ATI - Our Germane-ness Precedes Us. , _ || ' < \, =||= \\ /-|| || || ramadan - december 1998 - new moon (( || || || \/\\ \\, \\ 158 CLINTON BEGS FOR ARTICLE FIVE DOCTORS GIVE PACK PERMISSION TO WIN Headlice you didn't see. Hello, welcome to ATI. This is issue 158. But of course, who's counting? We begin with Prime Anarchist's weekly column, then we have letters to the editor, then our phemus #'s run, then assorted other wild raucus caucus stuff. Happy particles of him peach mint. -PA- CLINTON WAGS DOG pRiME aNArChISTs CoLUmN. THURSday 1pm EDT. Strong statement to every member of the MEDIA: You suck. How many dead? Wounded?! How many homeless. The war has been raging for scores of hours now and nobody knows or cares. You have each broken the fundamental principles of your field!!! Have you no shame? You are all fired. The war will not be televised. If you cannot be troubled with wrestling over the death-count; struggling over the difficult details that must be minded at all costs, if the sublime beauty of the war, the night sky over baghdad, stuff like that is more important to you than the facts, then go home. You suck. Go home. part 2. (final part) Bob Livingston, What's with this "6 months" doo doo? You're resigning? Go home today and shut up. Leave your office - go home. Pack up your stuff. Take your Columbia State University diplomas off my walls and go home. Do not pass go, do not collect 6 months pay. Go directly to home. You whining little maggot. You want my opinion, let's bring every Senator and Congressperson in under oath and play 20 questions. If any of them DON'T LIE, why, we'll work with all 5 (five) of them. Clear the bench. Bob Livingston, Shut up. ------------------------------ Lettuce For Your Chewing Over: ------------------------------ ATI: I live in North Mississippi using Bell South. I know that there is a number one can dial that will prompt an automated response to let you know the number you are dialing from. (ID the line number) I see the Bell South guys do it with their butt-sets all the time to ID the line they are checking out. I would like to know this number if anyone knows it. Please email me if you can help. Thanks in advance!!!!! jawdoc@netbci.com (601) Marco, Why the *$^% did you ask *me* about Sam Kinneson?!? I saw Sam back in my military days. He was pretty awesome. He was on fire. He asked us about our stools. He was funny. He owed me a lot of money, so he played in a theatre in town instead of the comedy club I used to perform in. His last couple years he traveled with 4 armed guards who were instructed to hurt or kill anyone who came up asking for money. I feel sorry for him. He was funny. He thought he was Jesus. His penis was crooked. He told us that. Jesus would have said that, if it was true. Sam Kinneson was Jesus. Don't excommunicate me, it's true. Gonzo (415) You know you've opened yourself up for some interesting (and hopefully good natured) replies with that last typo Mike :-) (202) To ATI: Which came first - the parry or the thrust? High Crimes & Misdemeanors? A Clear & Present Danger? Signed, The Ko-Respondant (01 964 1) Marco here is a transcipt of a "dylan original" benny hill did, of all cazy things to find on the web. i remember this it was quite good. maybe you can print it somehwre (ati??) -Jeff In an early 80's episode of "The Benny Hill Show", Hill performed a very poignant song while impersonating Bob Dylan. Here it is... "A couple settled down with their newborn child and their marriage was falling to bits. The mother said "Let's call him Johnny." and the father said "Let's call it quits!" When Johnny was four, his Pa was too poor to buy toys from the Christmas shop shelf So he fired his gun and told his young son that Father Christmas had shot himself Now one day his Ma took him to a fair and he went on the roundabout He giggled with glee and said, "I wanna go wee!" Everyone heard the boy shout. She took him by the hand and from the fairground they ran She took him behind a big tree She said, "Now shut your row. ou can go wee now!" He took a deep breath and yelled "Wee!" Then he said "Please can we go 'round again? Please, Ma, can we go 'round again? I love the sound of the merry-go-round I wanna go 'round again. I'll do all of my homework, I'll even kiss old Auntie Gwen I won't shout out loud Ma, I'll make ya proud Please let me go 'round again." At 12, he danced with his headmistress. She said, "Johnny, you're wicked and bad. I wish I was your Ma for just half an hour." John said, "I think I'll have a word with my dad." Someone dropped a lit cigarette Down the back of her dress but she didn't shout. She just walked off the floor and said, "What a bore! I guess I'll just sit this one out." Then John said, "Please can we go 'round again Miss Rose? Please can we go 'round again? I have never been this close to a woman before and heck knows when I will again. I tell you true I can dance with you Till the cows come home and then I can dance with a cow so please, Miss Rose let me go 'round again." At 18, Irene with the hourglass figure Got Johnny in a heck of a fix. Her Pa came 'round and Jonny was found with his hands on a quarter to six. They were married the next day in the church by the bay, 10 am on the 15th of June. She looked lovely in white as she said, "Johnny...tonight." Johnny said "The heck with tonight. It's afternoon!" Can we go 'round again? In the meantime, we can go 'round again. I tell ya I haven't been as happy as this since I can't remember when. Seein' you lay there beside me damn near blows my mind. Oh please can we go 'round again and again and then 'round again one more time?! At 50, he took to comin' home late But he wasn't a creature of habit. If he came home early, his wife thought he was after something If he came home late,she thought that he'd had it! Johnny's mother-in-law came to live next door Her tounge stung John like a bee She said, "I'll dance on your grave!" John said "Now that's a brace, 'cause I'm gonna be buried at sea!" He was just 91 on the day he passed on It was the way he thought it would be. He was shot by the beauty queen's husband in a fit of jealousy. As he lay on the floor, the priest was sent foreward and with his last breath, Johnny confessed, "I spend all my money on women and drink and like a fool I squandered the rest!" Lord, can I go 'round again? Please, can I go 'round again? I can't believe that I'll never see your sky or trees again. The girls and the wine and