c:\Qedit TopSecret.doc Bad Sector(s) on disk C:\ Sector(s) Not found (A)bort (R)etry (I)can load it but I'd have to kill you afterwards. Datawaste Productions Is Proud to Present: ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ°°°°°°±±±±±±²²²²²²ÛÛBAD SECTORÛÛ²²²²²²±±±±±±°°°°°°ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ °°°°°°±±±±±²²²²ÛÛIN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE!ÛÛ²²²²±±±±±°°°°°° ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛISSUE III VOLUME I SERIES IÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß A feeble attempt at humor slightly related to anything dealing with the online community. STAFF Editor in chief and Vice-God of Branch Dividians: Vince Lortho, Elric, Vocus Sadri, Lord of Vabul Sanitation engineer. Submitting Writers: No one that I know of. One was written while under the influence of a Quija board. Volume 0 April 1994 Number 0C 1 Amazing Intro Screen 2 To PC or not to PC? 3 Nuts & Bolts & Orcs 4 Taglines 5 Top Ten List 6 Killer Hamsters 7 Crap 8 TOP SECRET Info Are you politically Correct? I doubt it but you may be Mentally challenged. Written by Saul Jerushalmy & Rens Zbignigwiuw X. I think? Q: WHAT IS P.C.? PC stands for Politically Correct. We of the Politically Correct philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance for a DIVERSITY of cultures, race, gender, ideology and alternate lifestyles. Politically Correctness is the only social and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees with this philosophy is bigoted, biased, sexist, and/or closed-minded. Q: WHY SHOULD I BE PC? Being PC is fun. PCism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life! PC offers the satisfaction of knowing that you are undoing the social evils of centuries of oppression. Q: I AM A WHITE MALE. CAN I STILL BE PC? Sure. You just have to feel very guilty. Q: WHY? If you are a white male, your ancestors were responsible for practically every injustice in the world- slavery, war, genocide and plaid sportscoats. That means that YOU are partially responsible for these atrocities. Now it is time to balance the scales of justice for the descendants of those individuals whose ancestors your ancestors pushed down. Q: HOW? It's simple. You've got to be careful what you say, what you think, and what you do. You just don't want to offend anyone. Q: YOU MEAN I SHOULD GUARD AGAINST OFFENDING ANYONE? That's right. Being offensive is destructive, and will not make the world a harmonious utopia, like in John Lennon's IMAGINE. Q: HOW ELSE CAN I BE PC? Oh, there are lots of ways. For example, why buy regular ice cream when you can buy "Rain Forest Crunch?" Segrega..whoops..separate all of your garbage into different containers: glass, metal, white paper, blue paper, plastic, etc. Make sure that all your make-up has not been tested on animals. Try to find at least sixty ways to use your water; when you take a shower, brush your teeth at the same time. Then don't let the water go down the drain, use it to irrigate your lawn. Or better yet, replace your lawn with a vegetable garden. Don't use aerosol. And by all means, don't burn or deface our flag. Remember, as a citizen of the United States, your living in God's country. If you are fortunate enough to know your ethnic heritage, dress the part! Don't do drugs. You should listen to at least one of the following PC musicians: U2, REM, Sinead O'Connor, Sting, or KD Lang. Harrass people who wear fur coats. Remind them that an innocent baby seal was mercilessly clubbed. Or just yell, "FUR." They hate that. And don't EVER eat meat. Q: DON'T EAT MEAT? WHY NOT?! Cows are animals, just like humans are animals. That means that they have rights. When you eat meat, you're oppressing animals! Q: SO ALL KILLING IS BAD? No, not always. Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian Gulf. You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when it doesn't. Q: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN AN ANIMAL HAS RIGHTS? The general rule is as follows: IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY, HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS. Examine the following chart: RIGHTS NO RIGHTS -------- ----------- cows cockroaches cute bunnies flies dolphins in tuna nets tuna in tuna nets whales sharks red squirrels gray squirrels owls loggers harbor seals barnacles Q: WOW. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO BE PC? Hug a tree. Rejoice each day in our cultural differences, for they are what gives flavour to our great country. Get in touch with your sexual identity. Check your refrigerator for freon leaks. Subscribe to National Geographic. Search it for neat non-Western cultural traditions and costumes. After you read it, use the paper as an alternate fuel source. Q: I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ALL OF THIS. If you are feeling unsure about your motivation, just remember. YOU ARE RIGHT. It's that simple. You are right. Q: HOW DO I KNOW IF AN ACTION IS UN-PC? Good question. It's important to know when someone is saying something insensitive so that you can have that person removed from society. The guideline is as follows: Is the confrontation between two white people? Yes -> The liberal is right. No -> The white person is oppressing the ethnic person. Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading of Mayor Marion Barry, or the Clarence Thomas issue, are really race issues. Here's a fun practice drill for you: See how many newspaper articles you can make into race bias stories. It's fun! Some PCers are so good they can make the weather report look like a KKK pamphlet! Q: WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SEE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING NON-PC? It all depends on the situation. If you are not in a position of authority, by all means report this activity immediately to whomever is in charge. If your school leader, employer, or superior is hip to the trend of the 90s, she or he will take the necessary steps to have the insensitive offender disciplined. Q: BUT ISN'T THAT CENSORSHIP? The Constitution never meant for racism, sexism and insensitivity to be espoused by anyone. That's not what free speech is about. Some call it censorship. PCers call it "selective" speech. Saying something negative about a particular race or gender is just as damaging as, say, punching them in the face. We just can't allow that kind of verbal assault. Q: I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT PC WORDS TO REPLACE "BLACK," "INDIAN." ETC. Yes. That's part of the PC movement. You see, part of the way we think about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take "black" for instance. Why should a person be judged by the color of their skin? Q: YOU MEAN THEY SHOULD RATHER BE JUDGED BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER? No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors are from. If your great grandparents are from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should be identified by that fact. You can even apply for special scholarships! Q: I'M A MIXTURE OF FRENCH, GERMAN, ENGLISH, AND RUSSIAN. CAN I GET ONE? No, there are no scholarships for any of those. Sorry. If you are a woman, however, there should be plenty. Q: HEY, WOULDN'T A WHITE PERSON FROM LIBYA OR EGYPT TECHNICALLY BE AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN? Technically, yes. But that's not the kind of African-American we mean. That is, we're REALLY talking about skin color, but we're pretending that we aren't. Another example: A white South-African U.S. immigrant is not an African-American either. Q: HOW CAN I LEARN TO MAKE MY LANGUAGE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT? For more help, see the PC LEXICON at the end of the handbook. Q: I'D LIKE MY CHILD TO BE PC. WHAT CAN I DO? Well, for one thing, we should forcibly encourage students to volunteer their time with philanthropies. Also, we should re-emphasize non-Western perspectives on history. Finally, we should re-structure tests and quizzes to reflect cultural biases. Q: I DON'T GET IT. Well, the way the system works now, "select" under-represented minorities who tend to do worse on entrance tests have lower standards of admissions at school and work and receive preferential treatment. This is unfair and wrong. Q: IT IS? Yes. The truly PC way to do it is to have a different grading scale for different groups which gives or subtracts points from the final score, depending on who is taking the test. If you are white, then you have been benefited by society during your life. That means that you lose ten to fifteen points to make the test fair to everyone else. Q: I GUESS THAT SOUNDS RIGHT. It IS right. That's the beauty of PC. Q: WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF? Humor. PC people take every comment VERY seriously. We will not accept any comment, joke, remark, or anything that sounds like it could be a racial slur. Q: GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE. "What's black and white and red all over?" has been staple humor for decades. Not PC---it can be taken the wrong way. In every day speech, try to use phrases like, "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle African-American." Any racial jokes or jokes even mentioning culture or gender should be omitted. True, this mostly limits comedy to the level of sitcoms, but that's the price you pay for social equality. Q: IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO IT? Yes. The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that people are diversely equal. We rejoice in this equality by treating people differently based on their equal individuality. Hop aboard the bandwagon... Be PC. Or you're an intolerant, racist, sexist insensitive pig. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- PC LEXICON ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Insensitive Term" "Preferred Term" ------------------ ---------------- -> ETHNICITY <- (PC people do not recognize the term, "race," as valid) Black - African-American (NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE LIBYANS, EGYPTIONS, WHITE S-AFRICANS. DOES INCLUDE PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.) Oriental - Asian-American (NOTE: NOT CONSIDERED "REAL" MINORITIES SINCE THEY TEND TO DO WELL) Indian - Native-American (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING TEAMS ARE NOT PC: Atlanta Braves Cleveland Indians Kansas City Chiefs Washington Redskins AVOID THESE CITIES!!!) Chicano - Hispanic (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC: Cheech and Chong Chico and the Man episodes Cisco Kid Rosarita Salsa Speedy Gonzales AVOID! AVOID!) Towel Head/ Ay-Rab - Arab-American White Trash - PC Unaware Rustically Inclined WASP (white male) - Insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO) -> GENDER <- (PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations) Woman - Womyn, Vaginal-American Girl - Pre-Womyn Housewife - Domestic Engineer Fireman - Firefighter Stewardess - Flight Attendant Meter Maid - Parking Enforcement Aduciator Post Man - Post Person Mail Man - Person Person Policeman (cop, pig) - Law Enforcement Officer Baton Boy Cal. Clubber Prostitute - Sex Surrogate (Teen Victim. See: Broken Home) Mankind, Human - Earth Children -> PEOPLE : SUB-GROUPS <- Handicapped - Physically Challenged Differently Abled Handi-Capable (Blind - Optically Darker Photonically Non-receptive Deaf - Visually Oriented) Poor - Economically Unprepared Bum - Homeless Person Displaced Homeowner Philosophy Major Hunter - Animal Assassin Meat Mercenary Bambi Butcher Whaler - Blubber Lovers Old Person / Elderly - 4th-Dimentionally Extended Gerontologically Advanced Conservative - Right Wing Extremist Fascist Pig Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged Bald - Comb-Free Bisexual - Sexually Non-preferential Midget, Dwarf - Little People Vertically Challenged Convict - Socially Separated Insane People - Selectively Perceptive Mental Explorers (person with) (person with) Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability Tree-Hugger - Environmental Activist Logger - Wood Weasel Paper Pirate Treeslayer Dead People - Dysfunctional Earth Children -> MISCELLANEOUS <- Broken Home - Dysfunctional Family HouseBroken - Family Disfunction Cattle Ranch - Cattle Concentration Camp (CCC) "Moo-shwitz" Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim Ghetto/Barrio - (EHA) Ethnically Homogenous Area Pre-Integrated Pre-Nirvana Hamburger - Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh (SMAF) Cheeseburger - Adding Insult to Injury Cheating (in School) - Academic Dishonesty Used Books - Recycled Books Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units Gang - Youth Group Pimp-mobile, Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transportation Option Drunk/Trashed - Spatially Perplexed Slum - (EOZ) Economic Oppression Zone Delicatessen - Corpse Farm Charnel House --------------------------------------------------------------- Heres some I found: * = Indicates ones written by myself Dead: Persons of reduced metabolic Activity Biologically challenged Vertically Challenged. * Anti-life * Cardiovascularpulmularilly challenged * Dehanced motion capabilities Obese: Differently Weighted * Quantitative mass acceleration oriented Person of matter Gravitationally challenged * Horizontial expansion syndrome psychopath: Socially misalligned Pregnant: Parasitic oppression Janitor: Sanitation Engineer Dish washer: Utensil Sanitation personell Hamburger flipper: * Manipulator of Seared Mutated animal flesh (SMAF) for monitery misalligned cattle murder facilities (see Ranches) Deaf: Aurally challenged Fishing: Where fish are murdered Ranch: Where cows are murdered Egg ranch: Where Unborn Chickens are murdered. Dairy Farm: Where cattle are raped. Conservative: Reactionary, Wrong, (See psychopath) Bald: Follicularly challenged Black: Oppressed minority White: Pigmentally challenged Male: Y-Chromosomally afflicted ---------------------------------------------------------------- If you think of anymore let me know about them. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Nuts & Bolts & Orcs by Vince Lortho The other day I was talking to my shrink and he told me that I was living in a fantasy world with delusions of imaginary mental powers. "That's the craziest thing I have ever heard!", I Shouted. "You are nuts.", He shouted back. His cute secretary winch came in and asked if everything was alright. I cast a charm person spell but she made her saving through and resisted. The shrink, whom was a second level illusionist showed me some cards with ink blots on them. He asked me what they looked like. #1: A giant torg eating a dwarf. #2: A fireball exploding in a bugbears belly #3: Two winged red-dragons being slain by Elric, Vocus Sadri #4: A mage casting an icestorm spell #5: Nuts & Bolts & an Orc. "I give up!" He shouted. "Ok Peck! prepare for a flogging you fiend" I pulled out my plastic spoon +3. I hit him on the skull doing 12 points of damage and he went unconscious. The winch came in and started screaming. I attempted to cast another charm person spell but failed. "damn!" I