Apollo BBS Archive - March 1990

Apollo BBS Archive - March 25, 1990

Mail from Zak Woodruff
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 00:42:24

I am sorry I didn't get to see Burkhart.  How long is he in town?  I'll have
to give him a call tomorrow.
 
I think Cliff SUCKS!
[A]bort, [C]ontinue, [I]nsty-reply or [Z]ap:Insty-reply

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:I forgot how long David said he would be here.  You'd better call.
 2:
 3:What does Cliff suck?
 4:
 5:Zee you at the Gallery.  Perhaps we could gang-bang one of those females in 
 6:the sleazy black dresses.  Hmmmmm.
Message: 64205
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Gordon Little
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:26:43

Bravo for your messages.  Good reading.  I can't disagree.

Message: 64206
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: COMMENT
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:27:58

Just think of all of the deaths that occur each year from traffic
fatalities due to a people rushing to work each morning who are not fully
aware of their surroundings.

It is now recognized that a certain segment of the population are more
aware during the night hours while others can better function in the
mornings.  We each have a biological clock that determines when our brain is
in regression or active.

I am what is referred to as a night person and at 6 or 7 AM I find it to
my disadvantage to make quick decisions.  But in the late evening my mind
flows like a rushing river.  I go through REM around 10 AM.

Business should better recognize this feature of the human and make
arrangements to schedule the early riser for just that, an early position
while the night owl shouldn't be required to be on the expressway at 7 AM.

Another thought that comes to mind are the school age children who are
required by law to be in class at such an early hour.  I remember when I was
enrolled in school I had the most terrible time getting up.  With each new
grade I entered the more I fought my mother trying to get me out of bed. 
And I never liked being made to go to bed when darkness came.  I remember
laying there, not sleepy, going over fantasies until the Sandman came.

My point for the above paragraph is that a lot of so called education is
being wasted on much of the youth in the early morning.

Finally, consider the seasons of the year.  They are not taken into account
by business.  In the winter, when one has to be at the job and functioning
by 8 AM it is still dark.  But in the summer months it has been light for
four hours already.

This is just a part of what is wrong with an unbending social structure. 
The less it bends the worse it is.

Perhaps, just perhaps this is just a part of the reason for some criminal
behavior.  A night person finds it hard to function in a, for the most part,
day world.  I do know for a fact that it is why I operate my own business. 
I just could never get up at 6 AM but the few jobs I had that required me to
do so caused me to stand in the shower for half of forever or until my eyes
opened.  I also guess this is why caffeine is such a popular & LEGAL drug.

                                        -Rod

Message: 64208
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Answer!
Subject: Bob - Hello
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:29:36

Re: Bob, # 64200  (Hypocrite - pull the switch)

No Bob, I won't call you a hypocrite, neither will I call you a Christian.

But another bibical passage comes to mind, in fact several:

      Let he who is without sin flip the switch.

And, if per chance the condemned prisoner, prior to being taken to the
'chair' asked you to wash his feet, would you?  I am curious as to your
response.

Re: 64201 (Change the law)

As previously stated I have read your Christian bible, cover to cover. 
Fact is Bob, I have read many other books on the subject.  I am not one of
those who can quote chapter and verse like so many.  I am one who has
grasped the root (or spirit) of the content (message).

This I have also done in my profession and that is why I am successful.

I did read a passage attributed to Jesus that stated he had come to change
the law from an eye for an eye to love and forgiveness.

"You have heard that it was said, eye for an eye, tooth for tooth but I
say to you oppose not the injurious person; but if anyone strike thee on thy
right cheek turn to him also the left."  (note:  The way the Christian minds
seems to work, as evidenced by Paul Savage is this;  the bible says that if
the right cheek is hit, turn to them the left......but Paul feels it is
justifiable that if someone hits his left cheek first the bible says
nothing about turning their right cheek to the attack.  It specifically
states that the right cheek MUST be struck first and no further details are
available.  end of note)

To continue:  "You have heard that it was said (old law) Thou shall love
thy neighbor and hate thine enemies.  But I say to you love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you."

