Apollo BBS Archive - October 1988

Apollo BBS Archive - October 9, 1988


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Message: 4431
Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 18:18:05

I'll bet the case she would be chosen for would be some sort of domestic
issue.

Message: 4432
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 18:53:45

That seems likely, since very few cases in Arizona court have anything to do
with foreign policy.

Message: 4433
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:25:43

Unless you count Mexican drug smuggling.

Message: 4434
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:07:38

That would be under federal jurisdiction, no?

Message: 4435
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Answer!
Subject: Jugs
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:55:57

She's "Jeannie Innajug" because "Jeannie Innabottle" is just too long.
I'm still curious, though, as to what she's doing in there.
 
Perhaps she's really Barbara Eden, who for obvious reasons can't use her
real name to log in to Apollo.
 
(Then again, she may be Dan Deacon with high hopes)

Message: 4436
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Kars / Automotive
Subject: Sysop Mobile
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:44:59

        This past week I pulled my 1982 Dodge Charger (the one with the
SYSOP plates) into my shop and took off the head and almost everything else.
The Mopar 2.2 engine has an aluminum cylinder head, and since I suspected
some leakage I 'flycut' .010 (ten thousands of an inch) off.  I replaced all
the valve seals, overhead cam timing belt, and all other rubber parts
including vacuum and water hoses.  I rebuilt (not replace) the alternator ,
distributer and starter motor myself, just for G.P. since it was all
apart... The extra stuff I did was match the intake and exaust ports (with
my Dumore Grinder) to get a little more ZIP out of my motor... (so I can
blow off Nick).... and the final touch is Sandy and I made the decrotive
backward hood scoop functional!

       It is all back together and the engine looks and runs like BRAND new,
and there are no leaks!  Now all that is left is to fix the horn button and
the clock.... (Clocks always seem to fail.... I wonder why they can't take
the vibration)

Anyone else need their heads 'Fly Cut' ?  or some other special milling job?

*=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

Message: 4437
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Last
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 10:29:04

My head has already been cut, and I've been told it looks very 'fly' just as
it is.

$tatus Club Bulletin Board command:EC

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Subject:Nick

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Would you like to 'serve' in Raedonna's place.  By the way, I 
 2:receive a jury summons notice 2 days before her.
 3:end

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Message: 4440
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Answer!
Subject: last
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 13:23:11

        Do you want me to remove it from and install it also?
I suppose it depends on how many parts it needs...like if it needs a punch
out job with over sized pistons...or just needs rings and a valve job....

*=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

Message: 4441
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Cars
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 14:50:37

        Cliff also replaced the driver..........

(sniff)

Message: 4442
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Toddddddddd
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 14:53:25

        Sorry to have been so familiar with you ......

Only your closest and intimate friends call you by your one 'D'.

        SSSSSSSSandy

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Subject:Cliff

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Yeah, R&R, rings, bearings, hone.
 2:end

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Subject:Cliff

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        How much to rebuild a sluggish 77 Mopar, slant six engine?  The carb
 2:and alternator are new.
 3:                                Me
 4:end

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Message: 1044
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Ode To Bananas
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 10:32:25

They don't have bones
As we all know
And grow in the tropics
Where de big wind blow
They're big and yellow
And sure to please
Just don't leave them
Next to the old blu cheez.

Creative Corner Bulletin Board command:ER

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Subject:Bananas

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Dry em out 'n smoke them.
 2:        Get a damn big buzzzzzz.
 3:        But watch out how yer drivin,
 4:        You might run into de fuzz.
 5:end

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Message: 54539
Author: Robert Simpson
Category: Tales & Tall Stories
Subject: I'm back
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 16:14:15

     I came down with appendicitis tuesday night, and while I was in the
hospital, the circuit in my room blew--causing my system to crash.  I just
got home today, so I just wanted to leave a message telling everyone I'm
back online.
 
        Robert
        Black Castle 5.0  843-6782

Message: 54540
Author: Rod Willliams
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: My father-in-law
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 17:31:20

Hi, let me tell you about my father=in-law.  He's a truly awesome man.  Let
me tell ya about a couple of typical weeks for him.  Like the week before
last, for example, he was very busy.  He flew the space shuttle, which
landed on Monday, and then he had to hurry to WAshington because it wa the
first monday in october and he's Chief Justice of the United States and he
had to get back to open the new term of the Supreme Court.  During the
evenings he worked in his garage on his hobby (finding a cure for cancer)
and tomorrow he plays quarter back for the 4-1 Los Angele Rams (the only
game they lost was last week when my father-in-law was in space and couldn't
play).  Anyway, this is just a small sampling of his activity in his life. 
He has achieved much.  So when he says the United States sucks and pig
capialism must be overthrone, we can be quite certain he's right.

Message: 54542
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Rod
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:32:42

What's rule 1-10?

Message: 54543
Author: $ David Burkhart
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Quayle
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:35:58

The Dukakis campaign is running a silly ad showing "advisors" sitting around
a table, discussing what to do about Quayle -- and one suggests dropping him
from the ticket.
The perfect rebuttal would be an ad showing advisors asking whether it's too
late to drop Dukakis from the ticket, as he's clearly hurting Bentsen's
chances.

Message: 54544
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:06:44

That's silly.  Dukakis is the presidential nominee.

Message: 54545
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: last
Date: 10/08/88  Time: 22:00:56

That's just a well-circulated rumor.

Message: 54546
Author: $ Carol Graham
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: posts
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 00:23:36

I finally got the joke!!!
 
Cliffy opened up the board and all these weird persons signed on under
status-users' names and could put all that drivel on without any
problem.
 
