Apollo BBS Archive

Apollo BBS Archive - July 28, 1988


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Message: 3934
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: dancers
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:44:39

Do they wear band-aids over their nipples?

Message: 3935
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Answer!
Subject: Last
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 20:16:11

They only tell their boyfriends that.  They also tell them that they aren't
allowed to see them working.  Some people will believe anything.


Message: 3936
Author: $ Paul Savage
Category: Question?
Subject: Zak
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 06:05:11

Why? Are they bleeding?

Message: 3937
Author: $ Todd Reese
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Exotic Dancing
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 18:15:50

Well, all this talk about exotic dancers got me a little curious, so I
ventured on down to the local topless bar and GUESS WHAT - yep, right there,
right up on the stage - Ann Oudin and Sandy SYSOP were dancing and giggling
away.
 
I laughed so hard they threw me out.

Message: 3938
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Answer!
Subject: Last
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 18:55:15

The way I heard it, you tried to get a little too personal with the ladies.

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Message: 917
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit-Chat
Subject: Rod/last
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 05:56:57

Thanks darling! XXOO =*--ANN--*=

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Message: 1668
Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: #1666/Taranto
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 04:43:36

   If I gotta explain it to you, it' ain't worth the trouble.
 
(LL)oyd Pulley

Message: 1669
Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: More Jokes
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 04:46:26

   Here's a couple that even James T. can understand........
 
Q:  What do you call a masturbating bull?
A:  Beef Stroganoff.
 
 
What do you call a crustacean that has alternating black and white squares
painted upon its carapace?
   
A: A checker crab.
 
 
Q: And what's the term for a gay person impaled upon a barbecue spit?
  
A: A swish-kabob.

Message: 1670
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Lloyd on JT
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 05:58:58

He didn't understand that joke because he never 'got it up' with rye bread
or otherwise! Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=

Message: 1671
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: bread and sex
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:50:47

I've had some kinky experiences with French bread.  It's pretty good - soft
in the center, you know.

Message: 1672
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Ann
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:52:29

Your drawing of me was TOO FUNNY, Ann!  Do you seriously believe that your
music tutorial would inspire me to come all the way up to Phoenix just to
irritate you by putting a big dong in your yard?  Ha!  Get real, chickie!

Message: 1673
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Ann
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 18:47:20

If you must be vulgar, at least don't be such a fucking idiot about it.

Message: 1674
Author: $ Alan Hamilton
Category: Answer !
Subject: Virus
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 07:24:51

   I tried, but it only works on color monitors, not colour ones.
 
     /
 /  *  /  Alan
*     *

Message: 1675
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Cosmos-Chatter
Subject: Zakey Baby sculking
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:12:18

No - I was wrong. It wasn't the tutorial that did it - it was that horrible
Twisted Sister poster I sent you. Right? Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=
P.S. And - a little bird told me you WERE in town at that time!

Message: 1676
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Up Yours
Subject: Taranto
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:14:29

I happen to love 'vulgar' - so fuck off buddy! 

        * Vote Libertarian *

The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EC

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Subject:Ann

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Did YOU really say that?  I can't belive you would actually say the 
 2:F word.  My, my.....
 3:                                Rod
 4:
 5:P.S. JT, we still love you but fuck off.
 6:end

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Message: 53341
Author: $ Dean Hathaway
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Vacation
Date: 07/26/88  Time: 23:51:32

Here is my report on Oregon/Washington during my vacation.

  All the sawmills are on strike and most of the workers do not even know
why. One mill went on strike for some reason and the unions shut down all
the rest to force a settlement. The mills have already become so outdated
and uncompetitive that much of the timber is sent straight to Japan because
it is cheaper to haul it there whole than saw it here.
  Someone has stocked the Willamette river with piranha and they are
surviving because of the warm weather.
  One city in Oregon had their official government astrologer resign and
were deliberating on whether or not to fill the post.
  All land in and around the Colombia Gorge (including my parents' farm)
has been stolen, although the 'owners' will still be allowed to pay
property taxes on it.
  Environmental terrorists prance around on TV every day gleefully telling
how they will destroy logging equipment and do everything they can to
endanger the lives of loggers and mill workers if plans to salvage some
dead, burnt, timber before it rots are allowed to go ahead.