"And if you salute your brethren only, in what do you excell?  Do not even
the gentiles do the same."

Now I have a fairly old bible so yours could say almost anything.  Bible's
change meanings every few years. That book is the most ambiguous book ever
written to my knowledge.  People of religion will be fighting over it long
after I am dead.
                                        -Rod

Public & Free Bulletin Board command:J

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

$*[$TA]tus Club
  [ART] & Literature
$*[ATH]eists of Apollo
  [CHR]istians of Apollo
  [COM]puter Talk Only 
$*[COS]mos (X-Rated)
$*[FIL]m & Video SIG
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  [MUS]ic SIG
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$*[STO]re "GEMINI"

Journey to which SIG:ATH

*=* Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board entered *=*

Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:O

Beck, Jeff
Blehm, Ralph
Brown, Spaz
Dee, Melissa
Dobbs, Bob
Dog, Beauregard
Flash, Jack
Hathaway, Dean
Hawley, James
Ianuzzi, Nick
Lippard, Jim
Mann, Roger
Oudin, Ann
Petrisko, Peter
Taranto, James
Williams, Rod
Woodruff, Zak

Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 1134
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Dog Shit!!!
Subject: Levi's commercials
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 02:46:38

Well, I used to think that their 501 commercials were the worst ads on TV,
but they have now been made almost palatable by the yuppie idiocy of the
"Dockers" commercials.

Message: 1135
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Dog Shit!!!
Subject: Rod on sex
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 10:06:23

Another great thing to do is to be making love to your wife and yell out
your girlfriends name and then try to hold on for 5 seconds! Interesting.
                               -=*) ANN (*=-

Message: 1136
Author: $ Melissa Dee
Category: Dog Shit!!!
Subject: Ann on Rod on SEx
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:43:47

I don't get it.  Ann's version is only 3 seconds shorter.  Other than that
they are the same.
Both are pretty awful.

Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:E?

[A]nswer!                [C]hit-Chat
[D]og Shit!!!            [E]xpired Soul
[P]uppy Swirls           [Q]uestion?
[R]on's thoughts         [S]hut Up Already!
[T] & A                  [W]oofs & Wonders

Message: 1137
Author: $ Rod Williams
Category: Dog Shit!!!
Subject: last
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:34:43

The world's record for holding on, I believe at last tally, is 8 seconds.  

If you want to see the names of a bunch of atheist scum, at the prompt hit
the O key.  (That's O as in Olive Oil, not 0 as in 10.)  Scum suckers all.

Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:J

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

$*[$TA]tus Club
  [ART] & Literature
$ [ATH]eists of Apollo
  [CHR]istians of Apollo
  [COM]puter Talk Only 
$*[COS]mos (X-Rated)
$*[FIL]m & Video SIG
$*[MIL]lennium Club
  [MUS]ic SIG
  [OLD] Fart SIG
  [PET]s & Animals
$ [PUB]lic & Free BBS
$*[STO]re "GEMINI"

Journey to which SIG:COS

*=* X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board entered *=*

X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 3636
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Beyond...
Subject: tired babblings
Date: 03/23/90  Time: 05:20:08

Haggard am I, an hyena; I hunger and howl.  Men
  think it laughter -- ha! ha! ha!
There is nothing movable or immovable under the
  firmament of heaven on which I may write the
  symbols of the secret of my soul.
Yea, though I were lowered by ropes into the
  utmost Caverns and Vaults of Eternity, there is
  no word to express even the first whisper of the
  Initiator in mine ear: yea, I abhor birth, ululating
  lamentations of Night!
Agony! Agony! the Light within me *breeds* veils; the
  song within me dumbness.
God! in what prism may any man analyze my Light?
Immortal are the adepts; and yet They die -- They die
  as the Gods die, for SORROW.