grabbed her butt and gained 120 experience. I walked out and cast a hold person spell on the Mage in the hall. He just sat there and slobbered on himself. It worked. Good. I need to rest and get my spells restored. At that moment a White Knight charges me with a stun gun +2 and cloak of entanglement. I charged and hit him for 1d8 +3 damage to the head. He staggered and lost his turn. I began to cast a fireball spell. It backfired and hit the peasant down the hall killing him. I gained 24 experience points. The White knight, whom was out of his armor, charged. I flee'd and found a secret door. I pushed it open and found a broom and a plunger+2. "Oh well it will have to do." I said. I hid and waited to ambush the Knight. I recognized the insignia upon his breast. He was a Knight of the Berrymore Correction facitilty. A very powerful ring of knights. But unlike the Knights of the Los Angeles who wear some sort of mystical armor that my weapons cannot penetrate. I hope never to meet them again. The knight passed by. "Aha!" I exclaimed. He was startled and I had the first strike. I swung with the plunger+2 and missed. He charged and attacked with his magical stun-gun. I took 2d10 damage and failed my saving throw against electric missles. I awoke in a white room with a small portal I had a cloak of entanglement on. I couldn't cast a spell with my arms bound. Oh well, I advanced a level when I killed that bum and I'll gain a fireball spell. And to believe they think I'm crazy. They'll see. F.R.E.: 86 F.G.L.: 3 G.F.I.: 5 What have You done to frustrate a LIBERAL Today? Nurse! I said: "SLIP off his SPECtacles!" Suicide Hotline...please hold for the next available..." 486SX: When only the most recent mediocrity will do... A KGB keyboard has no key. A living example of Artificial Intelligence. Aliens have invaded Earth! How else do you explain DOS? Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight's Conference. I can see clearly now, my brain is gone..... ---> Chelsea has two mommies. "Security to bridge!!! Data is being formatted!" I played poker with tarot cards: got a flush and five people died. 9 out of 10 rotweilers prefer Jehovah's Witnesses. ÝÝÝÝ Don't panic.. it's only a virus ÝÝÝÝ Conservative: (n) Liberal who has been mugged. 'Build a watch in 56,179 easy steps' by C. Forsberg. 747s are nice, but Town Cars don't fall 30,000ft. I'd prefer the non-smoking lifeboat, please." Last words at R&E's BBS: "Russ, go see who's at the door" Top 10 Things That'll Get You Kicked Out of a Department Store - December 22, 1992 10. Macing a perfume tester. 9. You and a friend each stand in one leg of the extra-large slacks. 8. Announce over K-Mart loudspeaker that for next 15 minutes, all male shoppers can take a shot at Jaclyn Smith. 7. Try on red-and-white striped sweater, walk around store screaming, "I'm Waldo!" 6. Repeatedly ask salesman in men's department to measure your inseam. 5. Squeeze into outfit from kids' department, tell clerk you "can't find Mommy." 4. Your idea of testing a mattress involves a Thermos-full of Rob Roys and a couple of hookers. 3. Block the down escalator for an hour doing Stairmaster-style workout. 2. Keep shouting from dressing room: "Boy - do I look weird naked!" 1. Licking the mannequins. I posted this on my UFO conference once and well, it wasn't that funny but a few people laughed so I degrade my wit once more. CHECK YOUR HAMSTER cage... it could contain a space alien. That is the astonishing warning going out to the nation's homes after an incredible security blunder. The tiny invaders from space have ended up in pet shops and been sold as hamsters. The furry and highly intelligent creatures were captured after their space craft crashed near a Coast Guard station off the coast of Maine three years ago. They were taken to a top secret center in Maryland while scientists tried to find out more about them. But animal' rights activists raided the center last month and took them away in a truck after packing them in pet store crates. Then, in an astonishing twist of fate, the activists' truck was stopped by police who took the crates away believing they had been taken from a chain of pet stores. A police official has told the FBI: "We then made a real snafu and returned them to what we thought were the owners. By the time we realized our error, it was to late and the pet wholesaler had distributed the 'hamsters' all over the U.S." A top level government official admitted the blunder to the SUN and says: "They may look cute and cuddly, but they are fierce warriors." Officials warn that more than 3.000 of the hamster like aliens were freed. The FBI, Secret Service, U.S. Marshals and ATF agents are sweeping the nations pet stores in hopes of capturing the four inch high aliens and returning them to the detention compound. The unnamed spokesman says that almost 1,800 have been rounded up so far, but about 1,200 are still on the loose. "Most of these are probably held in cages by unwary children," he says. "They're almost in distinguishable from real hamsters, except for pointed