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  %%                 The Official_Omnipotent_Universe_Guide                 %%
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  %%           The explanation you haven't been waiting for from:           %%
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  %%                              _The Reflex_                              %%
  %%                   [Member: Omnipotent, Incorporated]                   %%
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     Well, here you finally have it.  The official guide to the world of
Omnipotent, Incorporated.  The purpose of this file is to create further chaos
and confusion among those that haven't the slightest idea what a Goony-Goo-Goo
Mobile may be or a Ninja_Cycle or what have you.  I will try to present this in
a way that is concise, easy to read, and impossible to understand.

The Past:
---------

     Perhaps I should tell you a little about Omnipotent (as if you really want
to hear).  It's just a little group of people (mostly friends) that have a few
things in common and are out to conquer the universe.  We at Omnipotent feel
this will be an easy task once certain things have been taken care of.
Violence, sex, fun, revenge, happiness.  These are some of the things we are
out to bring to everyone.  So if you can't take a joke, then we'll probably
screw you over.  Ahem!

The Present:
------------

     As of right now, there are no Official_Omnipotent_Meetings that are held
every week or whatever.  They are simply not needed because it is felt that no
matter how much you need organization, it will always fall apart in the end, so
there is no need to organize it in the first place.  Grammar and sanity are
counted first.  Current list goes something like this:  Me and Them.  Okay, now
that we have gotten the member list out of the way, we shall continue.

     Most of Omnipotent is localized to the Houston, Texas area (713 to the
geeks), although there are chapters of Omnipotent in other areas of the
country.  To start a local Official_Omnipotent_Chapter near you, contact your

                   *** FREE PHONE SEX: (313) 433-3164!!! ***

nearest Official_Omnipotent_Representative.  This by no means that adventures
are local jokes.  No, we feel that in order to have disorder, you must really
go for the gusto and yank on the bull's balls.  This is of course considering
that you have already expired your lease on life and you no longer need it.

     Where was I?  I think it was at the part of something about aardvarks and
their relative contributions to humanity.  Oh well, this will hopefully clear
up [if] any misconceptions about us.  (Honestly, we're really nice people.)

The Future:
-----------

     There's no telling.

The Definitions:
----------------

     Oooooh!  It's that part of the file!  Yes, here is where you can decipher
what I or any other Official_Omnipotent_Member is saying.  The explanations are
for the mentally slow.  Braille transcripts are available at the Library of
Congress.

[Note:  Everything listed below can have the phrase "Official_Omnipotent_"
 placed previous to it in order to get a correct title.]

Goony-Goo-Goo_Mobile:  The Official_Omnipotent_Transportation.  This is the
                       automobile belonging to The Uncorruptable.  It is used
                       to transport Official_Omnipotent_Members to and from
                       school, work, fun, sexual misadventures, whatever.  More
                       on this astonishing automobile can be found in the
                       upcoming [plug] Omnipotent_Production "The Adventures of
                       the Goony-Goo-Goo Mobile."  Look for it soon.

Ninja_Mobile:  This is the automobile belonging to The Reflex.  It is used for
               various purposes.  Most of which have no real value at all and
               just concern trying to fill the sexual desires of certain
               individuals <AHEM!>.

Goony-Goo-Goo_Cycle:  This is the bicycle belonging to The Uncorruptable.  Has
                      no real value to be mentioned.  Just trying to waste
                      space.

Ninja_Cycle:  This is the bicycle belonging either to The Reflex or to Agent
              Macabre.  The ownership has not yet been determined, but it will
              most likely belong to AM since The Reflex has since scrapped his
              cycle after it was damaged beyond repair trying to transport me
              safely (hah!) to a location of a sexual [mis]adventure.  But we
              can't talk about that right now.

Ninja_Tang:  This is the 13-15 year old variety of young girls that are lusted
             after by Agent Macabre and myself.  Often looked down upon by The
             Uncorruptable as being too immature.  I never consider maturity
             when thinking with my gonads.  Usually looked up by Beau (Bo)
             Goltex.  I can't figure this out.  Why does he want to spell it
             Beau instead of Bo?  I guess according to Ed McMahon, "Beau
             Goltex, you could win ten million dollars!"  I think this is the
             bill that broke the Mexican's back.

Angel:  Term used to describe the one that a Member is lusting after.  This is
        most often used to represent the one known as Yvette.  Being an Angel
        means that it is possible to seek out heavenly action.  Understand?  If
        you have any information on the whereabouts of Yvette, please contact
        me on any of the boards at the end of this file.

Rumpus:  This is in no way connected to Omnipotent, Incorporated except in the
         fact that he is the subject of most of our harassment.  Even after
         moving to Chicago, he still doesn't escape it.  See "The Rumpus
         Chronicles" for further information pertaining to this freak (not
         "ph") of nature.

Crowbar:  Device used to check Official_Omnipotent_Mail.  Used to open the
          stubborn mailboxes that won't let us receive our mail.

Dog:  This would have to be Rats MacKenzie.  The only dog to look like a giant
      rat.

Music:  Music that reflects feelings felt among members.  Mostly along the
        lines of something classical such as "We Want Some P___y!"

Sunglasses:  Used to be Rumpus_Shades until theft of them occurred.

File:  Something like this.

Boredom:  What I'm running into now as I'm sure you are.  So...

Loose Ends:
-----------

     This was merely ment to explain some of the things that I have babbled
about in posts and files of the past.  The phrase "Official_Omnipotent_" is
used to mark a seal of quality and approval from us.  Look for it on any file
to show something that is classy.  I'm too tired to go into lengthy
explanations of much of the above.  Some of them will be detailed in future
files.  If you have any questions, you can reach me on the boards at the end of
this file.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(C) 1987 - Official_Omnipotent_Productions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Dark Side of the Moon AE/BBS.................................[408] 245-SPAM
The Haunted House AE/BBS.........................................[408] 773-1202
The Works Text-File-Leeching BBS.................................[914] 238-8195
P.U.D............................................................[313] 433-3164
^^^ Last and least!
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