Message: 3637
Author: $ Melissa Dee
Category: Beyond...
Subject: Kouz Koos
Date: 03/23/90  Time: 09:20:35

They said good-bye to their waiter and thanked the bus boy for wrapping up
their food.  "I put a little something extra in there for you," he whispered
to the man.  The man chuckled and thanked him again as she stood by the door
waiting for him to leave.  As they walked toward the parking lot, he took
her hand and said "I have an idea."  
She followed as he lead her to the gazebo in the middle of the small lake. 
It's purple neon light reflected in the water and in her questioning eyes. 
"What are you going to do?"  she asked as he took the keys out from the
container that held their left overs.  He quietly unlocked the door and they
both sliped inside.  
They walked down the steps into the main dinning area where no one could
see them.  He laughed at the victory of his plot.  She giggled too, from
excitement.  He placed her down on the bar counter and slowly removed her
belt with one hand and sliped the other up her shirt to unsnap her bra. 
"Wait!  What is someone comes in?" she gasped.  "I was planning on it," he
said and pushed her back down on the counter.  He losened her pants and
pulled them down to her knees.  He held her hands down by her side as he
teased her inner thighs with his tongue.  He used his teeth to pull down her
panties and then moved up above her and took off his belt and dropped his
pants low enough to expose his long, hard erection.  She lifted her head up
to meet his and engulfed his cock in her soft mouth.  He was taken by
surprise with this move and fell forward, rocking his hardness into her
pretty mouth.  He took a leg and pushed off her pants and panties and
watched them fall to the floor.  Suddenly, the door to the gazebo opened...

It was Chris, their waiter!  And behind him was Edie, the cook and the short
girl from the pantry who made their salads.  "What the HELL is going on in
MY gazebo?!" exclaimed Edie.  Damn, the man thought, I guess our bus boy
friend must have gotton found out.  But wait, there he is!
"Oh, sorry you guys, when I told them that some people were going to be
celebrating in the gazebo, they just had to join in.  You don't mind, do
you?" And before they could say a word, they walked toward the couple,
taking off their aprons and uniforms.  Chris held down the womans arms and
started to kiss her neck as Edie removed the mans jeans and sucked on his
toes.  The short girl laid ontop of the man he entered his woman and
massaged her breasts.  Edie and the bus boy were content to sit and watch at
first, yelling out "stroke, stroke" but soon wanting in on the action as
well.  They went over to the group and helped them all down to the floor. 
The man and woman were the center of the groups attention and they let them
continue to make love as the others found legs or arms to kiss and touch and
rub up against.  The moans from the couple were getting louder and the group
was rolling around, arms and legs entwined with each other, no one knowing
who was who.  The woman began to tense up and the others could sence she was
close.  Chris kissed her ears, the bus boy held down her arms and sucked on
her fingers, Edie held the mans legs apart while the short girl lapped at
his cock as it appeared from inside his woman.  The countdown began as the
breathing and moaning grow stronger and louder and everyone worked at
bringing their customers to the height of extasy.

The screams began with the woman and then the bus boy and then Edie and
Chris and the girl with the man outlasting them all.  As the sounds subsided
and the wind quietly moved through the doors, they rolled over to look at
the stars through the clear, purple ceiling.  The employees quietly picked
up their things and left the couple to doze in naked bliss.  The bus boy
left the key on the bar counter and Edie locked the doors behind them.  AS
they turned to go back into the resturant, they saw a small crowd gathered
around the entrance.  One older woman walked up to Edie and said, "I have
been a regular here since you opened:  how come THAT isn't put on MY menu?"

Message: 3641
Author: $ Roger Mann
Category: Beyond...
Subject: last, last-1,...
Date: 03/23/90  Time: 12:47:01

Isn't a gazebo a small open sitting area ? And further, if it is in the
middle of the lake, how did John and Marsha get there without getting
soaked ?

