Apollo BBS Archive - September 1988

Apollo BBS Archive - September 26, 1988



*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* $tatus Club Bulletin Board entered *=*

$tatus Club Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 4316
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: JT
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 20:24:40

It's really funny to see all of you put down JT because he supposedly makes
personal attacks instead of sticking to the issues -- and then see you say
he is trying to prop up his "self-superiority" and he probably wasn't loved
as a child.

Message: 4317
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Rod
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 20:28:53

You could call the reference librarian at your closest library and ask.
Most of the S&L problems stem from the government providing them insurance
and promising to bail them out -- without adjusting the rates based on how
risky the loans are.  If you were playing craps, and someone promised that
if you lost they'd give you money, would you put your chips on the Pass
line, or on double sixes?  The same logic applies here; removing the danger
guaranteed that they would take big risks, with the promise of big gains.

Message: 4318
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Rod
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:17:20

So Jasmine's father was merely speculating.  Nothing wrong with that,
although in this case he was mistaken.  Let this be a lesson to you:  don't
put words in other people's mouths.

Message: 4319
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Thrifts
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:20:38

I am not going to concern myself about why savings and loans are going
bankrupt, lest I forget that they are, for some reason, going bankrupt.
The new issue of The New Republic has an interesting article about how the
FSLIC's "bail-out" program has turned out to be a bonanza for wealthy
investors.  They're able to buy insolvent S&Ls for bargain prices, and the
government guarantees to pick up any losses, while they get to keep any
gains.  This because the FSLIC lacks the funds to pay off insured deposits.
The answer, of course, (not mentioned in the TNR article) is for the FSLIC
to be privatized.

Message: 4320
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Personal attacks
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:22:43

That's the way it is when you're a conservative.  When George Bush quotes
Michael Dukakis as calling himself a "card-carrying member of the ACLU,"
he's accused of "dirty campaigning."   When Dukakis calls Bush a "criminal"
or makes silly accusations about using drug money to fund the contras, well,
that's apparently fair comment.

Message: 4321
Author: $ Paul Savage
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Rod's kids
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 05:15:11

What a wonderful attitude to have toward your children!
Instead of pride and praise for their accomplishments, we see their future
sealed by daddy's negative outlook for their lives. Prophecy long enough
that they will become computer criminals, and they probably will be.
I think it's marvelous to have children who are so much more promising than
their parent ever was. Of course, Rod is probably concerned that he'll never
be able to keep up with them, mentally or sociologically. (He's probably
right too!)

Message: 4322
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: JT/ACLU
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 10:59:04

Hey, I would find nothing shameful about being a "card-carrying member of
the ACLU." Granted, there are a few wild calls here and there, but generally
they are out there protecting the freedoms of the average U.S. citizen. I
don't agree with all of what they say, but when have you ever agreed whole-
heartedly with any one person or group? There is always going to be one idea
or action or decision that you aren't going to agree with. I think that Bush
calling Dukakis an ACLU 'cardholder' was a compliment.

Message: 4323
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: David/"Attacks"
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:00:21

It is all part of a scientific and psychological experiment. Behind all the
bufoonery and apparent hypocrisy is some serious experimentation.
 
Dr. D

Message: 4324
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Westfall
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:27:04

Bush didn't actually call Dukakis a "card-carrying member of the ACLU," he
just quoted Dukakis as calling himself that.  I don't think Bush intended it
as a complement, nor was it taken that way.  No, it was taken as an
outrageous attack on Dukakis's patriotism.  Bush denied he was questioning
Dukakis's patriotism, while Dukakis insisted that "of course" he was.
Now, it seems to me there are two possibilities:  (1) Bush is right, and he
is not calling Dukakis's patriotism into question by calling him a
"card-carrying member of the ACLU."  In this case, why is Bush being acused
of "dirty campaigning" or "personal attacks"?  (2) Dukakis is right, and
Bush is calling his patriotism into question by calling him a "card-carrying
member."  In this case, though, Dukakis called his own patriotism into
question by calling himself a "card-carrying member" and surely it is fair
game for Bush to question Dukakis's patriotism.