  See you later,
     Dean H.

Message: 53342
Author: $ Dean Hathaway
Category: Politics
Subject: JT
Date: 07/26/88  Time: 23:54:04

  Since I reached a different conclusion than Rothbard and you chose to
mention me rather than him as an example of Libertarian views, you really
have no defense against the charge that your evaluation of Libertarianism
was slipshod and inaccurate. You might want to give the positions of the
Libertarian candidate for President more weight than something I once said
in a theoretical debate.
  If drug laws are more costly than legalization AND an illegitimate use of
force then what is the fault in the Libertarian position? If drug laws are
less costly than legalization and there is no way of finding out without
trying legalization then what is the fault in the Libertarian position?

      I have never seen a man whose bearing was so provoking and
   intolerable. To no opinion, which differed from his, he accorded
   the honor of even a condescending consideration. Everyone who
   contradicted him he treated with abject contempt; every arguement
   that he did not like he answered either with biting scorn at the
   unfathomable ingorance that had prompted it, or with opprobrious
   aspersions upon the motives of him who had advanced it.
           - Fellow revolutionary Carl Schurz speaking of Karl Marx

Message: 53343
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Dean/vacation
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 05:50:44

They ship the timber to Japan to be cut because it's cheaper than doing it
here? Something is sure wrong with our economy if we have to do that!
What did you mean when you mentioned your families farm was stolen? Please
elaborate. I remember those saw mills as being and smelling so wonderful and
the rivers full of fish. (1972) Guess too many Californians moved up there
and made it another 'Fruitcakeland'! =*--ANN--*=

Message: 53344
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Question?
Subject: JT
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 05:56:18

It seems to be obvious you do not want drugs legalized. What is your answer
for that major problem then? You, at times seem to speak with a forked
tongue. I have heard you say that people are responsible for themselves -
they bring their own problems upon themselves - then on the other hand, on
issues like abortion and drugs you don't want people making their own
decissions! =*--ANN--*=

Message: 53345
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: The SYSOP Speaks
Subject: Classic Apollo
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 12:12:10

        I powered up the old Mod I today with the 'OLD' 6.5 Apollo Ware
and took a quick glance at what was posted last year and the year before
that..... and so on....   Last year the trend was to post predictions for
'1988'...   See Dean McCarron say "California will be destroyed by a large
earth quake in May of 88"  (That-a-way Dean).   Oddly enough, some of the
predictions even came true.... stay tuned and find out when "Classic Apollo"
goes back on line, Saturday Night Live!  YES, Mr Slone returns for a short
engagment from the BBS's of Yesteryear.   Don't MISS this!

        This is all part of Apollo's 6th year Birthday party celebration.

*=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

Message: 53346
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Commercial
Subject: Book Clearance
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 12:32:34

        SALE SALE SALE....  All BOOKS must go...

ALL "BOOKS" priced at the very low price of $3.50 (except Atari ST books)

*=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
*=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

P.S.  That is $3.50 EACH pilgrim

Message: 53347
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Hathaway
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 16:57:24

My characterization of your view on abortion is accurate, as far as I
recall.  If I am mistaken, please correct me.  Incidentally, the Libertarian
presidential candidate opposes legal abortion, much to the dismay of many
doctrinaire libertarians.

My complaint about the doctrinaire libertarian approach to drug legalization
and similar issues is not that the policies proposed are incorrect (I have
not studied the issue well enough to make this determination) but that the
reasoning is unsatisfactory because it refuses to take into account anything
except the narrow question of government coercion.

Message: 53348
Author: Apro Poet
Category: Tales & Tall Stories
Subject: Tru Fax
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:14:34

  The following visions have been reported:
  In Mount Shasta, California, more than five thousand 
people have visited Diane Boettcher's home to see the image
of an angel which first appeared on her television set 
during a news program on the harmonic convergence.
  In fostoria, Ohio, residents were braced for an influx of
visitors after reports that a fifteen-foot image of Jesus
Christ and a child had appeared on the side of a soybean-oil
storage tank every night for a week.
  In Nashville, Tennessee, cars jammed a narrow road leading
to a mobile-home park to see the shadow cast on Arlene 
Gardner's freezer when neighbor Katherine Partin turned on
her porch light.  The image looked like a two-foot image of
Jesus' face.
  Officials in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, considered moving
a newly installed streetlight that was reflecting off a bay
window and casting an image of the Blessed Virgin in a 
grotto on another residence.
  In Supino, Italy, crowds of pilgrims flocked to see an
image of Jesus Christ produced by pollution deposits on a
dirty windowpane.