Message: 3642
Author: $ Beauregard Dog
Category: Answer !
Subject: roger
Date: 03/23/90  Time: 14:03:06

Who said they weren't soaked :-)

Message: 3643
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Question ?
Subject: Melissa
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 02:36:38

Exactly how many people are involved in this orgy?  I see that there is a
man and a woman who have been dining at some restaurant, and who have no
names but are described in the first of the three posts.  Then there is
Chris, the waiter.  Next, you introduce "Edie, the cook and the short girl
from the pantry who made their salads."  Now, is Edie simply the cook, or is
Edie also the short girl from the pantry?  The spelling renders the name
somewhat ambiguous.  Edie is described as "sucking on the man's toes."  I
find homosexual toe sucking MOST distasteful.  Then there is the
sentence "The short girl laid ontop [sic] of the man as he entered his woman
and massaged her breasts."  Now, as I understand it, the short girl is not
the man's woman.  His dinner companion is.  So, how is it that the short
girl is laying on top of the man as he enters his woman? 
Then, in another part of the story, we find the sentence "The screams began
with the woman and then the bus boy and Edie and Chris and the girl with the
man outlasting them all.  Now, this seems to imply that there are SIX people
involved?  And who outlasts them all: the girl, who is with the man, or the
man?  In addition, all of these simultaneous orgasms are highly unlikely. 
The only people in the history of the world who have ever had simultaneous
orgasms were a pair of Siamese twins living in Jersey.
Why does the short girl lick the man's cock "as it appears from inside his
woman" ?  This necessitates an unpleasant proximity to the other woman's
pussy, as well as implying an alarming indifference to pussy juice,
suggesting lesbian overtones.  Also, there is no "x" in ecstasy, unless of
course you were making some sort of puerile pun.

Message: 3644
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: that story
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 02:54:59

      All I can say is, next time go to the Ianuzzi Ristorante at the
Boulders in Northern Scottsdale (See what you can do with them 'boulders.')

     For Jeff - here are the main characters:
     1. the woman
     2. the man
     3. Chris, the waiter
     4. the busboy
     5. "Edie," the *male* cook (Eddie)
     6. the pantry girl
 
     As for homosexual toe-sucking and "p---- juices," I think that is what
Melissa has in mind.  Sick girl.

Message: 3645
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Question ?
Subject: Melissa
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 03:31:11

BTW, do you masturbate when you key in these stories?  I ask not for myself,
but for Roger Mann, who apparently is too modest to ask you directly.  In
email, he requested that I act as his proxy, saying "...the information
would lend verisimilitude to my own masturbatory fantasies."  He also
expressed an interest in your dildo collection.
 
Did I mention that he regularly calls me up in the middle of the night,
babbling "skimmy-skew" in voices alternating between a high pitched whine
and a passable Marlene Dietrich impression?

Message: 3646
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Question ?
Subject: men's porn
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 03:43:47

Why is it that magazines supposedly catering to male heterosexual tastes
feature spreads (ahem) involving lesbian sex?  Maybe I'm odd about this, but
the concept of two women having sex with each other doesn't turn me on.  I
would guess that most women would feel equally revolted by the concept of
two men having sex with each other, but not being a connoiseur of women's
porno, I have no way of telling.  Of course, I suppose I should know better
than to take a magazine like Penthouse (which is actually one of the less
slimey porn mags, next to playboy) as being representational of the sexual
tastes of men in this country.  Aside from the fact that half of the stories
are written as though the author had no concept of human anatomy, a good
portion of them seem to cater to deviant tastes in one form or another.

Message: 3647
Author: $ Melissa Dee
Category: Answer !
Subject: Zak
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 07:05:28

Nick's place, eh?
Boy, he's really gonna have bad dreams now...

Message: 3648
Author: $ Roger Mann
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: porn macros
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 07:43:20

It seems to me that it would save porn writers a lot of time if we could
use nroff/troff macros instead of having to write the same stuff time
after time. Do you think that there would be a market for this utility,
or am I fantasizing again ?