Message: 4325
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: ACLU
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:38:13

To the extent that the ACLU is true to its ostensnible purpose of protecting
civil liberties, it is a laudable organization.  However, to a large extent,
the ACLU is not safeguarding civil liberties but instead is pursuing
a radical political agenda.  Whose civil liberties are protected when the
ACLU supports First Amendment protection for child pornography, tries to ban
religious displays on public property, opposes laws requiring girls under 18
to get parental consent before having an abortion, opposes the death
penalty, opposes all laws providing civil relief for libel and invasion of
privacy, and opposes prison sentences for all criminals except those
convicted of murder and treason?

Also, I have to wonder how Dukakis can rail against the administration or
its alleged dealings with Noriega, when he brags that he is a "card-carrying
member" of an organization that would like to make the drug-running
Panamanian dictator into a ligitimate businessman by decriminalizing drugs?

Message: 4326
Author: $ Michael James
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: JT
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 17:47:42

You misspelled compliment, ostensible, and legitimate.  Are you
menstruous?

Message: 4327
Author: $ Travis SYSOP
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: CARS
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 19:09:46

        I got a BIG reomte control truck.

        Dose anyone want to race me

Message: 4328
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Paul
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 19:19:19

        Today, junior broke into his first bank via computer.  What did you
say your account number was?  
        Glad to see your in such a damn good mood today.  Tomorrow try
getting up on a different side of the bed.
                                Me

Message: 4329
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: JT/David clone
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 19:24:53

        Well the problem has been solved for me and I now I understand.  I
did a job for an investment banker today and I asked him the same question
concerning the S & L's.  
        Our government, in all its wisdom, decided to make certain taxes
retroactive, thinking they would get a lot of revenue by doing this. 
Instead, they caused the S&L's a whole lot of trouble and because the
builders no longer had a tax advantage, they just handed the S&L's the keys
to the property and said "Later".    I can't remember his comments word for
word but I have a general understanding of the situation.  
        So, I was wrong in my assumption but the damn newspapers weren't too
specific and so I assumed wrongly.  So sue me.
                                Rod
P.S.  JT, doubtful my father-in-law was incorrect.  He gets information from
reliable sources.  

$tatus Club Bulletin Board command:EC

You chose Chit-Chat

Subject:JT

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        The banker I spoke with today thought Pete DuPont was the best 
 2:candidate and was sorry to see him out of the race.  His feelings for either
 3:Bush Or Kaka were, Oh well.
 4:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 4330

$tatus Club Bulletin Board command:JN

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* Creative Corner Bulletin Board entered *=*

Creative Corner Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 1016
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Sandy/Kontest
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 06:34:32

We havn't heard from 'Mr. Biggy' (the Mighty Sysop) if we can have a Kontest
or not. Will you please bug him for us? =*--ANN--*=

Message: 1017
Author: $ Ralph Blehm
Category: Answer!
Subject: Annie
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 09:15:39

Can I have signed copyies of you'r art? Maybe someday they will be worth
millions.
                           Ralph

Message: 1018
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Last
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:00:58

Or at least tens.

Message: 1019
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Ralphy
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:34:47

Sorry, but I'm giving up art and becomming a writer instead. Catch the story
in the Way Below Normal sig -- you could be next! heh heh heh. =*--ANN--*=

Creative Corner Bulletin Board command:JN

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* The outer COSmos Bulletin Board entered *=*

The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 2049
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Up Yours
Subject: Last
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:30:51

        What best pic.?

Message: 2050
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Rod/$10
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 06:35:59

Yeah Rod. What Kontest? Are yo

The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:RC2048-

Press  to abort

Message: 2048
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Answer !
Subject: Kontest
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 16:57:12

        I, personally will be offering a $10 reward to the best pic.

