$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #259 $$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt. $$$$P $$$$ x$$$$ $$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$. $$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$ $$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$' $$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P' $$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %% $$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %% >> "Being Accepted In Public" << by -> Chris Cox ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, all of us have had bad times out in public, be it the occasional fly being down, or tripping on a crack, or what have you. But some of us really know how to make a complete cock out of ourselves in public For example, I saw this guy at the mall the other day, he looked to be about 30 or so, dressed totally like some punk guy, with a chain wallet, spiked hair, and everything. He looked pretty cool from a distance. But, as i got up closer to him, i noticed that his shirt said "offspring - smash" on the front of it. I was like 'boy, that guy sure is a cockhead.' but hey, that's why i'm here. i will give you tips on how not to look like a dumb fuck in public... lesson 1 - don't wear band shirts. and if you do, make sure no one has ever heard of the band on the shirt lesson 2 - only wear a chain wallet if you have money or condoms to keep in it. never wear one for style. and never wear one that is so grossly huge that it knocks you off-balance lesson 3 - don't wear No Fear Geer in public. don't wear it in private either. lesson 4 - if you're going to be loud, do it in a positive way. because no one really wants to hear "HEY JIMMY!! YOU ARE A FUCKING DUMB ASS SHIT HEADED ASSHOLE!!" screamed across the mall...what they'd rather hear is "HOLY SHIT! FIGHT! FIGHT! BLOOD!"...get the picture?..good.. lesson 5 - never ridicule someone bigger than you just to earn the respect of your friends. for example, i saw these 12 year old punks at the 7-eleven on friday night, smoking cigarattes, and just hangin' out, which is perfectly fine. but then a group of us, ages 16-21 roll up in our hooptee, and get out to go buy smokes and slurpees and shit. and my friend who's like 6 foot 5 was walkin' in, when one of the kids said to the other 'shit, man, look at that big tall pussy tryin' to be all that'. so my friend stopped, told us to come outside, and we beat the crap out of the kid and took his money, while his friend left him there and ran home like a pussy. so the moral of the story is : your friends will always ditch you being accepted in public is not that hard, as long as you don't try to be something you're not, or try to act all bad. just chill, and go with the flow, and you'll be ok. and if you don't follow all of these lessons to the word, you'll be looked at as a total fucking jackass. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #259 -- written by Chris Cox -- 8/16/98 *