Message: 53349
Author: Apro Poet
Category: Tales & Tall Stories
Subject: Tru Fax
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:19:06

From the *Montreal Gazette*:
                       JESUS IS ALIVE
he was recreated scientifically on another planet thanks to
                            DNA
For free information write to:
  C.R.M.
  2555 Havre-des-iles
  Suite 814
  Chomeday, Laval, Qc
  Canada H7W 4R4
  387-29 3

Message: 53350
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Politics
Subject: Dukakis
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 17:59:29

Lick Bush in '88...

Message: 53351
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Oudin
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 18:46:02

Can't you read, you clown?  I did not take a position on drug legalization,
I used that issue as an example of what is wrong with doctrinaire
libertarian thinking about policy issues.  As for your question about
abortion, it is self-evident that the right to choose one's actions for
oneself does not allow one to violate the rights of others.  While you may
be free to commit suicide, you are not free to commit murder.

Message: 53352
Author: $ Dean Hathaway
Category: Politics
Subject: Dukakis
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 19:06:51

  If you're not a Bush sucker, then what are you?
  See you later,
     Dean H.

Message: 53353
Author: $ Jim Lippard
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Taranto
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 19:13:13

I just read Ronald Hamowy's _Dealing With Drugs_, Arnold Trebach's _The
Great Drug War_, and Thomas Szasz's _Ceremonial Chemistry_ over the weekend.
I think the case for legalization is still extremely strong even when social
factors are taken into consideration.  In fact, the data from Holland and
Alaska seems to indicate that decriminalization leads to less marijuana use,
oddly enough. Before reading these books, I had severely underestimated the
negative factors in drugs being illegal.

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Subject:Lippard/Drugs

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        It is known that many illegal drugs can cause paranoia.  When I 
 2:lived in New Orleans in the 60's, marijuana was VERY illegal.  What I mean 
 3:is, that just having one seed in your possession was enough for the 
 4:establishment to put you away for many years.  Yes, I did have my moments of
 5:paranoia there but then I moved to San Francisco in 1967 for a shot period 
 6:and people were smoking it openly on the streets, in view of the police.  {T

 7:The effect that pot gave was more mellow with NO paranoia.  The point I am 
 8:trying to make is that with harsh laws it is no wonder that highly illegal 
 9:drugs makes one paranoid but take away the penalty the fear goes with it.
10:        I was told recently by a Maricopa County Probation Officer that he 
11:believes as long as alcohol is legal then so should pot be legal.
12:                                Rod
13:end

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Subject:Dean/Oregon

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Gee, I have been saving for a move to Oregon.  
 2:end

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Message: 53356
Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
Category: Politics
Subject: Dukakis
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 23:20:04

        You know that Dukakis is not friendly towards Gun people.  He would
love to UNARM America...  Look at the Laws in Mass....  Get the hint.
        I do not have great love for Bush, but I dislike Dukakis...period!

Vote Bush and keep your arms

Message: 53357
Author: $ Dean Hathaway
Category: Politics
Subject: Ann
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 23:37:13

  The environmental gestapo has seized land along the Columbia river and 
its tributaries and made it into a no-mans-land. They haven't bought the
land, and the 'owners' must still pay taxes on it, but it's value has
been destroyed by their arbitrary restrictions on use and development.
My father says they have told him they intend to put campgrounds on his
farm WITHOUT buying it. This doesn't sound like it can possibly be legal.
  See you later,
     Dean H.

