[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #588 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "My Nomination for 'Greatest 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Eccentric of the 20th Century'" 888 888 888 888 888 " 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o by Ashtray Heart [4/21/99] o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] I nominate Andrall Pearson, CEO of Tricon. Andrall, despite being a corporate despot, is well-known for loving a good time, and keeps smelling salts in his shoes at all times. He claims they "keep the demons away". Andrall also has that condition the name of which I forget-graph-something- -that consists of writing compulsively. He writes dozens of pages every day, mostly moralistic exhortations to his imaginary daughter. Andrall is also a party hound; he has behaved so crudely and boorishly on occasion that Howard Stern has denounced him in public for "poor taste". If a customer comes to Mr. Pearson with a complaint, he will just laugh maniacally for hours on end, until the customer goes away. Despite these quirks, Pearson exemplifies company pride, as seen in his infamous "chicken pants". These are pants specially constructed to mimic the crispy coating on Kentucky Fried Chicken (a subsidiary of Tricon), right down to the smell. As a result, Pearson has to be kept away from all dogs, who will attack him rabidly if they are put within 50 feet of his "chicken pants". If he has to be around a dog, he will remove the pants, but will not wear any other pants. "It's either the chicken pants or no pants at all", he says. There is no love lost between Andrall Pearson and dogs, that's for certain. One of his favorite pastimes, left over from his career as a sharpshooter in the service, is to go down to Cherokee Park, get out a big ol' sniper rifle, and shoot dogs. He'll stay out all day shooting dogs, and then in the evening he will stick around and get his cock sucked. He is always delighted when one of his many anonymous homosexual liasons comments that his cock "tastes like Kentucky Fried Chicken". For these reasons and many more, I believe that Andrall Pearson is is one of the 10 most eccentric personalities of this century. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #588 - WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART - 4/21/99 ]