Message: 3649
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Jeff
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 12:58:11

I too have noticed that men's magazines have lesbians in them and have came
to the conclusion that this sort of thing turns most men on. Could be wrong
though. -=*) ANN (*=-

Message: 3650
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Elin Jeffords
Date: 03/24/90  Time: 17:16:40

   John glanced up from the menu and suddenly realized, as six statuesque
waitresses and two slim Siamese busboys sidled up to him, that he was the
lone customer in the restaurant.  "We have a special tonight," said one of
the waitresses, gesturing toward the steam table.    John felt slightly
dazed as he allowed himself to be led over to the steam table.  The
suddenness of the experience was surrealistic -- and became more so, as
the Siamese busboys, with wicked, pouty grins, pulled out two pairs of
rubber Vulcan ears, put them on, and began striking poses from sixties era
Italian "B" movies.    The waitresses began removing their tops, allowing
their ample bosoms to tumble forth.  The sound was deafening, but
exquisite.  They all had perfect "champagne glass titties," with large
aureolas and pert, strawberry nipples.  Actually, they were more like
champagne flutes, and some of the pert strawberries were covered with the
fine cilia characteristic of Fragaria virginiana.  The busboys kept trying
to shove breadsticks into John's mouth, until he finally slapped them
silly, and they retired to a dark corner where they attempted
(unsuccessfully) to guess each other's sex during a game of Twenty
Questions.  Meanwhile, the statuesque waitresses were stimulating each 
other's vulvas with an egg beater, while Pedro, the parking attendant with
dark eyelids, had donned a lobster mitt and was slapping his own buttocks,
muttering "Oh, senor!"  John got bored and went home.
 

Message: 3651
Author: $ Jeff Beck
Category: Thang!
Subject: gum for Melissa
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 02:44:30

"Take a sniff/pull it out/the taste is gonna move you when you pop it in
your mouth."

Message: 3652
Author: $ Bill Burkett
Category: Thang!
Subject: LEZZIE PIX
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 07:26:17

        I once heard a psychologist (or some such witch doctor)
claim that men enjoy pictures of lesbian couples and women
masturbating because it shows there are women "out there" who
want sex so badly they'll even do each other and themselves.  She
went on to say this was a power thing:  Made the men feel
important and gave them confidence in their own sexual prowess.

Message: 3653
Author: $ Bill Burkett
Category: Thang!
Subject: FREUDIN CUM-ERCIALS
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 07:26:47

        Interpreting commercials with a Freudian mindset can be a
lot of fun.
        Have you seen the Almond Joy/Mounds commercial featuring a
half-man/half-woman dancer?  One side of the dancer is dressed as
a man in a tuxedo while the other side is a woman in a ballroom
gown.  Guess which one represents Almond Joy?  Hint:  The lyrics
to the jingle go "Almond Joy's got nuts.  Peter Paul Mounds
don't."

Message: 3654
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Dandy Sandy
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 10:04:28

I thought about you last night and wised you could have been with me - I
went to one of those adult women's underwear and gadgit party and was it
fun, fun, fun! Even had a male stripper that was fantastic! You should see
some of the gadgits that I bought - I won't mention all (blush) but I did
get this giant penis ice mold! Beware the next time you come to my house for
a drink! 
My penis fetish sure showed! Heh heh. -=*) ANN (*=-
P.S. You ought to see the carboard sunscreen I got for the Vette! Drool!
Now, will I have enough nerve to put it up? Ha.

Message: 3655
Author: $ Melissa Dee
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Ann
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:47:05

And you didn't invite ME?!!
Shezz.  Some friend YOU are! :>

Message: 3657
Author: $ Melissa Dee
Category: Answer !
Subject: Lesbian sex
Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:54:49

I think men like it because they get to see women enjoying sex and there is
no man to look at or compare themselves to (hense the self-convidence issue
previously mentioned).
I often wonder if this idea works the other way around.  Do women like to
see homosexual sex?  Ann?  Sandy?

X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board command:EC

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Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:I hit a gold mine.  There is enough masturbation material on here to last me
 2:till midnight.  Gee, thanks gals and guys.  I'm one happy puppy.
 3:end

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 2:
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