Message: 2049
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Up Yours
Subject: Last
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:30:51

        What best pic.?

Message: 2050
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Rod/$10
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 06:35:59

Yeah Rod. What Kontest? Are you talking about the one we're trying to get
together on the art sig? =*--ANN--*=

The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EA

You chose Answer !

Subject:last two

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        I thought I was on the ART SIG........sorry.  Make that $10. for the
 2:ART SIG.  Gee, how confusing.
 3:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 2051

The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:JN

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* Bulletin Board entered *=*

Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 54302
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: last
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 20:46:29

You're a miserable failure at sarcasm, too.

Message: 54303
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Rod
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:14:31

Yawn.

Message: 54304
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Presidential debate
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:14:57

Does anyone share my suspicion that Michael Dukakis is really a robot?

Message: 54305
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: JT/last
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 06:28:24

No, I do not share that suspicion. I thought Dukakis clearly came out ahead
in that debate. Bush came across like a 'moralist'. He is the one that
sounded like a robot - "I'm going to give the people back what they want"!
Where did he campain - the 'Bible Belt'? He's just another one of those
crusader's that want to force his moralistic views on everyone else. He also
'trips' on his tongue a lot and loses his train of thought.
However, they are both jerks, but at least there is hope that Michael
Dukakis might bring some needed change to this country - Bush has been a
jerk for the last 8 years and remains a jerk! But it is my opinion that Bush
will win! The people of this country seem to be afraid of change! Re: the
abortion issue - I would not vote for Bush if he was perfect in every other
way but this. I also do not believe in the death penality either. 
I still say though that 'these are slim pickings' for us to choose from.
=*--ANN--*=

Message: 54306
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Stealth Syndrome
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:11:42

I heard that people working on a certain aspect of the Stealth project are
contracting a strange and unknown disease. Has anyone heard anything about
this?

Message: 54307
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Answer!
Subject: Ann & Death Penality
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 12:50:35

        Yes Ann, we should make it easy for criminals.  Why should they
worry about punnishment.  They should feel free to murder ALL their victems
as they know they will not be put to death.  And with the Duke in power,
they will be set free to murder again.  And if they are not set free for
some reason, we (the TAX payers) will pay for their color TVs and care for
the rest of their lives. WONDERFUL Idea Ann!  But mudering babies is okay by
you.  Did you know that there is a $5,000.00 fine for destroying an Eagles
egg and one year in jail....  How come us humans are less important?

        As for the public being afraid of change, why did they landslide a
victory for Reagan over Jimmy Carter?  Because they were afraid?  No,
because they could see bad government managment under a Democratic leader.
The American people are not dumb as a whole... and the best man will win,
and it will be Bush (unless he really screws up)

        Considering Dukakass is rated a better speaker (Bull $#!+ artist)
than Bush, I thought Bush did very well.

SMILE! (-:} *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
SMILE! (-:} *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

Message: 54308
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Answer!
Subject: Ann
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 15:41:04

Today's journalist's first rule is SENSATIONALIZE.

Message: 54309
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Apro Poet
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 15:41:55

You mean the media might be biased?  Aw, come on!  Surely you jest!

Message: 54310
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Robots/DuTAXus
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 15:43:35

I don't know if he's a robot, but I'd sure like to be able to keep a
straight face and talk out of the side of my mouth like old duke.

Message: 54311
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Westfall
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:14:42

I've heard about that.  It's a very strange disease -- no symptoms.

Message: 54312
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Oudin the muddlhead
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:15:17

George Bush is the change.

Message: 54313
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Oudin 2
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:16:14

Please reconcile your opposition to capital punishment with your fervent
support of abortion.  (This should be fun.)

