=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Remaining --------- I was born and pretty much raised in Aurora. It's the armpit part of the suburbs, but kids don't usually notice that kind of thing when it's all they know. I used to play under the bridges supporting I-25 and chase the pigeons out of their nests. I used to walk or ride my bike up to the Aurora Mall, which quickly became an unsafe place to be. I used to pretend that the vegetated areas around the heavily polluted Highline Canal were somewhere unreachable by the rest of the world. We knew all of our neighbors for 3 blocks in each direction and they all said hello to me when I rode by on my dirt bike. I always imagined that it would be pretty bitchin' to live somewhere else, to be somewhere I had never been, but I really was pretty content with where I was. Wanting to be gone was enough. Just days after my twelfth birthday, my family moved to a rural town about 30 miles away from Aurora. It was an eternity away from what I knew as my life. Conveniently, this was at the tail end of my childhood memories. A rather clean break from the first part of my life and I hated it. I had no friends at all for the first two years after we moved because I had suddenly become "weird." I failed a class for the first time in my life. Our nearest neighbors were not visible from the house and we lived 3 miles away from town (needless to say, entirely too far to just walk to). Eventually things got better and I made it out of my rut - as most mildly well-adjusted people eventually do - and everything around me became my life again. I found the other freaks and made some of the best friends I will ever have. I got into and out of drugs, got a license and a car and a grudge against the world. Every once in a while I would go back to Aurora and see all the places that I used to know so well and I would get these amazing bouts of nostalgia. I would go out of my way to drive through my old neighborhood and see my former house. But I still saw everything through my childhood's eyes. I never saw the street corner; I saw the corner we used to skate on. I couldn't see the pedestrian overpass; I saw the big ugly green bridge we used to avoid having to walk over. I had a perfectly preserved vacuum of everything the way it used to be, and I saw it all so infrequently that it could remain preserved. After high school I made my way to the University life that was on the other side of the state. Another clean break. But this was much easier and better. I was go glad to be out of my parents' house, get away from everything that had gotten stale and recreate myself to a whole new group of strangers. Strangely, I was in Aurora more during my first three years of College than my whole Jr. high and High School career. I met new people who lived in and near my old neighborhood, so I got to see that area more frequently. I was suddenly driving down streets I only remembered walking down before. Every time I drove down them they became a little more common to me again. At the end of my junior year at the university, I left the college and moved back to Aurora. Now I do errands in the mini malls I used to hang out at and I can't see my friends sitting on the curb anymore. Even in the summer, everything seems slightly dimmer than it used to be and it's getting harder to remember what it used to be like at all. When I was a kid, I was able to turn anything I saw into anything I wanted it to be in my head. Now I analyze everything until I am at the very core of what they are. It's kind of depressing that I have essentially killed off the aura of my childhood and reduced to a vapid lump of events. I suppose that is to be expected when you remain in the city you grew up in. Of course, I still love it here or I would have moved by now but I miss having what I used to remember. You always lose something. -Wednesday =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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