=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Hate Therapy ------------ So I found myself in something of a funk last week. Before I go on, let me define "funk" in my terms and give a bit of background. When I was in Jr. High and High School, I found myself constantly wallowing in depression and self-directed hatred. I never opened the blinds, never went out, had no real friends to speak of, spent hours just staring at the ceiling and basically just wanted to will myself out of existence on a daily basis. I was as close to goth as one can get without listening to all that shitty music (Insert pseudo-apology to goths here). And for as close as I came several times, I, fortunately, never got up the balls to put the shotgun in my mouth. It's easiest for me to justify that whole "phase" as teenage hormonal and psychological confusion. But upon further introspection, I see some other factors involved in my departure from self-destructive tendencies. I have to think the main thing was that I externalized everything. So anyway, like I said, I was in this funk last week. It's as close to depression as I have been in a while. As usual, it was for no particular reason, what so ever (which always makes me feel even lamer since there is no cause at all.) I had been keeping to myself for a couple of days, didn't even feel like going out or dealing with anyone. So what do I do? I go out. Why? To mingle with the rest of the humans that invoke emotions greater than depression. To get angry. And I'll be damned if I didn't feel better after driving around, screaming at all the morons on the road and being annoyed with every single idiot in Denny's. The beauty of it is, you don't even need something personal to hate them for. You don't have to be racist or elitist or fascist. You just have to be a ME-ist. Just to know that all the people around you, are not you, is often enough to dislike them at the very least. It makes things easier that way. I think people underestimate the the therapeutic value of hating other people. It is infinitely easier to get pissed and Joe Schmo for being a fucking prick bastard, moron than to rip myself apart inside believing that it's ME that's a worthless piece of shit. It could be true, but you can't make me believe it anymore. Especially since I have come to think more highly of myself than I used to. If you don't give a shit about yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Common sense, I thought. But when you take all the destructive chaos that does nothing but pick away at your mind and ego and you make other people wear your nastiness, it takes all the shit off your shoulders. I know this sounds really "prickly" to some of you random-acts-of-kindness people and all I have to say is: you're hated too. Don't feel left out. What you have to understand is that some people are incapable of seeing any bright sides. You just have to go with the steaming pile of shit emotion that makes you the least uncomfortable. You just have to cope. The down side for the hate-therapy is if you are one of those people that don't like being judged as a bitch/ asshole before anyone really knows anything about you, this probably isn't the method for you. You get into the cynic's mindset about everything and it's hard to get out even when you want to. Personally, I could give a shit. I'm not a big fan of the Human Race as a whole. I got used to people assuming I'm a bitch. But that's another story. So the moral of THIS story is, give hate a chance. - Wednesday =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=