Message: 54314
Author: Apro Poet
Category: Politics
Subject: Project Censored
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 18:14:02

The U.S. and the contra-drug connection

  Although mounting evidence points to a large-scale
contra-CIA drug smuggling network, the major U.S. media
largely underreported this story in 1987.
  Testimony by convicted drug smugglers and private citizens
on CBS's *West 57th Street* program, and the Christic
Institute's investigations and testimony before 
congressional committees all provide a startling portrait of
large-scale drug trafficking under the auspices of the 
contras and the U.S. government.
  According to the Christic Institute, a Washington, 
D.C.-based interfaith legal foundation, "contra narcotics
smuggling stretches from cocaine plantations in Columbia, to
dirt airstrips in Costa Rica, to pseudo-seafood companies in
Miami, and finally, to the drug-ridden streets of our 
society."  The Christic Institute's investigation provided
support for allegations that the contra leadership received
direct funding and other support from major narcotics
traffickers; that some contra leaders were directly involved
in drug trafficking; that U.S. government funds for the
contras went to known narcotics dealers; and that the CIA
helped Miami-based drug traffickers smuggle cocaine into the
U.S. in exchange for the drug traffickers' help in arming 
the contras.
  Revelations of this U.S.-contra drug network first 
surfaced in 1986 when the Christic Institute filed suit 
against the U.S. government alleging complicity in the 1984
La Penca bombing, in which eight journalists were killed and
dozens of others wounded.  Among those charged with 
complicity in the La Penca bombings were such ex-CIA and
military officers as Oliver North, Richard Secord, Albert
Hakim,Theodore Shackley, Thomas Clines, and Rob Owens.
  Despite the extraordinary allegations and supporting
evidence, the major U.S. media did not commit the resources
necessary to explore those charges and their validity.  Few
media even made significant note of Attorney General Edwin
Meese's efforts to stop the Miami-based contra-CIA drug
connection investigation.

Bulletin Board command:EC

You chose Chit Chat

Subject:David

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Thanks, you're a real pile.
 2:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 54316

Bulletin Board command:JN

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board entered *=*

WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 296
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: Writing
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 20:50:46

Don't plan on writing as a career.

Message: 297
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Christian Rod!
Subject: last
Date: 09/25/88  Time: 21:24:07

Hey, stop with those personal attacks!  Just because Ann is a semi-literate
muddlehead is no reason to criticize her.

Message: 298
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: Stories...
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 00:31:41

        I think they are interesting, and am looking forward to the next
chapters.  Suddenly you are all litterature critics.  Shut up already!

SMILE! (-:} *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

Message: 299
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Story
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 01:21:03

        searches through the battered, wind blown tombstones. Using her keen
sense of smell (no relation to the blood hound) she sniffs out Diggers
rancid, nauseating odor. She finds him standing over the grave of David B.
Digger tells her about the strange shadows, the strong scent of death, the
eerie feeling that comes over one ready to die; all these happening at dusk.
        "I know it's David," stammers Digger. "I know he's come back. I know
he's gonna do us all in. I know.....I know.....I just know....." Digger
staggers back a few steps, looks Sandy in the eye, and tries to shed a tear.
The dirt on his face allows only a slight streak to form on his cheek then
changing into a mudd ball. "His grave is all dug up at night. I see
it.....then I hide in my shack. I'm afraid." Digger again tries to shed
another tear.
        Sandy bends down, she examines the dirt around David's grave. "This
dirt sure is fresh," she thinks to herself.
        "Is it all right if I stay the night, Digger? I want to stake this
grave out 'n see where it takes me." 
        Digger gives his consent and shuffles back to his shack to the
comfort of his V.O.
        Sandy settles in behind a huge tombstone using the light of the full
moon behind her to bath the grave of David B. 
        She did not have to wait long before ......

