'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #416 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "A Package For a Girl" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Styx !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/10/99 !! !!========================================================================!! Dear Melanie, I am running on 3 hours of sleep so don't expect any of this to make sense. I've got a big container full of coffee in front of me that I brought here to work but I forgot that coffee makes me sick. Infact, most things I eat or drink make me sick. My stomach hates everything besides vodka, nicotine, and tangerines. Um.. I only said tangerines because it rhymed with nicotine. I'm not complaining. I wish I could go to sleep. I'm still not complaining. I barely remember anything that's happened in the past year. It's really unnerving. I feel like I'm finally waking up from _something_, I just hope I won't want to go back to sleep afterwards. I think that if you get flattered too much, you start to think you can do no wrong. I'm not so sure flattery is such a good thing anymore. An old friend of mine just stopped by to say hi. I wonder if he feels better? I hate it when people do that. "MATT!!! say something HAPPY!!!" You know what would make me happy right this second? Being with somebody that's capable of maintaining comfortable silences. For instance, let's say I have a friend/girlfriend over and he/she is sitting on my bed watching TV and I am sitting on the floor putting new strings on my guitar, or *whatever*, and neither of us are talking or even making eye-contact, yet we both feel secure enough in our relationship that neither of us care. He/she enjoys the TV and I enjoy my new guitar strings and both of us are content just to be in each other's presence. That would be the best fucking relationship in the world, but I doubt anybody is capable. Hell, I've never seen it; not in friends or girlfriends or boyfriends or fathers or anything. People are so wrapped up in the trivial details of their relationships instead of being concerned about the important things. A relationship is _two people co-existing comfortably_. That's all. It's that simple. When one person begins to feel uncomfortable, the relationship ends. That's all. It's that simple. Anything else is irrelevant. That's _all_. It's _that simple_. Until you find somebody that you're consistently comfortable with, all you're doing is playing the game. The worst part about it is that it's necessary and inevitable. You either play the little games or you're alone. I'm not sure which is worse. Maybe the worst thing is to play the game _and_ be alone. You do the whole socializing bit and you surround yourself with your boring, shallow, useless friends, but you still end up alone at the end of the night anyway and you do it on purpose. I'm _still_ not complaining. I'm progressing past all of this; at least, I've taken the first few steps. "All is fair in love and war." Whoever said that was right. If things don't work out, you step right over it. It isn't callous or heartless, it's just making sure that you come out of things alright. The _last_ thing it is is "selfish," quote unquote. Since when did self-preservation become self-ish, anyway? I must've missed that meeting. It's too bad everyone is such a physical whore. Most relationships I've witnessed _began_ with sex. What the hell? Isn't sex sacred anymore? Whatever happened to our priorities and morals? There's barely anyone left. What gets me the most are the people who wait two or three weeks before having sex with each other and they think they're hot shit for waiting that long; no, they're just as disgusting as the people who fuck on the first day. The only difference is the time. I'm not saying there's a specific time frame that applies to every relationship as far as when having sex goes, but three weeks? That's called being a whore in my world. I wish I could just go home and sleep. I'm so tired. You know, in the relationship I had before, we waited _twenty-two_ months before sleeping with each other. It was because we had morals and stable priorities. As cataclysmic as the relationship turned out to be in the end, we *always* respected ourselves and each other when it came to sex. That doesn't mean I'm better than anyone else, but shit, maybe it does. Can you think of any guy you know that would wait twenty-two months, Melanie? Yet it seems that once somebody loses their virginity, they feel that there's no more sense in waiting with anybody else. They've already had sex so there's no boundaries; it's easy, now. Idiots! They just don't understand and they never will because they're too busy fucking people and watching TV to stop for a moment and _think_. AIDS is a blessing. I praise it for knocking these assholes off (credit; Jeff Koyen). You think Montel Williams is going to keep your legs shut, Melanie? How about music? Your poetry? Mommy? You act on instinct without second thought, just like the rest of them. So here's your fucking package I promised to send. Enclosed with this letter is ground sirloin steak sealed in a ziplock bag. Take a long, hard look at it, Melanie, because that's all you've made yourself out to be -- raw meat. I've named it "human." Take care of it, and don't let it spoil! Spoiled humans give off a foul scent... - Matt !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #416, WRITTEN BY: STYX - 1/10/99 !!