ears and dazzling green eyes. and a small triangular brand with a star inside their left ears. "They also tend to walk on their rear legs more than real hamsters, and use their front paws like hands. "The aliens are very intelligent and dexterous and use tools very effectively. They can turn a sewing needle or a razor blade into a deadly weapon." The aliens also appear to chatter more than real hamsters, especially among themselves. "They are actually speaking to each other," says the spokesman. "Some also attempt to converse with humans but we have not yet been able to completely understand their language. "They are not friends. Their purpose is to conquer Earth but it appears they had no idea how big humans are and they feel overawed by our size." The 20 foot craft was detained with relative ease by the Coast Guard because the crash had disabled its weaponry and most of the aliens had been knocked unconscious. Their warlike nature was exposed when several of them exited the ship firing "ray guns" at the Coast Guardsmen. The attack was quickly neutralized by two blasts from a pump action shotgun. Security forces disarmed the aliens still in the ship and took them in cages to the center in Maryland. The inside government source added: "From what we have learned we believe they came as scouts for an invasion force circling Jupiter. So far we've managed to convince the main force commander that we'll be too tough a nut for them to crack, but we have no idea just how large that force is and what sort of weapons they have. We must capture all the aliens right away. "We don't want any of them to find a way to communicate with the main armada near Jupiter. The aliens' weapons are impressive. They have greater range than anything we possess but they are only geared to knock out small creatures and only succeed in giving humans slight burns. A group of animal rights activists released the aliens - believing they were real hamsters and that the government was using them in some bizarre experiment - by breaking into the compound and hauling the cages off on trucks. Their plan was to take them into the Smokey Mountains and release them, but police foiled their scheme." One pet shop owner in the suburbs of Los Angeles confessed he had been visited by police looking for "stolen hamsters." Ronald McAury said: "They sure were mysterious about it. I could not make out why they had protective clothing and were armed to the teeth. They looked at my hamsters and went away without taking anything." Is your hamster an alien? Contact us on the SUN's Alien Hotline number (407) 997-7733. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Yes, by all means check your hamsters! It could save your life! :-) Our Official distribution sites: I have cut out a few BBS's. I cut out H.O.L.E. Due to the fact that It is mostly amiga based and I wanted to keep only two BBS's per area in Ohio. I also cut Bait House for the same reason and because I don't like the sysop and his friends. I cut another one but I can't remember the name of it now. Places I can be reached: -=United States=- INTERNET Anonymous FTP Site: ftp.erinet.com : /pub/badsectr/Bad_Sector: Bad Sector Mags /pub/badsectr/Patriot: OHIO Patriot Archives --Ohio-- Scotts Place BBS (513)236-9771 v.32bis 19.2 Acct: Vince Lortho (513)237-9776 v.32bis 14.4 Note: Great BBS (513)236-9786 v.32bis 19.2 4 CD's + 1.3 gigs Sysop: Scott Brown Fido: 1:110/615 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Wolverines lair (513)422-9652 USR HST DS 16.8 Acct: Bad Sector Sysop: Peter Mengel Note: Renegade Fido: 1:110/525 alpha site. ------------------------------------------------------------------ CCS (513)424-2495 Boca 14.4 Acct: BAD SECTOR Sysop: Paul Sink Note: Only BBS where Fido: 1:110:??? I paid money to! ------------------------------------------------------------------ J&J's BBS (513)233-0917 (5 lines) Acct: Bad Sector Sysop: Joseph Caplinger & Joe Jr. Note: Great BBS Fido: <> First Distro site! 2.3 gigs Total ------------------------------------------------------------------ Personal Payphone (513)743-9324 Ask for Piss Boy If you give over $100.00 donations I will write a two page Add-on how much of a great person you are and give you a floppy disk Chock full o' Bad Sectors. If Your BBS wants to be a distribution Site (I don't know why?) then Email me on these fine BBS's above or send me email at the above address. If you send it I'll read it to. I only allow two BBS's in one area. I may allow one more Dayton BBS but only if they give me Leech status on their BBS. This magazine may be going onto the Internet. I not sure yet. Also I may have a couple of Groupies in Penn. and Belgium. I really don't expect this Mag to go this far. I have heard rumors that Aliens abducted someone while reading this Mag and they have decided to invade. I contacted Zeta Reticuli II and they told me that it was a hoax and relations with the Democratic party are still intact. DISCLAIMER This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices. Download Complete. 32909 total bytes, 498 bytes/sec