Message: 300
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: JT and David
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 06:41:57

Shut up already - your both dead - and smelly! heh heh heh

Message: 301
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Story
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 08:07:11

.... the action started. The first thing that invaded her senses was
the smell, so over powering, it brought tears to her eyes and she took
her handkerchief and tied it over her face. She was well hidden behind
a tree not too far from David's grave, but had a clear view and could
see the dirt was moving ever so slightly. She froze. The dirt suddenly
caved in and a figure start to emerge. She grabbed her gun that was
strapped to her belt and cocked it, ready!
But the figure move too swiftly and it was out of the grave and walking
towards the rusty gates of the cemetery.
Sandy came to her senses and stood up, holding the gun in front of her
with both hands! "STOP David Burkhart"! she cried in the loudest voice
she could muster. "Stop right where you are you fiend and turn around!"
The hulking, ugly dead thing stopped and slowly turned. At the sight of
such a hideous face, Sandy's knees began to grow weak, her hands
started to shake, but somehow, she held firm.
The creature's mouth began to move and it said "Sandy Sysop. I have no
fault against you. Go home!"
"Well, I have fault against you David. You've been killing off the
Apollo members one after the other and I'm here to stop you!"
The dead thing that was once the handsome David Burkhart, let out a
bone chilling laugh and said "And how do you plan to stop me? With that
little gun? Let it be Sandy and you will be safe. Go home!" At that,
the figure turned and started walking again.
"Damn it! I said stop David!"   (Cont.)

Message: 302
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Story
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 08:08:42

(Cont.)
The gruesome dead thing did not stop and started out the gates.
Sandy squeezed the trigger! 'BANG! BANG! BANG!. Three shots echoed off
the ancient tombstones, hitting their mark right in the middle of
David's back! He did not even flinch and continued to walk out the
gates and out of sight before Sandy realized her gun had no effect what
so ever. She sat down among the fetid leaves and started to cry.
"What will Cliff think of me now?" she wondered. "I just couldn't stop
him and he will kill some more - maybe even Cliff! Oh God, this has got
to end!"
 
Rod and Nick sat in the computer room pondering their fate. Rod had
cleaned the blood stains up the best he could, but they stubbornly
remained to remind him of what happened to good old Joe just two weeks
ago. Even this morning, he had found a part of Joe's flesh in the
keyboard and his ear was under the chair.
Rod sat, wringing his hands. "Damn Nick, I'm scared to death! Ever
since that stupid newspaper came out and told the world that Joe died
instead of me, I can't eat or sleep! He's out to get me and I know it!"
"No, you do not know that Rod" Nick said in a calming voice. "If he was
going to get you, you'd be dead already. This dude is accurate and he
has a purpose of some kind and evidently you are going to be spared"!
Before Rod could respond, the phone rang and he got up to answer it.
He talked for a few minutes and hung up the receiver with a bang.

Message: 303
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Story
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 08:09:55

Cont.
"I have to go out Nick. Some stupid jerk left his keys in his car and
wants me to open it for him. I'll be back in about an hour. Will you be
alright here?"
"Sure, sure. You go on ahead. I'll be OK. I don't think David has
anything against me, but I'll lock the door and won't open it for
anyone but you. Hurry back though. I don't relish being alone here with
that idiot running amok!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. See you in an hour Nick. Take care!"
 
The job took over three hours much to Rod's surprise. The lock had been
jammed and he had to brake it open with a crowbar. He sped across town
as fast as the law allowed. He jumped out of his van and locked it up
tight, going around to the side entrance of the computer room and
rapped lightly on the door. "It's me Nick. Let me in!"
No answer!
Rod tried the door knob and it was locked. He felt something gummy on
his hand and he peered at it close in the dawn light. It was some sort
of odoriferous matter that seemed to have streaks of blood running
through it. He started pounding on the door. "Nick. Nick! Open this
frigging door!"
No answer!           Cont.

Message: 304
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Story
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 08:10:57

Cont.
Rod fumbled for his keys and finally found the right one and opened the
door. He burst into the room and the sight that he saw made him retch!
Nick was still sitting in the same chair as he was when Rod left.
Someone had taken a tire off of Nick's car and put it over his head,
draping like a huge necklace on his chest. His tire iron had been
shoved into his forehead very cleanly and emerged from the back of his
head.  There was no blood. In his hand was a crumpled piece of paper.
Rod slowly removed it. Hastily scribbled, the note said ....
 