Message: 53358
Author: $ Dean Hathaway
Category: Politics
Subject: JT
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 23:39:02

  The portion of your criticism of Libertarianism dealing with abortion
consisted entirely of the sentence, 'Also, as Dean Hathaway has
demonstrated, their views on abortion are shallow and mindless.' What I
said on the subject back in february was that a woman should have the
right to control her own body, and to remove an unwanted entity from it,
but that this did not mean that an unborn child could be killed during
the process. Shallow and mindless or not, this was my opinion and did
not agree with Rothbard's conclusion that the life of the child was not
a consideration. I maintain that it was inappropriate to cite me as THE
source of Libertarian views on the subject, and I mentioned Ron Paul
as a more appropriate example in full knowledge that he opposes abortion.
  I think that the 'narrow question of government coercion' is exactly
what is missing from government policy decisions and that no other
Libertarian goal is as important as elevating that question to its
rightful position. For Libertarians to start downplaying that aspect of
their philosphy before it has had the needed impact on national policy
would be a tragic mistake.
  See you later,
     Dean H.

Message: 53359
Author: Erik Anderson
Category: Entertainment/Movies
Subject: Fantasy Football
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 01:43:31

Do you like football?  Well, if so you should try out the fantasy football
league that CompuSports is going to be running.  You draft NFL players, and
your team does according to how well the players do in real life.  During
the season you can make trades with other teams, and you will even play
other teams in league games.  Check out the PCFL on CompuSports, 242-5415.
Call for more details, and if you like football you will love this game. 
 
CompuSports
242-5415
24hrs, 300/1200

Message: 53360
Author: $ Paul Savage
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Cliff/Dukakis/guns
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 06:04:10

Michael Dukakis' opinions concerning guns are pretty well known. However,
I seriously doubt that they will have too much effect once he is in the
White House. Don't sell the NRA and other gun lobbies short, or forget that
one man's opinions donot make laws, and those who do are answerable to we
the people. Anti-gun laws, or even gun registration laws would make
criminals out of a lot of people. I do not believe that we will see such on
a national level.

Message: 53361
Author: $ Bill Burkett
Category: Question?
Subject:  JT's LUNCH w/ BORK
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 06:51:27

Did you have pork with Bork?  Did you pop a cork with Bork?  Did you act
like a dork with Bork?
        xxxooo

Message: 53362
Author: $ Alan Hamilton
Category: Politics
Subject: The US Prez
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 07:22:28

    I have my doubts about just how effective a president is in some fields.
The usual process is to claim responsibility for things that go well and
blame the things that go wrong on the preceding adminstration or the
Congress.
    For example, Reagan claims responsibility for getting inflation under
control, but it was more due to the actions of Paul Volker, who was
appointed by Carter.
   As another example, many people don't want Dukakis to be elected because
of the large debts run up in Massachusets.  The same people blame Congress,
not Reagan, for the large debt the US has run up in recent years.  My
question is, if the President isn't the one that runs up deficits, why worry
about Dukakis?  If it's Congress that runs up deficits, Dukakis will have no
affect on it.
 
     /
 /  *  /  Alan
*     *

Message: 53363
Author: $ Jim Lippard
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: last
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 08:13:54

Except that Dukakis will fail to veto things that a Republican president
would veto.

Message: 53364
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Dean/what's legal
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 08:59:56

It is amazing what so called 'enviromentalists' can do! The first time we
ran in to it was in Prescott. We wanted to buy 8 1/2 acres with four log
houses on it for an investment purpose - live in one and rent the others
out. We also wanted to put a mobile home park on the rest. There was no
restriction problems because the guy who owned it had a 'Air Lock' log plant
on the property and had had it there for 20 years - he also rented the log
houses. He moved his plant and wanted to sell the rest. We put our down
payment on it and went to the city. First of all, they told us it was in the
flood plain and nothing could be put on it. (It was not because we already
knew where the flood plain was - but we had found out they had moved it when
this guy put this piece of property on the market!) Secondly, no mobile
homes were allowed in that area - yet they were right down the street. Then
we decided to put a camp ground there that in our opinion, was badly needed
in that area - again, a veto. The end result - the city decided that area
ought to be a bird sancuary - with the right of the owner to rent out those
4 houses! We had to back off of the project because it was going to be a
life long thing for us - to live there and make some sort of living. The guy
that owned it said he was going to sue the city. He did eventually sell it
to a real estate broker and it sits today, in the same condition it was in
1974! All 4 houses sits on less than an acre and the rest is a mess - just
sitting there. There is absolutely nothing a person can do - only wait for a
turn over in city government. But usually that doesn't work either. In the
case of Oregon - when we were there, the locals were complaining about the
Californians coming in and buying up the river land. So I'm sure (Cont)

Message: 53365
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Cont.
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:04:36

.... they got the environmentalists in there to stop it. But they cut their
own throats in doing so. In the case of your father - he could fight it, but
it would probablly be a losing battle - mainly because of court costs. Plus
- you get in bad with the city fathers and they make it hard for you every
step of the way on other things too!
I firmly believe that environmentalist have more power than the president!

