From: Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca (Charlie Gibbs) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: 29 Apr 91 02:35:49 GMT Subj: Fun with UNIX | | Some humorous things to do to a UNIX system: | | >From the csh (c shell): | | % make love | Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. | | % got a light? | No match. | | % sleep with me | bad character | | % man: Why did you get a divorce? | man:: Too many arguments. | | % rm God | rm: God nonexistent | | % make 'heads or tails of all this' | Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop. | | % make sense | Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop. | | % make mistake | Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop. | | % make bottle.open | Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop. | | % \(- | (-: Command not found. | | % rm -i God | rm: remove God? y | % ls God | God not found | % make light | Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop. | | % date me | You are not superuser: date not set | Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988 | | % man rear | No manual entry for rear. | | % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have? | Too many )'s. | | % * How would you describe George Bush | *: Ambiguous. | | % %Vice-President | %Vice-President: No such job. | | % ls Meese-Ethics | Meese-Ethics not found | | % "How would you rate Reagan's senility? | Unmatched ". | | % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? | Missing ]. | | % ^How did the^sex change operation go? | Modifier failed. | | % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex | % more sex | sex: Permission denied | % mv sex show | % strip show | strip: show: Permission denied | | % who is my match? | No match. | | % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i | Democratic_Platform unreadable | | % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking" | awk: syntax error near line 1 | awk: bailing out near line | | % %blow | %blow: No such job. | | % 'thou shalt not commit adultery' | thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found. | | And from the bourne shell (sh): | | $ drink < bottle;opener | bottle: cannot open | opener: not found | | $ test my argument | test: too many arguments | | $ "Amelia Earhart" | Amelia Earhart: not found | | $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense | no sense in pretending! | | $ man -kisses dog | dog: nothing appropriate | | $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages | $ mkdir matter;cat > matter | matter: cannot create | | $ lost | lost: not found | | $ found | found: not found | | $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i | Hoffa: cannot execute | rm: Hoffa nonexistent | | The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose | that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such: | | % strip bra | bra: Cannot open | | % sccs what bottle | can't open bottle (26) | | $ cat "door: paws too slippery" | can't open door: paws too slippery | | $ cat food_in_tin_cans | cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans Whenever I sense someone looking over my shoulder I type in one of the above. And, of course, I keep a file in my home directory called README which contains the following line for snoopers: cat: README: not found