                     'Second Best!'
 
Rod dropped it and ran screaming from the house!

Message: 305
Author: $ Ralph Blehm
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: David
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 09:47:24

Did you ever think of driving a stake in his heart? Also twll Sandy to load
up with silver bullets.                                  ^tell
                           The Old Fart Ralph

Message: 306
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Old Fart Ralph B.
Subject: last
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:36:54

Naw! That wouldn't work because he's neither a Vampire or a Werewolf! Those
things are useless here. Read on .......

Message: 307
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: The morning paper!
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:38:49

Final                                                    35 cents
Edition          THE ARIZONA REPULSIVE
_____________________________________________________________________
Friday, Oct. 3rd 1988                          99th year, No 130
_____________________________________________________________________
6th BODY FOUND IN CHAIN         ::all the details of this murder
   OF BRUTAL MURDERS.           ::from the public. They are starting
     Police found the remains of::to panic. There's no reason
Mr. Nick Ianuzzi yesterday at   ::as the murderer seems to be taking
his friend Rod Williams house in::his revenge out on the Apollo BBS
the downtown central Phoenix    ::Members. We have posted guards at
area. The murderer is alleged  ::each of their homes & security is
to have came in a side entrance ::tight. No one is going to get by
door and surprised the victim.   ::my men! We have questioned a few
Mr. Williams found the body at  ::suspects, but have unfortunately
dawn. He was held briefly for   ::came up empty handed. These awful
questioning, but released as    ::killings make no sense at all".
there was no evidence that he   ::When pressed for details, the
was involved in the crime.      ::Chief would make no more comments
Police are still baffled as to  ::but did say "we will get this
who is committing such horrible ::maniac one way or another! No one
brutal murders. When questioned ::is going to get away with stuff
by reporters, Police Chief Joe  ::like this in My town! We are ..
Friday said "We are with holding::_____ cont. page A-45______________

Message: 308
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Tawdry Tales
Subject: Another page.
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 11:40:34

A-10 The Arizona Repulsive                            Oct. 3, 1988
_____________________________________________________________________
LOCAL WOMAN FOUND RUNNING      ::OBITUARY COLUMN.
AMOK WITH GUN IN OLD           ::____________________________________
       CEMETERY                ::    A well thought of business man
     A middle  aged attractive ::and church member, Mr. Todd Reese,
woman was found last night by  ::was found dead in his home today, an
the caretaker of the cemetery  ::appearant suicide. At first, police
running around among the graves::thought this was another one of the
babbling to herself and waving ::brutal murders to have occurred in
a small hand gun. The caretaker::Phoenix in the last two weeks, but
called Digger, said he heard   ::later changed their minds. Mr. Reese
three shots fired and ran out  ::was reportedly to be despondent over
to see what was going on and   ::having bought a Tandy computer. When
found the woman foaming at the ::his wife found him, he had rammed
mouth, running from grave to   ::his head into the monitor and the
grave and babbling "Bang! Bang!::glass had cut his jugular vain.
Your dead!" The police ask the ::He was drained of all his blood.
caretaker if she had said any  ::Police were puzzled at the bloody
thing else and he mysteriously ::hand print on the back of his head,
refused to answer. Police had  ::but later came to the conclusion
the woman removed to 'Dullhead ::that he must have somehow gotten
Mental hospital' until they    ::his own hand back there. They have
find out who she is.___________::listed this as a suicide.___________

Message: 309
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Christian Rod!
Subject: Oudin
Date: 09/26/88  Time: 16:39:56

Yawn.

WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:E?


Enter category,  for list:S

You chose Silly Burkhart

Subject:You

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Yes, you have changed and it appears you changed into an asshole.  
 2:But that is understandable because JT was an asshole before you.
 3:                                Rod
 4:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 310