Cute idea, Cliff!  Maybe I'll borrow it sometime for CarolCom's.
 
I thought the guy that signed in under Mike Carter's name was a real ghoul
until I got to the visiting =SYSOP= (and he didn't do a very good imitation
of you, in my opinion...The one who did Rod was fair (but what did he
have to worry about, he's been reading the same crap for 5 years, so he
could just fire away and fool everyone).  But the one that had Todd Reese
swearing...by damn, he'd better watch his step. We all know Todd, and no way
would HE talk like that. Paul?  Well, Paul could have been himself, I am not
sure about that, but I think he underdid it a wee bit.
 
=Ann=  Well, there's no one else who could do her as well as herself...she's
       for real.    JT, too!  Hey, JT - now that they have declared that
water presents a cancer/illness danger, I have begun to imbibe a bit...well,
maybe a little more than a bit...But, hell, if Todd Reese can swear, and
Paul can repeat swearwords - then what do you expect?  This whole world is
going to the place that Rod doesn't believe in....nite  Carol-> (Maybe)
   RALPH!!!! SEE WHAT *YOU* STARTED!!!!!

Message: 54547
Author: $ Paul Savage
Category: Answer!
Subject: Ann
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 04:31:00

Your assessment of my posts re: Cliff is incorrect, Ann. Nowhere did I use
the word slobbering.
Not being a lawyer, I would imagine that people on public property refusing
to disperse upon reasonable request could be considered trespassers.
 Weren't the demonstrators at the ammo site where the guy lost his legs
under the train about to be charged with the same thing? I seem to remember
that they were.

Message: 54548
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Answer!
Subject: Rod Willliams
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 06:26:27

Actually Rod's father-in-law is quite intelligent.  I stayed with him in
Lousiana and talked with him a bit.  

Message: 54549
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Hawley
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 07:21:54

Well, if he wasted his time talking to you, he can't be terribly bright.

Message: 54550
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Rod/donkey
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 08:01:51

I remember a preacher who always came to church on sunday morning riding a
donkey that he tied up right out side the window by the alter. One day a
fire started in church and he ran to the window and was going to jump on his
donkey and ride off, but someone had dug a sewer hole and moved the donkey.
The poor preacher jumped into the hole instead. Just goes to show you, some
people don't know their ass from a hole in the ground!  Ta, ta. =*--ANN--*=

Message: 54551
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: The SYSOP Speaks
Subject: PUBlic Board...
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:18:37

        Cute, but lets keep the Jokes on the COSmos SIG....
I may create a SELf Righteous SIG, but Paul S. will be its ONLY member.

*=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

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Subject:Jasmine's father

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Do not forget, he was the Director of the U.S. Public Service 
 2:Hospital at New Orleans for quite a few years.
 3:end

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Subject:Apro/propaganda

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        I know exactly what you are saying.  Just this morning on cable, 
 2:Nickelodeon, the program for children talked about voting (phone in vote) 
 3:and of course, they did not suprise me, you can vote for Dukakis or Bush.  
 4:No mention was made of any of the other candidates for president. 
 5:        The 'machine' controls both the Republican and Democratic 
 6:Candidates.  
 7:        Why not a debate, at least, including Ron Paul of the Libertarian 
 8:Party.  We both know why.
 9:
10:        I enjoy your posts.
11:                                Rod
12:end

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Message: 54554
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Ann's "joke"
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:29:53

That is less a joke than a non sequitur.  It is clear that the protagonist's
problem is not that he cannot tell the difference between his ass and a hole
in the ground, but simply that, in the heat of the moment (so to speak), he
did not check to see whether the former was where he had left it -- and
it turned out it had been replaced with the latter.  No doubt as soon as he
fell into the hole, he realized that his ass was not, indeed, where he
expected to find it.

A more accurate punchline would have been:  "Just goes to show you, some
people, when they are under extreme duress, do not bother to check whether
their ass has been replaced with a hole in the ground."  This would have
been equally funny, as well.

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Subject:last

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        You need some Holy Water!
 2:end

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*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board entered *=*

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Message: 368
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: Story
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 06:27:15

I thought the story sucked.

Message: 369
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: Digger
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 08:11:30

Well, I can't imagine why. You had a very good, starring part in it! And you
played your part well. When I thought of a 'crusty, old, nasty, grave
digger, I thought of you first off! You are always in my stories as one of
the stars be it about lewd sex or gory murder. Somehow, you always seem to
fit somewhere in a story! =*--Annie the Fanny--*=

Message: 370
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Hawley Crock Smith
Subject: Story/last
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:22:25

        I was sad to see Digger killed off, and that is probably why James
said it sucked!  I personaly think you should have just castrated him, that
way he would not have lost anything usefull to himself.

*=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

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Subject:castrated

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        James was castrated when he was 14 due to an unfortunate accident in
 2:Cashion, Az.  Perhaps, because of this fact, he may well be the giant penis 
 3:maker.  
 4:                                Rod
 5:P.S.  Hey, James, I'll loan you mine, it works.
 6:end

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Message: 372
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Mighty SYSOPs
Subject: James
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:06:33

        At least something sucked, James. You sure can't.

Message: 373
Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: Rod/Ann
Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:11:53

        About this lewd sex story that Rod has so eagerly volunteered 
participate in ............
        I suppose there will have to some on hand personal experiences
in order to get a more realistic story, huh?
        Will this lewd sex story have a plot? ----- Just curious.
        If James is going to be another main character, we could make the
story a lewd sex comedy.
        If Ann, then an adventure.
        If Rod, then a fantasy.
        If Cliff, then an Oscar Weiner.

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Subject:last

 1:        Yes, we need careful analysis.
 2:end

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