              * Vote Libertarian *

Message: 53366
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: News Today
Subject: Koop the Poop
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:53:47

Fron the looks of the paper this morning, old 'Poop' is at it again with the
'eating right' sermon. He admits to violating good eating habits and is
leaving it to his genes to pull him through! Another case of 'Don't do as I
do, do as I say' type stuff. =*--ANN--*=

Message: 53367
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Todd
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 10:16:24

Old English spellings don't look stupid (to me), and I've grown up writing
modern English all of my life. Also, French, Spanish, German, Italian,
Arabic, Chinese, and Russian look quite respectable, also. Could you
imagine, though, having your seven-year-old come through the door, and say:
 
"Daddy! Daddy! I learned how to spell cat today! Wanna hear?"
 
"Sure, son!"
 
"K-A-T."
 
"Uh...that's...uh...GOOD, son. Now run into the kichin and help your muthur
with the dishis."

Message: 53368
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Cliff/53356
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 10:21:34

Gee, if Dukakis took away all our arms, we'd either have a very sore nose,
or this would be a very dead BBS indeed.

Message: 53369
Author: $ Daryl Westfall
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Example/Last
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 10:25:47

this message was typed with my face.
 
That message took exactly 40 seconds to type. Do you want these types of
delays to tie up BBS systems all day long? No! Vote against Dukakis, and
KEEP your arms!
 
This message was brought to you as a public service of Strange People for
No-one.

Message: 53370
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Answer!
Subject: Last
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 14:32:50

I can type with my toes, but it's very slow.  Probably slower than your
nose.  I suppose you could use your tongue, but you'd have to have one of
those protective covers for your keyboard.

Message: 53371
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Westfall
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 15:38:21

Shut up, puke-breath.

Message: 53372
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Hathaway
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 15:39:57

Your point is valid, as far as it goes.  However, libertarians are not going
to have any effect on public policy as long as they frame their arguments in
doctrinaire libertarian terms.  This is why the Cato Institute and the
Reason Foundation are much more effective than the Libertarian Party.

Message: 53373
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Lippard
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 15:40:44

I don't deny that a strong case can be made for legalization, I merely deny
that the doctrinaire libertarian case is a strong one.

Message: 53374
Author: $ James Taranto
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Bill Burkett
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 15:41:46

Go burn in hell.

Message: 53375
Author: $ Jim Lippard
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: Winnebago Surfing
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 16:05:57

Article 528 in rec.humor.funny (Usenet):
Date: 28 Jul 88 03:30:02 GMT
From: [email protected] (BACS Data Communications Group)
Subject: Winnebago Surfing

The wonderfully dangerous sport of WINNEBAGO SURFING was invented by rock
climbers in a national park in Western U.S.  The surfer lurks in an
overhanging tree, rock, output port of tunnel, etc., and hops a ride on the
top of a slow-moving motorhome driven by a tourist.  He waves at passing
motorists, jumps up and down noisily on the roof, or hangs upside-down over
the windshield and makes faces at the driver (while anchored securely with
climbing equipment, since the mark invariably hits the brakes)!  Ideally,
the surfer catches another tree or pre-rigged rope and disappears vertically
before the mark can dismount to investigate (camouflage clothing is useful
here).  An informant in the National Park Service says that the Department
of the Interior ordered the NPS to deal harshly with Winnebago Surfers, and
to suppress all mention of Winnebago Surfing in internal newsletters and
publications, lest the practice become widespread.