the livin' was fine and I shouldn't complain but then... You give damn short rides on this fairground of your's Lord, Oh please let me go 'round again!!! M- The beetle recognizes the other. M- (01 525) Warrior Poet Society Sunday, Nov 8, 3pm At Wetlands Preserve, 161 Hudson Street, NYC. Bring Poetry & Songs [ed: oops. got it too late.] Hey Prime! Is Oliver North's aura gray or what? He's materially wealthy yet spiritually bankrupt. Maria Faulkner. (215) --- ATI - The Rag Read Round the Rotisserie --- A REPORT FROM THE FRONT: At Least the Georgia One. By David. I'd say less than half the crowd crossed. So there were at least 4,000 some-odd total, and some estimates were as high as seven thousand. No one was technically "arrested" at all. No one was processed, there was no attempt made to segregate second "offenders", and many of us simply got off the busses without waiting to be given permission. The "ban and bar" letters given out were only for the day, and most folks refused them or turned them in to be returned in bulk. Dropping us off in the park was a tactical booboo on the cops part. We had two non-permitted marches though working class residential neighborhoods, a neat and unexpected propaganda opportunity. soli, David hola, #'s run. 4 U! http://www.pen.org/freedom/poem.htm http://www.fhrg.org/chiaps1.htm http://www.pyramid.net/comfortzine http://www.mindspring.com/~fragments http://www.furious.com/~jstearns/firesign.html http://flag.blackened.net/revolt/mexico.html http://eng.hss.cmu.edu/bs/24/sauer.html http://www.cybergrrlz.com http://www.thebird.org http://pw1.netcom.com/~kappel1/int.html http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli http://www.adbusters.org . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ATTN: Zinesters, Hipsters, Yippies... . . Cap 'N Crunch (aka john draper) . . is in need of customers. . .If you would like a website with really . .spiffy looking graphics and a button saying . .something like "made by Cap 'N Crunch" . .send contact info along, and ATI will get . . him in touch with you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DEAD KENNEDY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT DEATHROW INMATE Typed in for ATI by Graeme This is for those of you who may be wondering what Jello Biafra said in his new spoken word CD "If Evolution is Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Evolve" concerning Mumia Abu-Jamal. "This is only supposed to happen in the movies... An innocent person when they least expect it falls into an unbelievable chain of events and finds themselves accused of a crime they could not possibly have committed. Every step in the justice system goes wrong, all seems hopeless as the camera rolls closer and closer to the death chamber, until finally, at the very last minute, the authorities are proven wrong and the accused is set free to live happily ever after as the credits roll. After all, this is America, where these sort of nightmares do not happen, because our justice system is fair... [ed note: Graeme wants you to "Think of Biafra as Bill Hicks without as many jokes." If that doesn't bother you, he recommends you check him out. Biafra's record label, Alternative Tentacles, is also releasing some spoken word stuff by Mumia. wait more...] "Now imagine that you are a respected, award-winning and courageous journalist whose news reports are sometimes critical of a notoriously violent and corrupt police department. Suddenly the nightmare happens to you... Shot through the liver at the scene of a crime, instead of helping you the cops beat you as you lie on the sidewalk and allegedly beat you again inside the hospital... Not in Haiti, not in China but in the United States of America... when you wake up from surgery the nightmare is still there, you are the one accused of what the corporate media tells us is the 'ultimate unforgiveable sin': killing a police officer. You have no criminal record, ballistics tests don't add up, there is plenty of evidence that you did not and could not commit this crime, but the nightmare just gets worse. Evidence that could clear you disappears, witnesses disappear, a judge who has sentenced more than twice as many people to death than anyone else in the United States denies you a competent lawyer AND denies you the right to defend yourself. Appeals are denied by the very judges who ruled the opposite way in almost identical cases... not in Mexico, not in Nigeria but in the United States of America. And unlike the movies, this time a headline-hungry governor salivates like a giggling crocodile, eager to put a black man to death with the stroke of a pen, to hold up as a trophy to enhance his political career..." PRIME ANARCHIST wishes a happy 30th birthday to the mouse. The fish in the water - an allegory maybe - as retold by some zapatista. Old Antonio tells a history that the oldest of the old of his community told him. There once was a very beautiful fish... that lived in the river. The lion saw the fish and he had a craving to eat it. The lion went to the river but he saw that he could not swim in the river and attack the fish. The lion asked for advice from the opossum who told him, "It's simple. The fish cannot live without water. The only thing you have to do is to drink the water from the river and that way the fish will stay without moving and then you can attack it and eat it." The lion was pleased with the opossum's advice and he paid him with a high position in his kingdom. The lion went to the edge of the river and began to drink the liquid. He died bursting from the water. The opossum remained unemployed. Tan tan. Well, as they say in some sexist think-tank, "That's all she wrote." We end with a Christmas Parody by marco. For pair of D's are the best form of flattened trees. Oh, you'd better watch out, You'd better not cry, Stay in bed, I'm telling you why: Cynical is coming to town. It's murphy's law Whatever can will You're gonna find out; it's worse elsewhere still. Cynical is coming; to town. They'll get you while you're sleeping It's worse when you're awake It'll happen anytime of day Murphy's law for goodness sake. Oh, you'd better watch out You'd better not cry, Stay in bed, I'm telling you why: Cynical is coming to town, Cynical is making you frown! Response? ati@etext.org Back issues? http://www.etext.org/Zines Website? http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist FTP? ftp://ftp.downcity.net/pub/ati news? alt.society.ati