seriously i thought my mom was gonna put me in a mental
 ward once. but anyways, as i said it drove me. and before i knew it, i
 was classified as a "SLUT" or "WHORE." and it just made me laugh. well
 not in the beginning. i cried until it hurt to cry, then i grew up. people
 are mean. thats all there is to it, you get past that, and you get past
 just bout anything.

	well i have had a lot of partners, and i guess now, if i looked
 back i was a slut. but i was always protected, even when i conceived my
 son. whom now is 3 yrs old. i was 16 at the time of his birth. and it was
 hell. but again, i am off the subject I'm trying to get out here.

	i don't get where people get off being so high and mighty.
 classifying everyone and everything that they aren't. it fucking pisses me
 off. god, if they only knew what it was like to be in my shoes once. when
 i was lil' and ignorant of what was happening to me.

	i think that that was what really has the biggest impact on my
 life, i mean, i didn't care about sex as an intimate thing between two
 people who cared about each other, it was a drug. something i just had to
 get.

	i always want to be different, try to be at all times. and so when
 people criticize me now, i laugh. its funny to me to be called a slut. i
 mean, my normal remark is, "yer just jealous cause your not getting as
 much as i am."  and then sometimes, i still go home lock myself in my
 room and cry.

	why should anyone have to deal with this pain? why should people
 be able to get away with this torture? now you know my life story. well
 my life sucks.  plain and simple. if you don't agree, eat me. i live in
 this hell, the hell others created for me.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #905 - WRITTEN BY: LIL' TAZ - 11/29/99 ]