Message: 53376
Author: Apro Poet
Category: Tales & Tall Stories
Subject: Tru Fax
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 17:19:18

From the *(Auckland, New Zealand) Central Leader*:

                    LUNATIC PSYCHOPATH
                  Kevin "Maddog" Mudford
                       SPEAKS AT:
                  CHRISTIAN CITY CHURCH
                     LABOUR WEEKEND
                     Saturday 7pm
                  Sunday 10am and 7pm
        PLUS: 'PERFECT TIMING' - CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND
KEVIN MUDFORD HAS BEEN IN OVER 30 INSTITUTIONS, HAS BEEN
CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER, HAD AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM - IN
FACT HE WAS ONE BIG PROBLEM.  PSYCHOLOGISTS LABELLED HIM A
LUNATIC PSYCHOPATH AND HAD GIVEN UP ON HIM.  THEN GOD ZAPPED
HIM! - TODAY, HAPPY AND RELAXED KEVIN SHARES THROUGHOUT THE
COUNTRY, THE MESSAGE OF GODS POWER THAT HAS TRANSFORMED HIS
LIFE.
VENUE: Maungawhau Schools Hall,
ELLERTON ROAD (off Mt Eden Rd)
PHONE PASTOR HAMISH DIVETT 501-057

Message: 53377
Author: Apro Poet
Category: Tales & Tall Stories
Subject: Tru Fax
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 17:30:58

A Correction notice appearing in the *Trenton Times*:
  There was an error in the Dear Abby column that was
published on Monday.  In the fifth paragraph, the second
sentence stated that Charlie's hiccups were cured temporarily
through the use of carbon monoxide.  It should have read
carbon dioxide.

  Officials of the First of American Bank in Lansing,
Michigan, have decided not to press charges against a
panhandler who asked a teller for fifty cents for a beer and
was handed $1,300 by mistake.  The man said he spent the
money.

  An appeal filed by convicted murderer Stephen Peter Morin
was dismissed by the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals.  Morin
had already been executed in another murder case.

  John Ford,  a resident of Mangotsfield, Bristol, was 
rescued from potentially fatal injuries by Colin Sweet, an
employee of the Central Electricity Generating Board.  Ford,
who was attempting to commit suicide, had crashed his car
into a bridge at a hundred miles per hour, staggered nearly
half a mile, climbed onto a 132,000-volt power line, where he
caught fire, then fell more than fifty feet to the ground.

Bulletin Board command:JWAY

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board entered *=*

WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:$C

Press  to abort

Message: 34
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Zak Drools
Subject: Last
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 06:16:15

Actually I've never seen Zak drool.  Now if the category were ourtney
drools, now THAT, I could buy.

Message: 35
Author: $ Zak Woodruff
Category: Zak Drools
Subject: drooling
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 18:02:37

I try to keep my drooling to a minimum around others.  I've tried to quit
for years but it's a habit I just can't kick...or lick, as the case may be. 
As for my fanbelt, Rod, it was the alternator, and it's fixed now, thank you
very much.

Mike Carter, I can smell you...I can SMELL YOU!

WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:EZ

You chose Zak Drools

Subject:Way Below Normal

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Zak was here for a while this evening and Jasmine gave him a glass 
 2:of cold iced tea.  Well, after he left, I inadvertantly picked up his glass 
 3:and took a drink of the little bit he had left.
 4:        Getting to the point, my doctor now informs me that I have aids and 
 5:upon close examination, the glass, (Zak's) showed a colony of that dreaded 
 6:virus.   THANKS A HELL OF A LOT ZAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 7:                                ROD
 8:P.S.  Since I have been so worried about getting AIDS, I get a test for it 
 9:on a daily basis.  I am so paranoid, I even use a condom when I masturbate.
10:
11:Well, I suppose I don't have long to live now.....again, thanks Zak for 
12:Drooling on the glass.
13:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 36

Message: 37
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Zak Drools
Subject: Rod/AIDS
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:43:06

I least you are practicing 'safe sex' as Koop the Poop says you should -
using a condom while masterbating!  =*--ANNIE the ASSp--*=

Message: 38
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Steven Wild-Pussy
Subject: Steven/question
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:44:56

How come you havn't complained about your category? -- Steven wild-pussy? I
know that you are the Apollo wild cat - but pussy???? Is there something
your not telling us? =*--ANNIE the ASSp--*=

Message: 39
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Annie the ASSp
Subject: This sig.
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:46:52

After reading some of these posts and adding a few myself - I can see why we
are all in this sig! Love it! =*--ANNIE the ASSp--*=

Message: 40
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Hawley Crock Smith
Subject: The Void
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:48:37

And don't think I didn't see the insult pointed at me regarding my face in
the story! But I got even with the Wesson Oil bit. Heh heh heh. =*--ANNIE
the ASSp--*=

Message: 41
Author: $ Steven Carls
Category: Steven Wild-Pussy
Subject: name
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 18:48:45

Cliff has been calling me that for years, EH???  I think he is jealous, or
was.  I am surprised he is still calling me that, I 'd thought he would
have grown up by now, EH???  Well, there are many other names he could call
me, EH???  My friends call me man-BEAST....  But that is another story,
EH???
 " The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls


Enter category,  for list:E

You chose Elf A-L-A-N

Subject:

WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:EA

You chose Annie the ASSp

Subject:Way Below Normal

Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
 1:        Like wow, dude, time don't exist.  We all are crocks of shit and 
 2:this earth sucks the big one.
 3:        Gee, finally a SIG I can relate to, duh!
 4:end

Edit command:S

Saving message...
The message is 42

*=* Journey to a SIG *=*

*=* VOID Bulletin Board entered *=* 

Message: 1470
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: story
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 22:33:34

Alright, guys, let's get on with the story here.  This is a board for a
continuing story so get with the damned program!

Message: 1471
Author: $ James Hawley
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: continuation
Date: 07/27/88  Time: 22:48:36

So anyway, Cliff, in a fit of rage, went into a coma and lay unconscious. 
"Oh dear" shouted Ann, wiping the drool from the cold slab of skin some call
a face.  We rushed Cliff to the hoSPITal for an examination, worried that
his condition could end in a fatal mess.  "Stick out your tongue," commanded
the wealthy doctor, but Cliff could not comply, just lie, like a fish out of
water, giving up.  Ann reached in amd grabbed Cliff's tongue with a
voracious energy that only Ann has.  "Wow, some tongue!" exclaimed Ann,
peering enviously at Sandy.  We all made an effort to roll the large thing
out, heck, it was like a giant wet red carpet, only you couldn't walk on it
without really high-quality treads, you know?   "Ok" said the nice doctor,
"He is suffering from Gemini Syndrome.  It happens to many computer
retailers when they stagnate in one outlet for too long."  Sandy's face
became grim at this point and asked, "Is there anything we can do to save
him?"  The doctor, throwing everyone a serious look, said "You can pray. 
And, it might help if you just close the whole thing down and move on to
something else completely."  "Like what?" asked Sandy.  "Well, it could
be...just, anything."  "SUCH AS?" everyone asked in unison.  "Well, such
as...such as pirating, pimping, and RECALLING CORBIN!!!"

"Ahhh...."

Just at that moment...

Message: 1472
Author: $ Ann Oudin
Category: Chit Chat
Subject: story
Date: 07/28/88  Time: 09:37:25

... Dean McCarron walks in with his bottle of Wesson Oil and promply goes
over to where poor Cliff is laying on the table with his tongue hanging out
all over the place and Ann standing by him gawking at that red, long,
exciting piece of meat. "Stand aside all of you" commands Dean. "Let me take
care of him"!
He carefully rolls Cliff's tongue back in his mouth and procedes to pour a
few drops of the oil into Cliff's mouth and stood back. For a few seconds,
nothing happens and they all figured dear Cliff was a gonner - when all of a
sudden, his eye lids fluttered and then opened. Sandy rushed over. "Oh my
darling, you are alive!"
Ann rushes over and says "Oh my darling, you are alive!"
James rushes over and says "Oh my darling, you are alive!"
"Cliff frowns at  James. "Get away from me! Just because theres some Wesson
Oil around doesn't mean ......"
The doctor says "now, now, all of you get away from him and let him have
some air. He's had a bad time of it and needs to rest!"
"Rest?" cried Sandy. "How long does he have to REST?"
"Don't worry about it Sandy" said Dean. He'll get his godly powers back
pretty quick. Just let the oil do it's job!"
"Ok! OK! But we are having a party Saturday night and one of his powers must
be restored by then" Sandy said.
"Which power is that"? asked Ann.
"The power to ........